This is What It Means to be Israel

I want to simply sit in Your presence Lord. I want to give You the personal praise and worship that You deserve. I read this week in "A Long Obedience..." a really interesting quote about worship, that is an act that brings about feelings for God. I also read a really interesting paraphrase of Psalm 122, it says this:

"To give thanks to the name of God — this is what it means to be Israel."

It gave me pause because the Hebrew for Israel means "struggles with God." So in my mind, there's this interesting thought. Perhaps it sheds some light on the fact that praising God is not a simple, mindless thing. It is certainly an integral part of the life of a Christian, but perhaps it's supposed to be much deeper than applauding along to some "praise and worship" songs.

So this week I have certainly struggled to find time for You in a week that was supposed to be the beginning of a real dedication to that. Faculty meetings, long ball games, late nights and early mornings, friends, responsibilities, all sorts of things add up. And I could spend this time questioning myself, my ability to be disciplined in a time that is focused on discipline, my motivation or anything else.

But instead, this is all supposed to be about You anyways. So praise be to the Father! And praise be to the Son! And praise be to the Holy Spirit! The Godhead, three-in-one!

I thank this week for my son. He's not had the best week ever, as he's become fussier and definitely is starting to show a bit of preference for mom (can't blame him, she's prettier!) But Thursday night he snuggled into the crevice of my arm as I lay and watch a basketball game while Courtney read on the floor of the living room. That's a touching scene to me, what a reminder of the blessings of family that accompany me on my journey! Praise be to the Father, You've allowed me to experience being a father for myself.

Thank You for companions. So Bryan and Joel both decided to join and go along, and I simply beseech You for their success. But what a wonderful surprise! Community creating discipline, the life-giving no experienced together. I can't express the pride I had in the way that You are working in my friends as they expressed desire to come along in this journey, to experience it for themselves.

Thank You for being in my thoughts. As I've picked up and read Peterson again this week, discussed Rob Bell with mom, read from Robert Alter's translation and commentary on the Psalms, all sorts of God-inspired thought has popped into my mind. I love to mediate on these questions, these ideas, and on Your life and Your Word. Let it continue to fill me inside so that I can be amazed by Your breadth and depth. Simple questions have amazed me: How long before the crucifixion did You begin to think about the pain and horror that You would have to go through? How long did it loom on the horizon? Or were You the master of living in the here and now, dedicated Your actions here to God's purposes and letting the Father do all the advance planning? It blows my mind to think with that as an "ending" You were able to continue to notice the pains and ills of those around You. When I'm stressed and worried I become selfish. With the biggest of all self-sacrifices ahead of You, You never even seemed stressed until the night before, and You certainly didn't let it put You in fear and inaction.

Thank You for allowing me to lose weight. It's a great discipline motivator. I want to acknowledge it, because it is nice. But I also want to thank You, for You are the one thing I really want to become close to. Take not Your presence from me, but walk with me towards Easter, to celebrate Resurrection together and then to participate in Resurrection life then after.

I love You Lord, and sleep calls. Thank You for my bed, and my loving wife who cuddles me into warmth. You the maker of my joy! It all takes root from You and Your magnificent creation. Continue to be close. Please accept my praise and worship.