The Nature of Worry

1 Samuel

As I read the pages of 1 Samuel, I see David and Saul in this continual dance of distrust, unease, fear and worry. But the one who really seems to worry and be confused is Saul. He fears that David is trying to take the kingdom from him, he fears that David will in fact rebel and kill him, though David twice shows that he is unwilling to take the king's life.

In short, Saul worries over irrational fears. And those irrational fears fly in the face of his actual experience, but what drives them anyways is his self interest, his desire and obsession of holding onto "what is his."

Isn't that true of my worries too, Lord? Most damaging worry is motivated by self-interest. I worry about not having my obligations completed, I worry about looking like a fool when I lead a networking session at the conference, I worry about having a terrible sermon because of how it might make me look, I worry about how many people come to church because it might make me look like a failure... but many of these things are irrational. I'm trying to make myself look better. But do any of them affect who I am as a person?

If my networking session had been boring, would I be less of a teacher? If my sermons are choppy and no one likes them, am I being less than faithful to You? If no one comes to church, am I really a failure for stepping out and doing what I believe You called me to?

Instead of worry, perhaps my response should be responsibility to my ability. If I am worried about something, perhaps I should take a deep breath and say, "What is my responsibility in this issue, and am I doing that to the best of my ability?" Any other question, any other thought will probably lead to fear and worry. These questions can lead to trusting You and finding an answer.

If Saul had asked these questions about David, he would have found that his responsibility was to fairly rule the kingdom and lead the people toward You, and could have focused in on that. But instead he went about chasing David, who was never threatening him in the first place.

Don't let me chase my fears Lord, but let me be focused on my responsibilities.