Lord, as the season of Lent started yesterday I never really confirmed before You what I have chosen to sacrifice in this season, hopefully to sacrifice it for good. I'm truly trying to give up excess this Lent season, having more than I should. One tangible way that I'm going to measure that is by the food that I eat. I am going to refuse any second helpings these next 40 days, well, and I'll probably include Sundays in that since I'm really trying to make this a life habit.
I'm hoping that this helps me with excess in all areas. I'm prone to fits of "passion" where I simply become obsessed with something and spend all my time doing that thing. Reading poetry, watching basketball, thinking about tennis, etc. It's not because I have to but simply because I get so easily carried away with things. I know that I could also end up piling up stuff and enlarging my kingdom because I could end up buying to excess. So I pray that You are with me in my quest to cut the fat, both literally and figuratively.
This morning, I also want to pray for Exodus. It's been a long while since we've had a chance to truly plan, and tomorrow we get that chance. Please help the meeting to go well, and for us to accomplish much together. It would really be awesome if we could get deliverance and community Sundays planned for much of the year. It would be awesome if we knew where some of the topics were going for the rest of the year. It would be awesome to have those things down and start praying for them regularly.
Finally, You are amazing. It was so much fun to snuggle with my wife last night. It was so much fun to chase my son around the dining room last night and play the drums with him on the floor. Any time that I think of my family, I feel overly blessed. This is one area where I appreciate Your excess. I even have frustrations with them right now (Courtney's over-busy because of Pampered Chef and Gideon is clingy to his mommy because he doesn't spend enough time with her on her work nights), but despite these I can't imagine anything better. Lord, thank You!
May this season continue to be full of Your light. Amen.
Showing posts with label journal. Show all posts
Showing posts with label journal. Show all posts
Friday, February 27, 2009
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
It is Good to Wait Silently?
So, I glanced up at my verse in the description today. A thought came to me. What if I wait silently and You never show up?
Okay, so I know the truth in life is that You are always dwelling with us. I know that You will never leave us or forsake us. But there are certainly times when I feel like You are playing hide and go seek. Like, yes, You are somewhere around me but I don't see You, hear You; I'm not experiencing You at all.
Is sitting in silence good then? Because I've found that frustrating. In the world of entertainment, internet, Bible studies, pastor's meetings, iPods, worship music, devotionals, blogging, downloadable sermons, commentaries, etc., if I've chosen silence then I'm probably pretty desparate because silence is usually the least entertaining, least exciting, and least promising of the options. If I'm looking to learn from or about You there seems to be a lot more promise in a sermon, commentary or music than silence. I mean, even just reading the Bible seems like it could be more helpful than silence.
But sitting alone in silence is a theme of Scripture. You come and converse with many while they are alone. Many times they are removed to the wilderness before You speak to them, the wilderness where there are no distractions. Elijah, Moses, John the Baptist; You came to all of them in distraction free environments.
I wonder if Moses was thinking about his sheep while he was before the burning bush, if he was thinking about the people of Israel as he sat with You on the top of Mount Sinai. I doubt it. The sense I get from Scripture is that You were deeply involved with him, engrossing him in Your wonder and the wonder of the plans and commandments that You had for him to communicate and carry out.
As a pastor I identify with Moses. I certainly feel that You have plans and commandments that You would like to see me communicate to my people and for us to then carry those out. But when I sit and wait silently this morning, all I hear is the hum of the computer in the background. All I think about is the stuff I have to get done today. I give it up to You and try to refocus, but there seems little else to focus on.
Maybe it's because I can't get the focus beyond myself. Maybe my time of silence should be more "we" focused. What do You have for "us" not what do You have to say to "me." So what do You want me to communicate?
I want to sit in silence. The idea of just resting with You and listening seems wholistic and comforting to me. I guess, I just want it to have purpose. I want it to be the relational thing I've always believed it could be, not just me falling asleep while waiting for You to say something. So there must be something wrong.
I'm willing to hear that it is something wrong with me, because it almost has to be. Very doubtful that it is something wrong with You because nothing really can be wrong with You. But I need to HEAR what I need to change. If it is good to wait silently for You, please make some good of it soon.
Okay, so I know the truth in life is that You are always dwelling with us. I know that You will never leave us or forsake us. But there are certainly times when I feel like You are playing hide and go seek. Like, yes, You are somewhere around me but I don't see You, hear You; I'm not experiencing You at all.
Is sitting in silence good then? Because I've found that frustrating. In the world of entertainment, internet, Bible studies, pastor's meetings, iPods, worship music, devotionals, blogging, downloadable sermons, commentaries, etc., if I've chosen silence then I'm probably pretty desparate because silence is usually the least entertaining, least exciting, and least promising of the options. If I'm looking to learn from or about You there seems to be a lot more promise in a sermon, commentary or music than silence. I mean, even just reading the Bible seems like it could be more helpful than silence.
But sitting alone in silence is a theme of Scripture. You come and converse with many while they are alone. Many times they are removed to the wilderness before You speak to them, the wilderness where there are no distractions. Elijah, Moses, John the Baptist; You came to all of them in distraction free environments.
I wonder if Moses was thinking about his sheep while he was before the burning bush, if he was thinking about the people of Israel as he sat with You on the top of Mount Sinai. I doubt it. The sense I get from Scripture is that You were deeply involved with him, engrossing him in Your wonder and the wonder of the plans and commandments that You had for him to communicate and carry out.
As a pastor I identify with Moses. I certainly feel that You have plans and commandments that You would like to see me communicate to my people and for us to then carry those out. But when I sit and wait silently this morning, all I hear is the hum of the computer in the background. All I think about is the stuff I have to get done today. I give it up to You and try to refocus, but there seems little else to focus on.
Maybe it's because I can't get the focus beyond myself. Maybe my time of silence should be more "we" focused. What do You have for "us" not what do You have to say to "me." So what do You want me to communicate?
I want to sit in silence. The idea of just resting with You and listening seems wholistic and comforting to me. I guess, I just want it to have purpose. I want it to be the relational thing I've always believed it could be, not just me falling asleep while waiting for You to say something. So there must be something wrong.
I'm willing to hear that it is something wrong with me, because it almost has to be. Very doubtful that it is something wrong with You because nothing really can be wrong with You. But I need to HEAR what I need to change. If it is good to wait silently for You, please make some good of it soon.
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Building Excitement
Lord, reading through Noah's story right now, slowly but surely, I find myself identifying very closely with him in a lot of ways. First of all, the overwhelming nature of what You have asked of me and my community. I mean, following the Way of the Lord, leading an excellent church that models that, and all of my personal responsibilities on top of that is tiring, but...
I've just really been having a great week. And it's all little things. A great teaching meeting on Monday night, the students enjoying the eclasses I've made this week, a good focused day of teaching on Wednesday, holding my wife in labor rehearsal on Wednesday night, hearing that Bryan is moving and excited about the response for Sunday's gathering...they're not huge but they are hugely encouraging.
So I come to this part of Noah's story where he has been afloat for 150 days or whatever, and finally the ark comes to rest on a mountain. It wasn't a huge thing, but how excited must Noah have been. Things were finally starting to move in the right direction. He maybe was nearing a turning point where things would start to move as he had imagined them. Leaving the ark, renewing family life and beginning again to populate and work the earth. The end of floating was the first step in that direction, and that small thing had to be hugely encouraging.
I feel I'm in that mood right now. I know that this isn't theologically deep today, like I've been trying for over several days, but this just warmed my soul. And I know that perhaps this is where I'm at right now. With whatever happened the last two months, I have felt like I (we) have been floating. Now, I feel like we've found anchor. Now I expect to just wait and wait while You clear the rest of the land for us, preparing the way for whatever we embark on, and then open the door and tell us to go to it. It's exciting and I'm glad to be moving forward.
I love You, Lord. Help my life to reflect that joy today.
I've just really been having a great week. And it's all little things. A great teaching meeting on Monday night, the students enjoying the eclasses I've made this week, a good focused day of teaching on Wednesday, holding my wife in labor rehearsal on Wednesday night, hearing that Bryan is moving and excited about the response for Sunday's gathering...they're not huge but they are hugely encouraging.
So I come to this part of Noah's story where he has been afloat for 150 days or whatever, and finally the ark comes to rest on a mountain. It wasn't a huge thing, but how excited must Noah have been. Things were finally starting to move in the right direction. He maybe was nearing a turning point where things would start to move as he had imagined them. Leaving the ark, renewing family life and beginning again to populate and work the earth. The end of floating was the first step in that direction, and that small thing had to be hugely encouraging.
I feel I'm in that mood right now. I know that this isn't theologically deep today, like I've been trying for over several days, but this just warmed my soul. And I know that perhaps this is where I'm at right now. With whatever happened the last two months, I have felt like I (we) have been floating. Now, I feel like we've found anchor. Now I expect to just wait and wait while You clear the rest of the land for us, preparing the way for whatever we embark on, and then open the door and tell us to go to it. It's exciting and I'm glad to be moving forward.
I love You, Lord. Help my life to reflect that joy today.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Sometimes
God, You are so good. Sometimes it is refreshing and interesting and downright exciting to read the Scripture and find all sorts of new things going on within it. Last night as we studied at Exodus, I was so invigorated by the study and all that we learned. I mean, we were able to look at the most boring, random, confusing passage of Scripture we've dealt with and were shown a beautiful side of You, the side of overwhelming grace. I am so thankful for that and the meeting last night.
Other times, I try to jump in and my brain is shot, or things don't jmp out to me or... I don't know. This morning seems to be one of "those" times, where I read about Noah getting into the ark and I'm like, "Uhh..." You have showed me some interesting things (the continual role of water in deliverance, or to be delivered from) but it doesn't seem to be as lifestyle impacting as I always hope for.
Maybe that's because I still need to be focus on the obedience part from last week, maybe You are not quite ready to move on. And I can deal with that. I just pray, whether I am learning new things today or that You will show me new things tomorrow, that I will be following You. Seems like a simple journal entry today, a reminder to myself and from You. But hey, if I've got to stay focused and obedient, I'll take simple.
Other times, I try to jump in and my brain is shot, or things don't jmp out to me or... I don't know. This morning seems to be one of "those" times, where I read about Noah getting into the ark and I'm like, "Uhh..." You have showed me some interesting things (the continual role of water in deliverance, or to be delivered from) but it doesn't seem to be as lifestyle impacting as I always hope for.
Maybe that's because I still need to be focus on the obedience part from last week, maybe You are not quite ready to move on. And I can deal with that. I just pray, whether I am learning new things today or that You will show me new things tomorrow, that I will be following You. Seems like a simple journal entry today, a reminder to myself and from You. But hey, if I've got to stay focused and obedient, I'll take simple.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Standing Between God and Man
So, Sunday at Exodus Community was "Kingdom of Priests" day, in which we were trying to stress the importance of every believer to be a priest to the community surrounding them. And the basic job of the priest is to be one who stands between God and man.
So, I've got this idea that I need to do that. It's funny though, because as I start to go to You with the concerns for others that I have, I realize that their are only a select few in my community that I know really well. It makes me feel bad at relationships, and I realize that something I have to come before with is to improve my people skills, my conversation skills, my noticing of others, and my emptying of myself.
What do I need to stand in for those in Exodus Community? Why are they seeking You today? What should they be seeking You for? What do You want them to know? What do You want us to do?
On Sunday I talked to the group about Moses running up and down the mountain, to talk to the people and to talk to You. You kept calling him up and then sending him down to tell the people something new. Sometimes I feel like I'm running up and down the mountain because I can't remember everything that's going on. For example, I'll pray for Gideon and Courtney, then for Joel's message, and then for the Community in general, and then "Amen." I start getting on to whatever I have to do next and then I'm like, "Oh yeah, Kim needs prayer for her class." Then I start to pray for that and end. Then I remember that we should also pray for the covenant agreement we're preparing, and for the worship, and for Courtney's job. Then my brain moves outside the Community to the rest of my community: my students, my sisters and brother, friends from college, tennis players, etc.
How do you be a priest for the people you know? I'm working on that. What's the result of being a priest for the people you know? Overwhelming tiredness seems to be the answer right now. The amazing thing is that You've already prepared an answer for that. "And My Presece will go with you, and I will give you rest." That's Exodus 33:14, a great verse. Maybe I should make that my "life verse." As we try to be standing between You and others, taking their concerns, sins, problems, even joys before You, we are emptying ourselves out and getting worn thin. You, LORD God, You must go with us and allow us to rest.
LORD, of work and of rest,
Let us stand before You in blessing,
Let us go from You to deliver blessing,
And let us return again to find rest.
In the name of the Father, through the Son, by the Holy Spirit,
Amen.
So, I've got this idea that I need to do that. It's funny though, because as I start to go to You with the concerns for others that I have, I realize that their are only a select few in my community that I know really well. It makes me feel bad at relationships, and I realize that something I have to come before with is to improve my people skills, my conversation skills, my noticing of others, and my emptying of myself.
What do I need to stand in for those in Exodus Community? Why are they seeking You today? What should they be seeking You for? What do You want them to know? What do You want us to do?
On Sunday I talked to the group about Moses running up and down the mountain, to talk to the people and to talk to You. You kept calling him up and then sending him down to tell the people something new. Sometimes I feel like I'm running up and down the mountain because I can't remember everything that's going on. For example, I'll pray for Gideon and Courtney, then for Joel's message, and then for the Community in general, and then "Amen." I start getting on to whatever I have to do next and then I'm like, "Oh yeah, Kim needs prayer for her class." Then I start to pray for that and end. Then I remember that we should also pray for the covenant agreement we're preparing, and for the worship, and for Courtney's job. Then my brain moves outside the Community to the rest of my community: my students, my sisters and brother, friends from college, tennis players, etc.
How do you be a priest for the people you know? I'm working on that. What's the result of being a priest for the people you know? Overwhelming tiredness seems to be the answer right now. The amazing thing is that You've already prepared an answer for that. "And My Presece will go with you, and I will give you rest." That's Exodus 33:14, a great verse. Maybe I should make that my "life verse." As we try to be standing between You and others, taking their concerns, sins, problems, even joys before You, we are emptying ourselves out and getting worn thin. You, LORD God, You must go with us and allow us to rest.
LORD, of work and of rest,
Let us stand before You in blessing,
Let us go from You to deliver blessing,
And let us return again to find rest.
In the name of the Father, through the Son, by the Holy Spirit,
Amen.
Friday, September 28, 2007
The Right Response from Right Motivation?
LORD, this morning it is really hard for me to separate the blessing from the One who gave it. I keep rejoicing in the day that was yesterday, but it is hard for me to keep rejoicing in You. I am pretty sure its because I don't trust You. I know that sounds fairly blunt and to the point, but why not be. I don't trust that You will bless me with another day like yesterday. Why is that? Now I want so badly to win the Sectional, after the blessing of winning in the first round. I want so badly to be close to You, like I was all of the day yesterday...
The danger is that they are becoming entwined in my head. I keep wanting to think that if I stay close to You, if I do my devtions, if I type on this blog, if I read and study Genesis again, that You will bless me and my team again. The danger is that I keep wanting to believe in the "Pop machine" god where I put in what I owe and out pops a blessing. When my team won, I fear that I feel like a found a formula, a way to bring You to bless us. So now I find myself concentrating and worrying a whole lot more about the next match than I did for yesterday's, and again its consuming my thoughts. Freakin' tennis!
So let me give that to You again. Of course I want to win the Sectional, but more than that I want Your breath and the sweet balance of the last several days to flow through my life. I was fasting for several days to bring that balance back. Now I'm eating again. Should I fast again to try to maintain the balance? Or would that seem too much like I was trying to work the formula? I do want to be in relationship with You and maintain the proper fear-of-the-LORD. Help me to do just that.
Aww, I remember now! Last night before I went to bed I read Psalm 96 and said to myself, I need to read this tomorrow morning to just start my day out in the right way, to continue to build relationship. Here's Psalm 96:
Sing to the LORD a new song;
sing to the LORD, all the earth.
Sing to the LORD, praise his name;
proclaim his salvation day after day.
Declare his glory among the nations,
his marvelous deeds among all
peoples.
For great is the LORD and most worthy of
praise;
he is to be feared above all gods.
For all the gods of the nations are idols,
but the LORD made the heavens.
Splendor and majesty are before him;
strength and glory are in his
sanctuary.
Those are the first six verses, ones that just jumped out at me last night. Sing to the LORD, sing to You, sing praise. You know I have to admit that when our relationship is going really well, worship music seems a whole lot less corny. I do find it interesting that two of the main themes here are "singing/praising" and "declaring/proclaiming/ascribing." It's like the right response is to recognise You where You are, and to declare it to others? Or just declare within our own souls? I suppose that's a good question, but proclaiming certainly has a sense of going out, being heard by many.
So is my right response to Your blessing yesterday to proclaim it? To tell everyone of Your glorious blessing? And even if I do that, am I assuming that because I take the right response that You will bless again tomorrow? Am I bringing the right response BECAUSE I want You to bless tomorrow?
Okay, I guess here's the bottom line for me today. The right response seems to be to sing to You (which is not hard right now) so I'm going to do that. The right response seems to be to declare Your wonder and blessing, so I'm going to do that when I have the chance. Of course I want to win the Sectional, which coach doesn't? Is that part of my motivation? Probably. But should a hint of the wrong motivation keep me from making the right response? I don't think so.
Blessed are You, LORD,
God of the blessing.
You give and You give
and we take and take.
Lord God, help us to give back.
Help us to be a blessing,
for the sake of Your name.
All praise and thanks to You.
Amen.
The danger is that they are becoming entwined in my head. I keep wanting to think that if I stay close to You, if I do my devtions, if I type on this blog, if I read and study Genesis again, that You will bless me and my team again. The danger is that I keep wanting to believe in the "Pop machine" god where I put in what I owe and out pops a blessing. When my team won, I fear that I feel like a found a formula, a way to bring You to bless us. So now I find myself concentrating and worrying a whole lot more about the next match than I did for yesterday's, and again its consuming my thoughts. Freakin' tennis!
So let me give that to You again. Of course I want to win the Sectional, but more than that I want Your breath and the sweet balance of the last several days to flow through my life. I was fasting for several days to bring that balance back. Now I'm eating again. Should I fast again to try to maintain the balance? Or would that seem too much like I was trying to work the formula? I do want to be in relationship with You and maintain the proper fear-of-the-LORD. Help me to do just that.
Aww, I remember now! Last night before I went to bed I read Psalm 96 and said to myself, I need to read this tomorrow morning to just start my day out in the right way, to continue to build relationship. Here's Psalm 96:
Sing to the LORD a new song;
sing to the LORD, all the earth.
Sing to the LORD, praise his name;
proclaim his salvation day after day.
Declare his glory among the nations,
his marvelous deeds among all
peoples.
For great is the LORD and most worthy of
praise;
he is to be feared above all gods.
For all the gods of the nations are idols,
but the LORD made the heavens.
Splendor and majesty are before him;
strength and glory are in his
sanctuary.
Those are the first six verses, ones that just jumped out at me last night. Sing to the LORD, sing to You, sing praise. You know I have to admit that when our relationship is going really well, worship music seems a whole lot less corny. I do find it interesting that two of the main themes here are "singing/praising" and "declaring/proclaiming/ascribing." It's like the right response is to recognise You where You are, and to declare it to others? Or just declare within our own souls? I suppose that's a good question, but proclaiming certainly has a sense of going out, being heard by many.
So is my right response to Your blessing yesterday to proclaim it? To tell everyone of Your glorious blessing? And even if I do that, am I assuming that because I take the right response that You will bless again tomorrow? Am I bringing the right response BECAUSE I want You to bless tomorrow?
Okay, I guess here's the bottom line for me today. The right response seems to be to sing to You (which is not hard right now) so I'm going to do that. The right response seems to be to declare Your wonder and blessing, so I'm going to do that when I have the chance. Of course I want to win the Sectional, which coach doesn't? Is that part of my motivation? Probably. But should a hint of the wrong motivation keep me from making the right response? I don't think so.
Blessed are You, LORD,
God of the blessing.
You give and You give
and we take and take.
Lord God, help us to give back.
Help us to be a blessing,
for the sake of Your name.
All praise and thanks to You.
Amen.
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
We Will Wait Upon the Lord
Lord, I woke up this morning singing a song to You. There is a hope in my heart right now that I have not felt for a little while. Maybe it is because tennis season is nearing its close. Maybe its because You are showing Yourself to be very good right now in my life. Maybe its because I've been back in the Scriptures, feeling closer to the God of hope.
It's not as if I was despairing before. Its just that I'd lost a bit of my regular optimism. That's easy to have happen when You watch a lot of things that are important to You (tennis matches) not go the way You wanted them to. Its only even now as I type that that I realize how big of a deal tennis is to me. And why not? I get a lot of validation for the work that I do with the students. Probably more validation than any other thing that I do. Hence, I feel like it is the part of my life that I handle the best. Probably the part then that I leave You out of the most, therefore the disconnection that I've felt with You during the season.
A long time ago I wrote about giving up the good. How do I give up the good in tennis? Do You know what I mean? Like, I'm not going to quit (although, I guess if that were the only way I'd have to do some serious thinking about it). Is there another way to give up the good? To give You the credit maybe?
Well, that's something I'll continue to ponder probably. I still want the tennis season to end well. Probably my deepest desire for the end of this season is that we'd walk away with a win in Sectional. I'd even take a first round win but of course I think would could compete for the whole darn title. I've felt myself recently wanting to do "spiritual" things so maybe You'd repay me by letting the team do well at Sectional. Its funny because before the season I wrote a devotional for the team talking about how that isn't the way that You necessarily work, that we shouldn't expect it. But I want to expect it. I want You to act like that. I want You to help us win the Sectional.
Is that ridiculous? I don't know. I don't want it to be my motivation, and slowing it's becoming not the case. But it's always there in the back of my mind.
The song that I woke with this morning was "Everlasting God." I used to not like this song when we sang it at River Oaks, but after doing more study on waiting, and singing with the Exodus Community, I'm beginning to love it. "Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord." I am waiting this morning for You. I have a lot of things on my plate for the next several weeks, between Sectionals, baby showers, pastor's retreats, and simply being the leader You've called me to. I'm going to need strength. Let it rise, let me feel Your breath through the physical things I do today - teaching, coaching, being a husband. Continue to breathe in me the hope that delivers and leads us into a place of strength.
"Our God, You reign forever
Our hope, our strong Deliverer!"
It's not as if I was despairing before. Its just that I'd lost a bit of my regular optimism. That's easy to have happen when You watch a lot of things that are important to You (tennis matches) not go the way You wanted them to. Its only even now as I type that that I realize how big of a deal tennis is to me. And why not? I get a lot of validation for the work that I do with the students. Probably more validation than any other thing that I do. Hence, I feel like it is the part of my life that I handle the best. Probably the part then that I leave You out of the most, therefore the disconnection that I've felt with You during the season.
A long time ago I wrote about giving up the good. How do I give up the good in tennis? Do You know what I mean? Like, I'm not going to quit (although, I guess if that were the only way I'd have to do some serious thinking about it). Is there another way to give up the good? To give You the credit maybe?
Well, that's something I'll continue to ponder probably. I still want the tennis season to end well. Probably my deepest desire for the end of this season is that we'd walk away with a win in Sectional. I'd even take a first round win but of course I think would could compete for the whole darn title. I've felt myself recently wanting to do "spiritual" things so maybe You'd repay me by letting the team do well at Sectional. Its funny because before the season I wrote a devotional for the team talking about how that isn't the way that You necessarily work, that we shouldn't expect it. But I want to expect it. I want You to act like that. I want You to help us win the Sectional.
Is that ridiculous? I don't know. I don't want it to be my motivation, and slowing it's becoming not the case. But it's always there in the back of my mind.
The song that I woke with this morning was "Everlasting God." I used to not like this song when we sang it at River Oaks, but after doing more study on waiting, and singing with the Exodus Community, I'm beginning to love it. "Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord." I am waiting this morning for You. I have a lot of things on my plate for the next several weeks, between Sectionals, baby showers, pastor's retreats, and simply being the leader You've called me to. I'm going to need strength. Let it rise, let me feel Your breath through the physical things I do today - teaching, coaching, being a husband. Continue to breathe in me the hope that delivers and leads us into a place of strength.
"Our God, You reign forever
Our hope, our strong Deliverer!"
Sunday, September 16, 2007
A Re-Birth
I've been so frustrated lately with the lack of direction in my devotional times Lord. Alright, I admit that with the time crunch that is tennis season, I've had a difficult task in even making time for our daily chats (as is evidenced by my lack of posts). I want to start afresh and anew, but with every attempt to do that I've found that it's usually just words.
Last week, I did a teaching on Passover. It was an eye-opening teaching for myself, seeing all the ways You connecting this original event to the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus. But the point that really was amazing to me was the idea of Passover as a re-birth. A new beginning. You instructed the Israelites to start counting their years from the day of Passover. They were given a fresh start.
When I come to You in repentance, I often don't feel like it's a fresh start. I feel like I've done something wrong and I owe You. For example, without consistent time in the Word, I am beginning to feel guilty. I feel like I owe it to You to spend that time in the Word. But just by feeling like I owe that to You, it all becomes a chore instead of a joy. When I fasted, when I started this online conversation with You, these times were a joy, not a chore, not something I had to do. Now even prayer seems difficult, even just reading is joyless.
So its with this shame and guilt that I come into repentance, and it is with shame and guilt that I leave. And shame and guilt are not a powerful motivator. I've learned at school, as we try to figure out a new direction for the school to go, that if you focus on the things that need to change, they actually don't change too much and the whole thing ends up dying. But if you keep attention on where you want to be, what it will look like if you change, that's a much more powerful motivation.
So what do I want to look like at the end of this week? At the end of the month? When Gideon is born? When the church grows a bit more? When I'm the Bible teacher (and not math) at Bethany? Where do I want my energy to truly flow from?
I know what I want to look like today. I want to be re-born. I want to be passed over, protected from the wrath I fear. I want to enter into safety by the blood-stained door and then be sent out in the morning into freedom. Give me this clean sheet, grant me the peace to rest in a re-birth.
Last week, I did a teaching on Passover. It was an eye-opening teaching for myself, seeing all the ways You connecting this original event to the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus. But the point that really was amazing to me was the idea of Passover as a re-birth. A new beginning. You instructed the Israelites to start counting their years from the day of Passover. They were given a fresh start.
When I come to You in repentance, I often don't feel like it's a fresh start. I feel like I've done something wrong and I owe You. For example, without consistent time in the Word, I am beginning to feel guilty. I feel like I owe it to You to spend that time in the Word. But just by feeling like I owe that to You, it all becomes a chore instead of a joy. When I fasted, when I started this online conversation with You, these times were a joy, not a chore, not something I had to do. Now even prayer seems difficult, even just reading is joyless.
So its with this shame and guilt that I come into repentance, and it is with shame and guilt that I leave. And shame and guilt are not a powerful motivator. I've learned at school, as we try to figure out a new direction for the school to go, that if you focus on the things that need to change, they actually don't change too much and the whole thing ends up dying. But if you keep attention on where you want to be, what it will look like if you change, that's a much more powerful motivation.
So what do I want to look like at the end of this week? At the end of the month? When Gideon is born? When the church grows a bit more? When I'm the Bible teacher (and not math) at Bethany? Where do I want my energy to truly flow from?
I know what I want to look like today. I want to be re-born. I want to be passed over, protected from the wrath I fear. I want to enter into safety by the blood-stained door and then be sent out in the morning into freedom. Give me this clean sheet, grant me the peace to rest in a re-birth.
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Therefore...
Lord, as I prepare this week to speak to the others in Exodus Community in a sermon for the first time, I want to make sure (well, I guess every time after this I want to make sure to but, well, you know) that what I'm saying is simply what You are saying. Nothing that is meant to just be shocking, nothing that is just meant to rattle people's cages...unless that's what the truth is. I guess I'm saying, help me speak Your truth and nothing else.
I don't mean to be humble. I don't mean this in the way that I pray a prayer for Courtney or I to get a job or better from sickness just because I feel like if I don't pray then You won't let us get a job or feel better. No I pray this because I know only You can take my words and make something greater of them. Without Your Spirit, the words will fall where they will and continuing being just words. But through You, through Christ, the Word lives.
All that to say, I'm studying one word in particular and I want to make sure that I get this word right. It's kind of the title of my sermon, and maybe I was a little premature in naming it, because I'm finding it really means something totally different than I originally thought. It's the word "go" and it's in the context of Matthew 28:19...
"Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,"
I thought it meant go, like leave where you are and go somewhere else. Not in the sense of, for example, moving from my home to some place else. No, instead, more in the sense of leave what you are doing right now, the lifestyle you are living right now, the people you are always worried about, the self you are always worried about and "go" to many different types of people.
But I looked the verb up in a Greek dictionary. It's the word "poreuqente" in Greek, a form of poreuomai. Poreuomai has this definition, offered up by www.greekbible.com: to pursue the journey on which one has entered, to continue on one's journey.
To continue...to keep doing what you are doing...that seems totally different to me. It seems like a big miss of translation too. I mean, it makes total sense. Instead of going all over the place and making new relationships all over with the goal of making disciples, work within the relationships you already have established, the places you already know, and make disciples there. Teach and show Christ there. Be Christ where you are at, wherever that is on your journey.
It's very thought-provoking stuff to me. I pray that You reveal to me the truth of this translation and its implications as I continue to study. Then let it be as impactful on others as it is becoming for me.
I don't mean to be humble. I don't mean this in the way that I pray a prayer for Courtney or I to get a job or better from sickness just because I feel like if I don't pray then You won't let us get a job or feel better. No I pray this because I know only You can take my words and make something greater of them. Without Your Spirit, the words will fall where they will and continuing being just words. But through You, through Christ, the Word lives.
All that to say, I'm studying one word in particular and I want to make sure that I get this word right. It's kind of the title of my sermon, and maybe I was a little premature in naming it, because I'm finding it really means something totally different than I originally thought. It's the word "go" and it's in the context of Matthew 28:19...
"Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,"
I thought it meant go, like leave where you are and go somewhere else. Not in the sense of, for example, moving from my home to some place else. No, instead, more in the sense of leave what you are doing right now, the lifestyle you are living right now, the people you are always worried about, the self you are always worried about and "go" to many different types of people.
But I looked the verb up in a Greek dictionary. It's the word "poreuqente" in Greek, a form of poreuomai. Poreuomai has this definition, offered up by www.greekbible.com: to pursue the journey on which one has entered, to continue on one's journey.
To continue...to keep doing what you are doing...that seems totally different to me. It seems like a big miss of translation too. I mean, it makes total sense. Instead of going all over the place and making new relationships all over with the goal of making disciples, work within the relationships you already have established, the places you already know, and make disciples there. Teach and show Christ there. Be Christ where you are at, wherever that is on your journey.
It's very thought-provoking stuff to me. I pray that You reveal to me the truth of this translation and its implications as I continue to study. Then let it be as impactful on others as it is becoming for me.
Sunday, June 3, 2007
I Will Be With You Through the Rain
Went for a walk this morning, just to commune with You, talk to You. About 5 minutes into my walk it started pouring. I stopped under a tree for a while, and despite the pouring, drenching rain all around, I didn't get wet at all. Still, it was just cascading down when I wanted to be on a walk with You.
You spoke real soft at first, then as if I was really supposed to listen, "I will be with you through the rain." It was simple, it was gentle, it has huge implications. None of which I really know yet except...
There's going to be rain.
And God, You will be with me.
Let it be...
You spoke real soft at first, then as if I was really supposed to listen, "I will be with you through the rain." It was simple, it was gentle, it has huge implications. None of which I really know yet except...
There's going to be rain.
And God, You will be with me.
Let it be...
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Shema and Crucifixion
Asked what the greatest commandment was, Jesus responded without hesitation: "Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength." In Hebrew, this is known as the Shema, which is simply the first Hebrew word in the phrase. It is obviously one of the most important statements in the Scriptures, and it should be made even more important to Christians as Jesus picks it out as the most important commandment.
This statement is so wrapped in layers of meaning, from the LORD is one to how we are to love the LORD. What stands out to me is that we are to love the LORD with heart and soul and strength. Basically we need to love God with our whole beings. To break it down a bit, heart is where our emotions and our desires and our will comes from. In Hebrew, it is actually very closely related to our mind. Strength is our body and all of our physicality. Soul, in ancient Hebrew belief, is actually the unity of the emotions, desires, thoughts, character, and so on as the whole person. So love the LORD our God with our whole beings.
So, if Jesus knew this was the greatest command, it's logical to think that He would orient his ministry towards the goal of making it possible. Making it possible for people, humans, to love the LORD with their whole beings, body, mind, and soul.
The more and more I read through the gospels the more that this is simply jumping all over me. Awhile ago I wondered about Jesus' miracles, healings, exorcisms and other radical things that he did that seem so beyond me. Now as I look at that stuff through a different lens, the lens of the Shema, I see that the miracles are meant to change people's minds, to allow them to see that God is God and God is all powerful. That God is the only God. That's why John calls the miracles "signs." They are not just about the miraculous thing that gets done, they are about what the miraculous thing points to. Miracles deliver peoples' minds and hearts and set them on the LORD.
And healings. Healings deliver peoples' bodies, their strength. A blind man, a crippled man, a leprous man, a bleeding woman, these people all have bodily problems that may separate them from worshipping with their whole bodies. A blind man cannot worship the LORD who provided the lush forests and magnificent mountains. A crippled man cannot worship the LORD who gave him speed and dexterity. And so on. Jesus delivers peoples' bodies.
And souls. The wholeness of a person. The seat of their "spirit." Traditionally, we think that this is what Jesus died on the cross for. And it is. But I don't think that it is only in the sense of "so we can go to heaven and be with Him." Soul, in the Shema sense, is the unity of body and mind, strength and heart.
So I think that Jesus came, lived, and died so that salvation could be brought to our heart, strength and soul. So that we could understand and be free to worship the LORD, to love the LORD, with our bodies, minds, and souls.
That seems to make sense to me, and it really helps me understand why Jesus does what he does...don't know how it was explained though. Or what to do with that now.
Lord, I know that You are the LORD. Help me to live in a way that teaches others You are the one LORD, that inspires others to serve You with their strengths, and invites others into the wholeness of Your salvation.
This statement is so wrapped in layers of meaning, from the LORD is one to how we are to love the LORD. What stands out to me is that we are to love the LORD with heart and soul and strength. Basically we need to love God with our whole beings. To break it down a bit, heart is where our emotions and our desires and our will comes from. In Hebrew, it is actually very closely related to our mind. Strength is our body and all of our physicality. Soul, in ancient Hebrew belief, is actually the unity of the emotions, desires, thoughts, character, and so on as the whole person. So love the LORD our God with our whole beings.
So, if Jesus knew this was the greatest command, it's logical to think that He would orient his ministry towards the goal of making it possible. Making it possible for people, humans, to love the LORD with their whole beings, body, mind, and soul.
The more and more I read through the gospels the more that this is simply jumping all over me. Awhile ago I wondered about Jesus' miracles, healings, exorcisms and other radical things that he did that seem so beyond me. Now as I look at that stuff through a different lens, the lens of the Shema, I see that the miracles are meant to change people's minds, to allow them to see that God is God and God is all powerful. That God is the only God. That's why John calls the miracles "signs." They are not just about the miraculous thing that gets done, they are about what the miraculous thing points to. Miracles deliver peoples' minds and hearts and set them on the LORD.
And healings. Healings deliver peoples' bodies, their strength. A blind man, a crippled man, a leprous man, a bleeding woman, these people all have bodily problems that may separate them from worshipping with their whole bodies. A blind man cannot worship the LORD who provided the lush forests and magnificent mountains. A crippled man cannot worship the LORD who gave him speed and dexterity. And so on. Jesus delivers peoples' bodies.
And souls. The wholeness of a person. The seat of their "spirit." Traditionally, we think that this is what Jesus died on the cross for. And it is. But I don't think that it is only in the sense of "so we can go to heaven and be with Him." Soul, in the Shema sense, is the unity of body and mind, strength and heart.
So I think that Jesus came, lived, and died so that salvation could be brought to our heart, strength and soul. So that we could understand and be free to worship the LORD, to love the LORD, with our bodies, minds, and souls.
That seems to make sense to me, and it really helps me understand why Jesus does what he does...don't know how it was explained though. Or what to do with that now.
Lord, I know that You are the LORD. Help me to live in a way that teaches others You are the one LORD, that inspires others to serve You with their strengths, and invites others into the wholeness of Your salvation.
Return
I've been away from this for too long. Honestly, it was refreshing for awhile to not have to post everyday. As I seek after the You, I just wanted to focus and hear You. When I came to posting I felt like I was trying to explain You or get something special. So as I took some time away it just got harder and harder to stay focused. I kept up with the texts, but they didn't mean as much without this space to work through it all. But any time I actually had time to work through stuff, I didn't really want to engage You at all.
Why does this always happen? These times of disinterest? These times of no motivation? When my praise for You should be high, coming up on a time that I will need You most, it seems that I've been the least interested in actually seeking You. I would say that this month has been the most insanely busy month for me in a while. Of course, then we could start questioning my priorities, which would be very fair. They are obviously out of order.
So, today I'm here again. Speak today, through the Scriptures or elsewise. Not so that I have something to post, but instead so that we have something to share together Lord. Return in power to my life as I make the effort to return to You.
Why does this always happen? These times of disinterest? These times of no motivation? When my praise for You should be high, coming up on a time that I will need You most, it seems that I've been the least interested in actually seeking You. I would say that this month has been the most insanely busy month for me in a while. Of course, then we could start questioning my priorities, which would be very fair. They are obviously out of order.
So, today I'm here again. Speak today, through the Scriptures or elsewise. Not so that I have something to post, but instead so that we have something to share together Lord. Return in power to my life as I make the effort to return to You.
Tuesday, May 8, 2007
Giving Up the Good
This is another topic that I've been thinking about posting about for awhile. In the Christian life, in my Christian life, we often think of the things that we want to get rid of. Religiously I am considering the sin that is in my life that I suppose You want me to rid myself of so that our relationship can be closer.
I've never been able to do it. Since middle school I've struggled with lust and all the things that go with it. Right up until today, despite being married to the most beautiful woman in the world, Lord I still struggle. It makes me feel ashamed. It makes me feel ugly. It makes me hate myself. It makes me want to hide myself from You. It makes me feel all wrong. And that's just when I think about it, let alone when I've just done it, caught myself in the middle of it, etc. It's dirty and shameful and... You get the point.
But I'm not sure that sin is what really separates me from You most of the time. I'm almost sure it is not. Here's what I think. I think sin does not separate us because You chose to deal with sin by offering forgiveness through Jesus. Jesus died for me to live and be forgiven. Hence, even though sin is revolting to You, it is ultimately dealt with in my life.
So what keeps me from You? I know there are times when we are far apart, what makes that happen. I believe that it is the good that drives us apart. I believe it is the blessings that my life is full of. I mean, I can honestly say that my life's biggest blessing has been my wife, but the thing that pulled me the farthest from You was my wife as well.
The good tends to be worshipped. The wonderful job opportunity that I could have, the church that I could start, the friends that surround me, the money that You've provided, the food that You've provided, etc. All this becomes so important to me. It is more dangerous in taking over my life because, unlike sin, it has not been dealt with. It is my responsibility to deal with it. You dealt with my sin for me.
I must be willing to give it up. I must be willing to give it all up. Luke 14 calls this the cost of being a disciple. "If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters - yes, even his own life - he cannot be my disciple...any of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple."
I am willing to give things up for You Lord. I am willing, or I will deal with, anything that You want to take from me in order to be more committed to You. I lay it all down before You right now. You are in control. Take what You want. I want You to be in control of the good in me.
I want You to be in control of all of me. So thanks for dealing with the sin by forgiving, and because of that I'm giving up the good.
I've never been able to do it. Since middle school I've struggled with lust and all the things that go with it. Right up until today, despite being married to the most beautiful woman in the world, Lord I still struggle. It makes me feel ashamed. It makes me feel ugly. It makes me hate myself. It makes me want to hide myself from You. It makes me feel all wrong. And that's just when I think about it, let alone when I've just done it, caught myself in the middle of it, etc. It's dirty and shameful and... You get the point.
But I'm not sure that sin is what really separates me from You most of the time. I'm almost sure it is not. Here's what I think. I think sin does not separate us because You chose to deal with sin by offering forgiveness through Jesus. Jesus died for me to live and be forgiven. Hence, even though sin is revolting to You, it is ultimately dealt with in my life.
So what keeps me from You? I know there are times when we are far apart, what makes that happen. I believe that it is the good that drives us apart. I believe it is the blessings that my life is full of. I mean, I can honestly say that my life's biggest blessing has been my wife, but the thing that pulled me the farthest from You was my wife as well.
The good tends to be worshipped. The wonderful job opportunity that I could have, the church that I could start, the friends that surround me, the money that You've provided, the food that You've provided, etc. All this becomes so important to me. It is more dangerous in taking over my life because, unlike sin, it has not been dealt with. It is my responsibility to deal with it. You dealt with my sin for me.
I must be willing to give it up. I must be willing to give it all up. Luke 14 calls this the cost of being a disciple. "If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters - yes, even his own life - he cannot be my disciple...any of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple."
I am willing to give things up for You Lord. I am willing, or I will deal with, anything that You want to take from me in order to be more committed to You. I lay it all down before You right now. You are in control. Take what You want. I want You to be in control of the good in me.
I want You to be in control of all of me. So thanks for dealing with the sin by forgiving, and because of that I'm giving up the good.
Monday, May 7, 2007
This is Where It Gets Big
Okay, enough philosophizing Lord. I love it, but now I'm starting to see the point. I don't want to keep living in "starting to see the point," or "beginning to see how it all plays out." I want to be in on the action, the bringing of the point to others, the preparing the way with hands in the dirt, feet in the soil. Because I believe that's where You've called us all to be.
But it always brings me back to the same point. If preparing the way beginnings (and it must) with deliverance, then who needs delivered? And from what? Do I wait or do I go? Will You bring the opportunities right into my path or must I walk out to where I think the opportunities might be?
So this is where it gets big, and where it gets difficult. My forty this time is to focus on Your will. My prayer then is that You bring into my life soon someone or some situation that I can be a part of bringing deliverance and community to. And by saying that I can be a part, I'd love to have whatever this opportunity is with the support of the Exodus Community.
I trust that You will show us how and where to live Your way. I trust that when we do You will bring salvation. And I must say, I can't wait for that.
But it always brings me back to the same point. If preparing the way beginnings (and it must) with deliverance, then who needs delivered? And from what? Do I wait or do I go? Will You bring the opportunities right into my path or must I walk out to where I think the opportunities might be?
So this is where it gets big, and where it gets difficult. My forty this time is to focus on Your will. My prayer then is that You bring into my life soon someone or some situation that I can be a part of bringing deliverance and community to. And by saying that I can be a part, I'd love to have whatever this opportunity is with the support of the Exodus Community.
I trust that You will show us how and where to live Your way. I trust that when we do You will bring salvation. And I must say, I can't wait for that.
Sunday, May 6, 2007
Why Prepare the Way?
Last time I posted here Lord, we talked and worked through the idea of preparing the way for you by living a life of deliverance, community, knowledge and bringing heaven to others. I found that John the Baptist was exhorted by his father to live this way in order to prepare for you. Apparantly he did, for he is noted in Scripture for "preparing the way."
But the consequences of his preparation jump out at me today as I read John 10:40-42. Jesus has just gone to Jerusalem, where many did not hear the message of John the Baptist, for John stayed mostly in the wilderness. The people of the city's reactions to Jesus is simple, they mostly try to stone him, seize him, and arrest him. Now, that's because the leaders of the people in the city are the Pharisees. They hear the message of the Pharisees, the message that is not noted for "preparing the way."
But what about those who did hear John the Baptist? What about those who believed John and were baptized into his way?
John 10:40-42
Then Jesus went back across the Jordan to the place where John had been baptizing in the early days. Here he stayed and many people came to him. They said, "Though John never performed a miraculous sign, all that John said about this man was true." And in that place many believed in Jesus.
MANY believed in Jesus. In the city, only a rare few. In the wilderness areas across the Jordan, where John prepared the way, many. It's not a coincedence at all. When the way is properly prepared, when people are reminded of and shown deliverance, when they are invited into a Godly community, where they finally know that the LORD is God, and then begin to live that themselves...these people are the ones who will believe. These people will readily find and accept the salvation that Jesus brings.
Thank you Lord for that. Help me to be one who prepares the way. Let me (yes, I forget all the time) remember the ways You've delivered me, and what You have left to deliver me from. Continue to bring the community that I find myself in more into You. Let us know and act on the fact that YOU are God alone. Allow me places to be missional and bring deliverance to others. I pray that for each Christian today, which seems like a big prayer, but how much more evident would Your salvation be if we all began to prepare the way?
But the consequences of his preparation jump out at me today as I read John 10:40-42. Jesus has just gone to Jerusalem, where many did not hear the message of John the Baptist, for John stayed mostly in the wilderness. The people of the city's reactions to Jesus is simple, they mostly try to stone him, seize him, and arrest him. Now, that's because the leaders of the people in the city are the Pharisees. They hear the message of the Pharisees, the message that is not noted for "preparing the way."
But what about those who did hear John the Baptist? What about those who believed John and were baptized into his way?
John 10:40-42
Then Jesus went back across the Jordan to the place where John had been baptizing in the early days. Here he stayed and many people came to him. They said, "Though John never performed a miraculous sign, all that John said about this man was true." And in that place many believed in Jesus.
MANY believed in Jesus. In the city, only a rare few. In the wilderness areas across the Jordan, where John prepared the way, many. It's not a coincedence at all. When the way is properly prepared, when people are reminded of and shown deliverance, when they are invited into a Godly community, where they finally know that the LORD is God, and then begin to live that themselves...these people are the ones who will believe. These people will readily find and accept the salvation that Jesus brings.
Thank you Lord for that. Help me to be one who prepares the way. Let me (yes, I forget all the time) remember the ways You've delivered me, and what You have left to deliver me from. Continue to bring the community that I find myself in more into You. Let us know and act on the fact that YOU are God alone. Allow me places to be missional and bring deliverance to others. I pray that for each Christian today, which seems like a big prayer, but how much more evident would Your salvation be if we all began to prepare the way?
Friday, May 4, 2007
Zechariah's Song
Exodus is simply a beautiful book...which brings me to Zechariah. Wait, let me explain. No, it is to long, let me sum up. As we've (Exodus Community) studied through the book of Exodus, we've been examining four main themes. I've talked about them before and they are huge.
Deliverance, the way that God works in responses to our cries for help to bring us out of oppressive situations. Covenant community, the way that God invites us into Him, into a community of humans, living and breathing, praising and sinning, holy and imperfect, that is centered around the perfect trinitarian community. Knowledge, the way of hearing and seeing and finally knowing that the LORD is the one God and the action, or experience, that appropriately accompanies that head knowledge. And finally, land, which is a difficult word for the last concept, but what it basically entails is the way that we bring the kingdom of heaven here and now, the way we display God's love and power to those we meet now.
We've tossed around big words for these four points, wrestling with what they are, what they mean, where else we see them, why they are important. But we know that they are. We've called them God's plan for all of eternity, salvation, the D.C.K.L., the life of salvation, eternal life, and on and on. We've been trying to find some bearing for them.
Let alone trying to live them, which is the ultimate purpose of all Scripture and is importantly placed within those four points (which we've settled on calling the D.C.K.L. for now). How do you deliver someone? Do they have to want you to? How do you find out that they want you to? What is the best way to invite people into the community? How do we get our community more into God? What do we need to hear? Where do we act that out? What is our specific call in bringing heaven on earth to the community? Who should we be bringing it to?
With questions rising, I came across a Scripture I always overlook a few weeks ago. It's not fully contained within the story of Jesus. It seems like preamble (in some ways it is). It's not bold and awe-striking. It very easily skipped. It's Luke 1:67-79. Zechariah's Song. I'll post the entirity below.
"Praise be to the Lord, the God of Israel,
because he has come and has redeemed his people.
He has raised up a horn of salvation for us
in the house of his servant David
(as he said through his holy prophets of long ago),
salvation from our enemies
and from the hand of all who hate us—
to show mercy to our fathers
and to remember his holy covenant,
the oath he swore to our father Abraham:
to rescue us from the hand of our enemies,
and to enable us to serve him without fear
in holiness and righteousness before him all our days.
And you, my child, will be called a prophet of the Most High;
for you will go on before the Lord to prepare the way for him,
to give his people the knowledge of salvation
through the forgiveness of their sins,
because of the tender mercy of our God,
by which the rising sun will come to us from heaven
to shine on those living in darkness
and in the shadow of death,
to guide our feet into the path of peace."
Just some things to pull out of here. Some breath-taking connections to me. There is a remembrance within this song of God's deliverance (salvation from our enemies, rescue us from the hand of our enemies). There is a remembrance of the covenant, the community formed around the oath to Father Abraham. There is a knowledge, a knowledge of hearing (the tender mercy of God) and action (the forgiveness of their sins). Finally, there is also bringing heaven to earth in our actions (serve him without fear).
But who is this song about? Well, it's twofold right? It's a praise song to the Lord, for his mighty hand had just worked in Zechariah's life to bring him a son, John the Baptist. But it's also a song the son will here, because the ending is addressed to him (And you, my child...).
So what is John the Baptist to do? He's to be a prophet, a priest, but most of all...he's to prepare THE WAY of the LORD. He's to turn people's heart to remember the way of the Lord and repent. He is a worker, cultivating the LORD's way. To "guide our feet in the path of peace." John was the beginning of this way. He prepared it.
And what does Zechariah exort him to remember in preparing this Godly path? Deliverance, covenant community, knowledge, and bringing heaven. The same that God exorted Moses to remember, directly before saving his people from the oppression of Egypt. Strange that they are being brought up again here, directly before Jesus saves humanity from its sins? No.
I have a growing conviction that these four things, the D.C.K.L., they are the way. The way we are to live, the way we are to react, the things we are to speak, the truth that forms our lives. They are the way. In living this, we prepare the way of the LORD. And then God brings the salvation.
Maybe the understanding of salvation is beyond us, for it is only something that God brings through Jesus. But we are part of the preparation. By remembrance, by living, by acting out deliverance, covenant, knowledge and land we turn hearts from hard to soft and prepare them for the salvation of our LORD.
There's the thoughts you've been stirring up in me for awhile Lord. It's Your turn to take them, roll Your tongue around the edges, and respond in wisdom and truth to me. All I've given You is honesty. I love You and praise You for the connections Your bring. All praise to the God of all, the One. You certainly deserve to be remembered in song.
Deliverance, the way that God works in responses to our cries for help to bring us out of oppressive situations. Covenant community, the way that God invites us into Him, into a community of humans, living and breathing, praising and sinning, holy and imperfect, that is centered around the perfect trinitarian community. Knowledge, the way of hearing and seeing and finally knowing that the LORD is the one God and the action, or experience, that appropriately accompanies that head knowledge. And finally, land, which is a difficult word for the last concept, but what it basically entails is the way that we bring the kingdom of heaven here and now, the way we display God's love and power to those we meet now.
We've tossed around big words for these four points, wrestling with what they are, what they mean, where else we see them, why they are important. But we know that they are. We've called them God's plan for all of eternity, salvation, the D.C.K.L., the life of salvation, eternal life, and on and on. We've been trying to find some bearing for them.
Let alone trying to live them, which is the ultimate purpose of all Scripture and is importantly placed within those four points (which we've settled on calling the D.C.K.L. for now). How do you deliver someone? Do they have to want you to? How do you find out that they want you to? What is the best way to invite people into the community? How do we get our community more into God? What do we need to hear? Where do we act that out? What is our specific call in bringing heaven on earth to the community? Who should we be bringing it to?
With questions rising, I came across a Scripture I always overlook a few weeks ago. It's not fully contained within the story of Jesus. It seems like preamble (in some ways it is). It's not bold and awe-striking. It very easily skipped. It's Luke 1:67-79. Zechariah's Song. I'll post the entirity below.
"Praise be to the Lord, the God of Israel,
because he has come and has redeemed his people.
He has raised up a horn of salvation for us
in the house of his servant David
(as he said through his holy prophets of long ago),
salvation from our enemies
and from the hand of all who hate us—
to show mercy to our fathers
and to remember his holy covenant,
the oath he swore to our father Abraham:
to rescue us from the hand of our enemies,
and to enable us to serve him without fear
in holiness and righteousness before him all our days.
And you, my child, will be called a prophet of the Most High;
for you will go on before the Lord to prepare the way for him,
to give his people the knowledge of salvation
through the forgiveness of their sins,
because of the tender mercy of our God,
by which the rising sun will come to us from heaven
to shine on those living in darkness
and in the shadow of death,
to guide our feet into the path of peace."
Just some things to pull out of here. Some breath-taking connections to me. There is a remembrance within this song of God's deliverance (salvation from our enemies, rescue us from the hand of our enemies). There is a remembrance of the covenant, the community formed around the oath to Father Abraham. There is a knowledge, a knowledge of hearing (the tender mercy of God) and action (the forgiveness of their sins). Finally, there is also bringing heaven to earth in our actions (serve him without fear).
But who is this song about? Well, it's twofold right? It's a praise song to the Lord, for his mighty hand had just worked in Zechariah's life to bring him a son, John the Baptist. But it's also a song the son will here, because the ending is addressed to him (And you, my child...).
So what is John the Baptist to do? He's to be a prophet, a priest, but most of all...he's to prepare THE WAY of the LORD. He's to turn people's heart to remember the way of the Lord and repent. He is a worker, cultivating the LORD's way. To "guide our feet in the path of peace." John was the beginning of this way. He prepared it.
And what does Zechariah exort him to remember in preparing this Godly path? Deliverance, covenant community, knowledge, and bringing heaven. The same that God exorted Moses to remember, directly before saving his people from the oppression of Egypt. Strange that they are being brought up again here, directly before Jesus saves humanity from its sins? No.
I have a growing conviction that these four things, the D.C.K.L., they are the way. The way we are to live, the way we are to react, the things we are to speak, the truth that forms our lives. They are the way. In living this, we prepare the way of the LORD. And then God brings the salvation.
Maybe the understanding of salvation is beyond us, for it is only something that God brings through Jesus. But we are part of the preparation. By remembrance, by living, by acting out deliverance, covenant, knowledge and land we turn hearts from hard to soft and prepare them for the salvation of our LORD.
There's the thoughts you've been stirring up in me for awhile Lord. It's Your turn to take them, roll Your tongue around the edges, and respond in wisdom and truth to me. All I've given You is honesty. I love You and praise You for the connections Your bring. All praise to the God of all, the One. You certainly deserve to be remembered in song.
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
Living in the Psalms
Today I finished up my reading of the Psalms. Last weekend when my forty days finished we were actually at my parents house on a marriage retreat weekend with the entire Exodus Community (all of the 4 families - minus Micah). It was a wonderful, enriching time of thinking about our marriages, and thinking of Courtney as a gift that I've been given.
But, in that, I ran out of time to either talk to You through the blog and to read the rest of the texts I had planned on. I had wanted to get through the Psalms in the last forty days, but I got stopped 6 psalms short of that goal. Not a real big deal.
But today I decided to pick that reading up and get through the rest of the psalms. Each of the psalms that I came across were lavishing praise upon the Lord. For being unfathomable, for Your glorious splendor, for Your awesome works, for building up Jerusalem, all things that have breath praise the LORD.
This weekend, when I wasn't reading, my heart was restored to me. My passion for both my marriage and for this life that we're living was renewed. My will to live for You was rebuilt. It seems in the rest and relaxation, in the letting go, in the living I found my praise. I found reasons to praise. Now in coming back from that I have found the appropriate texts for this praise.
You seem to speak through Scripture to me at exactly the right time. Even as today unfolds, I am finding reason upon reason to praise. And it was placed on me early this morning, in my path through psalms.
Maybe this is where the focus upon Your will starts. In the praise. In where we've been and hope for where we're going. Help me to live in this praise, in this place of hope, in these psalms of hallelujahs. For within this life You provide the simple way of praise.
But, in that, I ran out of time to either talk to You through the blog and to read the rest of the texts I had planned on. I had wanted to get through the Psalms in the last forty days, but I got stopped 6 psalms short of that goal. Not a real big deal.
But today I decided to pick that reading up and get through the rest of the psalms. Each of the psalms that I came across were lavishing praise upon the Lord. For being unfathomable, for Your glorious splendor, for Your awesome works, for building up Jerusalem, all things that have breath praise the LORD.
This weekend, when I wasn't reading, my heart was restored to me. My passion for both my marriage and for this life that we're living was renewed. My will to live for You was rebuilt. It seems in the rest and relaxation, in the letting go, in the living I found my praise. I found reasons to praise. Now in coming back from that I have found the appropriate texts for this praise.
You seem to speak through Scripture to me at exactly the right time. Even as today unfolds, I am finding reason upon reason to praise. And it was placed on me early this morning, in my path through psalms.
Maybe this is where the focus upon Your will starts. In the praise. In where we've been and hope for where we're going. Help me to live in this praise, in this place of hope, in these psalms of hallelujahs. For within this life You provide the simple way of praise.
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
Forty Days of Focus
Heavenly Father, I'm confronted with really interesting ideas today. There are a million ideas about You just floating around in my head. I've been struggling to figure out what to write about now that my forty days of silence and study ended this weekend. I haven't even been back to consult with You. Now I'm already two days into my next forty, and I still don't know what the focus is.
Actually I do. As I sit here and think, pray, meditate on You and Your will, I think You've revealed to me that my next forty days need to be forty days of focus. Forty days of prayerful meditation on Your will. That's the focus.
Forty Days of Focus. I kind of like that idea, but it's daunting. It's daunting because it will require even more of my time won't it? Because, I won't be able to sit down and just write and read. I'll have to take time to pray, to confess, to listen, to honestly be quiet in spirit before You.
But let's start right now. Instead of a long blog entry this morning, how about a long, prayerful walk. Help me to focus Lord. Amen.
Actually I do. As I sit here and think, pray, meditate on You and Your will, I think You've revealed to me that my next forty days need to be forty days of focus. Forty days of prayerful meditation on Your will. That's the focus.
Forty Days of Focus. I kind of like that idea, but it's daunting. It's daunting because it will require even more of my time won't it? Because, I won't be able to sit down and just write and read. I'll have to take time to pray, to confess, to listen, to honestly be quiet in spirit before You.
But let's start right now. Instead of a long blog entry this morning, how about a long, prayerful walk. Help me to focus Lord. Amen.
Friday, April 27, 2007
How to Be Missional?
Texts:
- Psalms 141-144
- Matthew 9-10
"And the answer to your question is...I don't know." That was a quote from a play that my middle school students are putting on this weekend. We watched the dress rehearsal today, and every time a very hard question was asked, the wisest character would always say that line. That's how I feel when trying to think about how to be missional, how to get out and live my faith for more than just me.
It's a difficult question Lord. Let me just bring to You the reasons why it is so brain numbing. Number one, and admittedly this is inexcusable, there is the issue of my personality. Pretty introverted, pretty shy with others, take a long time to develop a relationship with other people, therefore don't have many "acquaintances" with anybody other than those I work with. Well, of course there are the friendships that I already have. Strong friendships that I believe I am already living missionally within. How and where do I meet new people? Do I just start walking the roads of the town? Where do I even find people with needs? And if I find them, how do I overcome my uncomfortability to even talk to them?
I mean, Lord, I could just glance over that. But it's a big issue! It makes me not want to meet anybody. Give me a room to paint, a roof to fix, some kids to play with, I'm fine. But ask me to talk and interact with numerous adults in different situations? Awkward.
And worse, I don't even know what You can do about it! I'm not trying to be a jerk here, just honest. I don't believe that You could actually make me comfortable in those situations. Maybe because I don't believe You'd change my personality, maybe because I don't think You want me to be comfortable. You want me to grow. Of course, I wish You could make me grow while I simply sit at home reading Eugene Petereson, the Bible, and watching soccer. But I'm convicted that I must be doing...
So the second thing that makes it so hard is following the example of Christ. I know that I should be like You when You walked the earth, so checking the gospels I find that You were going out to people and helping them. So what were You doing, maybe I can do that! Well, in reading today from Matthew You had healed a man who was paralyzed, forgiven sins, ate dinner with sinners, healed a woman with bleeding, raised a girl from the dead, made a blind man see and drove a demon out of a man.
Excellent. Healing (uh no, I don't think I'll be doing that). Forgiving sins (um...). Raising people from the dead (wow.) Giving people back their lost senses. Finally confronted demonic spirits (yipes!) The only thing from that list that seems remotely plausible is eating with sinners, and trust me, my mind is trying to think of every excuse possible to say no way.
Well, maybe You ask us to do differently? Not to be exactly like You? You don't expect Your disciples to have exactly the same power, I'm sure of it. That's why in Matthew 11:8 You say to Your disciples, "Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those who have leprosy, drive out demons." Oh right, exactly what You just did (and You took out the almost do-able part about eating with sinners, and just left the impossible).
So where does that leave being missional in the way that Jesus is missional. Well, maybe its not about exact imitation, maybe it is about the way that we go about it. Or maybe I need to be healing people. I don't want to just gloss over the New Testament commands, but then again, these things seem unbelievably difficult. So how do we wrestle with this? Lord where do we come out?
And the answer to your question is...
- Psalms 141-144
- Matthew 9-10
"And the answer to your question is...I don't know." That was a quote from a play that my middle school students are putting on this weekend. We watched the dress rehearsal today, and every time a very hard question was asked, the wisest character would always say that line. That's how I feel when trying to think about how to be missional, how to get out and live my faith for more than just me.
It's a difficult question Lord. Let me just bring to You the reasons why it is so brain numbing. Number one, and admittedly this is inexcusable, there is the issue of my personality. Pretty introverted, pretty shy with others, take a long time to develop a relationship with other people, therefore don't have many "acquaintances" with anybody other than those I work with. Well, of course there are the friendships that I already have. Strong friendships that I believe I am already living missionally within. How and where do I meet new people? Do I just start walking the roads of the town? Where do I even find people with needs? And if I find them, how do I overcome my uncomfortability to even talk to them?
I mean, Lord, I could just glance over that. But it's a big issue! It makes me not want to meet anybody. Give me a room to paint, a roof to fix, some kids to play with, I'm fine. But ask me to talk and interact with numerous adults in different situations? Awkward.
And worse, I don't even know what You can do about it! I'm not trying to be a jerk here, just honest. I don't believe that You could actually make me comfortable in those situations. Maybe because I don't believe You'd change my personality, maybe because I don't think You want me to be comfortable. You want me to grow. Of course, I wish You could make me grow while I simply sit at home reading Eugene Petereson, the Bible, and watching soccer. But I'm convicted that I must be doing...
So the second thing that makes it so hard is following the example of Christ. I know that I should be like You when You walked the earth, so checking the gospels I find that You were going out to people and helping them. So what were You doing, maybe I can do that! Well, in reading today from Matthew You had healed a man who was paralyzed, forgiven sins, ate dinner with sinners, healed a woman with bleeding, raised a girl from the dead, made a blind man see and drove a demon out of a man.
Excellent. Healing (uh no, I don't think I'll be doing that). Forgiving sins (um...). Raising people from the dead (wow.) Giving people back their lost senses. Finally confronted demonic spirits (yipes!) The only thing from that list that seems remotely plausible is eating with sinners, and trust me, my mind is trying to think of every excuse possible to say no way.
Well, maybe You ask us to do differently? Not to be exactly like You? You don't expect Your disciples to have exactly the same power, I'm sure of it. That's why in Matthew 11:8 You say to Your disciples, "Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those who have leprosy, drive out demons." Oh right, exactly what You just did (and You took out the almost do-able part about eating with sinners, and just left the impossible).
So where does that leave being missional in the way that Jesus is missional. Well, maybe its not about exact imitation, maybe it is about the way that we go about it. Or maybe I need to be healing people. I don't want to just gloss over the New Testament commands, but then again, these things seem unbelievably difficult. So how do we wrestle with this? Lord where do we come out?
And the answer to your question is...
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Waiting, Waiting
- Psalms 133-136
- Luke 8
- Matthew 13
"I wait for the LORD, my soul waits,
and in his word I put my hope.
My soul waits for the Lord
more than watchmen wait for the morning,
more than watchmen wait for the morning."
My life is full of situations that are too big for me to control. Planting a church, hoping for more students to enroll at 6th grade so that my job description will change to teaching more Bible, praying that my wife feels well when she is not, hoping that God will speak to the whole of the Exodus Community and that we would all be moving in the same direction. I mean, these are some specifics and I could list a whole lot more.
Just an interesting connection from the other day then when I read this passage in Psalms. The other day I read a passage about the watchmen guard in vain if the Lord was not watching with him. Now we see that the psalmist in this verse is waiting for the Lord more than the watchmen waits for the morning.
My question, Lord, is this: What if the watchmen is waiting for You? What if he is standing there on guard, but at the same time waiting for You? His watch is in vain, but it is because You haven't shown up yet. He can't leave his watch, he can't simply leave and go home and sleep, he'd lose is job and might not be able to give any type of warning against intruders or whatever else he's watching for.
So the question is, it's in vain to go on without You or ahead of You, then what do we do while we wait?
There are some places that I feel like I/we need to feel Your power become more evident.
- In funding for the church, for Exodus Community
- In moving people's spirits to be a part of Exodus Community
- In preparing us for the realities of Exodus Community
- In helping Courtney and I, Bryan and Kim, Joel and Jackie, Andy and Julie deal with the financial realities of church-planting
- In hearing Your will
I am waiting for Your answers, Your instructions, even Your questions. I am waiting for You to provide. But I don't know what to do while I wait.
But You've shown me. What does the watchmen do? He hopes for the morning. He waits expectantly for the breaking of dawn, for the dawn means You have just delivered him through another night.
May I wait on You in hope. May my day be filled with the promise of morning, and may that promise of light become evident to all. Blessed are You, Lord God of the morning, who sends the dawn of deliverance at the exact time it is needed most. I see Your power on the horizon and may I calmly await its full coming, in praise and in wonder. Amen.
- Luke 8
- Matthew 13
"I wait for the LORD, my soul waits,
and in his word I put my hope.
My soul waits for the Lord
more than watchmen wait for the morning,
more than watchmen wait for the morning."
My life is full of situations that are too big for me to control. Planting a church, hoping for more students to enroll at 6th grade so that my job description will change to teaching more Bible, praying that my wife feels well when she is not, hoping that God will speak to the whole of the Exodus Community and that we would all be moving in the same direction. I mean, these are some specifics and I could list a whole lot more.
Just an interesting connection from the other day then when I read this passage in Psalms. The other day I read a passage about the watchmen guard in vain if the Lord was not watching with him. Now we see that the psalmist in this verse is waiting for the Lord more than the watchmen waits for the morning.
My question, Lord, is this: What if the watchmen is waiting for You? What if he is standing there on guard, but at the same time waiting for You? His watch is in vain, but it is because You haven't shown up yet. He can't leave his watch, he can't simply leave and go home and sleep, he'd lose is job and might not be able to give any type of warning against intruders or whatever else he's watching for.
So the question is, it's in vain to go on without You or ahead of You, then what do we do while we wait?
There are some places that I feel like I/we need to feel Your power become more evident.
- In funding for the church, for Exodus Community
- In moving people's spirits to be a part of Exodus Community
- In preparing us for the realities of Exodus Community
- In helping Courtney and I, Bryan and Kim, Joel and Jackie, Andy and Julie deal with the financial realities of church-planting
- In hearing Your will
I am waiting for Your answers, Your instructions, even Your questions. I am waiting for You to provide. But I don't know what to do while I wait.
But You've shown me. What does the watchmen do? He hopes for the morning. He waits expectantly for the breaking of dawn, for the dawn means You have just delivered him through another night.
May I wait on You in hope. May my day be filled with the promise of morning, and may that promise of light become evident to all. Blessed are You, Lord God of the morning, who sends the dawn of deliverance at the exact time it is needed most. I see Your power on the horizon and may I calmly await its full coming, in praise and in wonder. Amen.
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