Texts:
- Psalms 141-144
- Matthew 9-10
"And the answer to your question is...I don't know." That was a quote from a play that my middle school students are putting on this weekend. We watched the dress rehearsal today, and every time a very hard question was asked, the wisest character would always say that line. That's how I feel when trying to think about how to be missional, how to get out and live my faith for more than just me.
It's a difficult question Lord. Let me just bring to You the reasons why it is so brain numbing. Number one, and admittedly this is inexcusable, there is the issue of my personality. Pretty introverted, pretty shy with others, take a long time to develop a relationship with other people, therefore don't have many "acquaintances" with anybody other than those I work with. Well, of course there are the friendships that I already have. Strong friendships that I believe I am already living missionally within. How and where do I meet new people? Do I just start walking the roads of the town? Where do I even find people with needs? And if I find them, how do I overcome my uncomfortability to even talk to them?
I mean, Lord, I could just glance over that. But it's a big issue! It makes me not want to meet anybody. Give me a room to paint, a roof to fix, some kids to play with, I'm fine. But ask me to talk and interact with numerous adults in different situations? Awkward.
And worse, I don't even know what You can do about it! I'm not trying to be a jerk here, just honest. I don't believe that You could actually make me comfortable in those situations. Maybe because I don't believe You'd change my personality, maybe because I don't think You want me to be comfortable. You want me to grow. Of course, I wish You could make me grow while I simply sit at home reading Eugene Petereson, the Bible, and watching soccer. But I'm convicted that I must be doing...
So the second thing that makes it so hard is following the example of Christ. I know that I should be like You when You walked the earth, so checking the gospels I find that You were going out to people and helping them. So what were You doing, maybe I can do that! Well, in reading today from Matthew You had healed a man who was paralyzed, forgiven sins, ate dinner with sinners, healed a woman with bleeding, raised a girl from the dead, made a blind man see and drove a demon out of a man.
Excellent. Healing (uh no, I don't think I'll be doing that). Forgiving sins (um...). Raising people from the dead (wow.) Giving people back their lost senses. Finally confronted demonic spirits (yipes!) The only thing from that list that seems remotely plausible is eating with sinners, and trust me, my mind is trying to think of every excuse possible to say no way.
Well, maybe You ask us to do differently? Not to be exactly like You? You don't expect Your disciples to have exactly the same power, I'm sure of it. That's why in Matthew 11:8 You say to Your disciples, "Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those who have leprosy, drive out demons." Oh right, exactly what You just did (and You took out the almost do-able part about eating with sinners, and just left the impossible).
So where does that leave being missional in the way that Jesus is missional. Well, maybe its not about exact imitation, maybe it is about the way that we go about it. Or maybe I need to be healing people. I don't want to just gloss over the New Testament commands, but then again, these things seem unbelievably difficult. So how do we wrestle with this? Lord where do we come out?
And the answer to your question is...
Friday, April 27, 2007
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Waiting, Waiting
- Psalms 133-136
- Luke 8
- Matthew 13
"I wait for the LORD, my soul waits,
and in his word I put my hope.
My soul waits for the Lord
more than watchmen wait for the morning,
more than watchmen wait for the morning."
My life is full of situations that are too big for me to control. Planting a church, hoping for more students to enroll at 6th grade so that my job description will change to teaching more Bible, praying that my wife feels well when she is not, hoping that God will speak to the whole of the Exodus Community and that we would all be moving in the same direction. I mean, these are some specifics and I could list a whole lot more.
Just an interesting connection from the other day then when I read this passage in Psalms. The other day I read a passage about the watchmen guard in vain if the Lord was not watching with him. Now we see that the psalmist in this verse is waiting for the Lord more than the watchmen waits for the morning.
My question, Lord, is this: What if the watchmen is waiting for You? What if he is standing there on guard, but at the same time waiting for You? His watch is in vain, but it is because You haven't shown up yet. He can't leave his watch, he can't simply leave and go home and sleep, he'd lose is job and might not be able to give any type of warning against intruders or whatever else he's watching for.
So the question is, it's in vain to go on without You or ahead of You, then what do we do while we wait?
There are some places that I feel like I/we need to feel Your power become more evident.
- In funding for the church, for Exodus Community
- In moving people's spirits to be a part of Exodus Community
- In preparing us for the realities of Exodus Community
- In helping Courtney and I, Bryan and Kim, Joel and Jackie, Andy and Julie deal with the financial realities of church-planting
- In hearing Your will
I am waiting for Your answers, Your instructions, even Your questions. I am waiting for You to provide. But I don't know what to do while I wait.
But You've shown me. What does the watchmen do? He hopes for the morning. He waits expectantly for the breaking of dawn, for the dawn means You have just delivered him through another night.
May I wait on You in hope. May my day be filled with the promise of morning, and may that promise of light become evident to all. Blessed are You, Lord God of the morning, who sends the dawn of deliverance at the exact time it is needed most. I see Your power on the horizon and may I calmly await its full coming, in praise and in wonder. Amen.
- Luke 8
- Matthew 13
"I wait for the LORD, my soul waits,
and in his word I put my hope.
My soul waits for the Lord
more than watchmen wait for the morning,
more than watchmen wait for the morning."
My life is full of situations that are too big for me to control. Planting a church, hoping for more students to enroll at 6th grade so that my job description will change to teaching more Bible, praying that my wife feels well when she is not, hoping that God will speak to the whole of the Exodus Community and that we would all be moving in the same direction. I mean, these are some specifics and I could list a whole lot more.
Just an interesting connection from the other day then when I read this passage in Psalms. The other day I read a passage about the watchmen guard in vain if the Lord was not watching with him. Now we see that the psalmist in this verse is waiting for the Lord more than the watchmen waits for the morning.
My question, Lord, is this: What if the watchmen is waiting for You? What if he is standing there on guard, but at the same time waiting for You? His watch is in vain, but it is because You haven't shown up yet. He can't leave his watch, he can't simply leave and go home and sleep, he'd lose is job and might not be able to give any type of warning against intruders or whatever else he's watching for.
So the question is, it's in vain to go on without You or ahead of You, then what do we do while we wait?
There are some places that I feel like I/we need to feel Your power become more evident.
- In funding for the church, for Exodus Community
- In moving people's spirits to be a part of Exodus Community
- In preparing us for the realities of Exodus Community
- In helping Courtney and I, Bryan and Kim, Joel and Jackie, Andy and Julie deal with the financial realities of church-planting
- In hearing Your will
I am waiting for Your answers, Your instructions, even Your questions. I am waiting for You to provide. But I don't know what to do while I wait.
But You've shown me. What does the watchmen do? He hopes for the morning. He waits expectantly for the breaking of dawn, for the dawn means You have just delivered him through another night.
May I wait on You in hope. May my day be filled with the promise of morning, and may that promise of light become evident to all. Blessed are You, Lord God of the morning, who sends the dawn of deliverance at the exact time it is needed most. I see Your power on the horizon and may I calmly await its full coming, in praise and in wonder. Amen.
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Living Truth
Texts:
- Psalms 129-132
- Luke 11
- Matthew 12:22-50
"I AM the way, THE TRUTH, and the life."
"But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken."
First of all Lord, whoa! It's more than scary that I'm going to have to explain myself for all the simply careless things that I've said, let alone the purposely hurtful and the bitingly sarcastic speech that was blatantly sinful. I think again that this shows us how much You care about the details of life, the way we live life, as much as the whole. It's another paradox, one of the many that keep shoveling the mystery of You into my daily life, that You care about details but and the same time are as deeply concerned about the big picture.
I mean, we see this all over the Old Testament (meticulous rules and regulations for sacrifice and approaching God, then at the same time having the prophets say that You desire mercy, not sacrifice.) It's just interesting to see the same type of thought translated to the New Testament (that the two commandments to live are to love God and love others, but at the same time You are concerned with every word that leaves our lips, or fingertips.)
That's amazing in itself, but that's not the whole of what jumped out to me. A couple days ago I wrote about the way that we live. Part of the way that we live is the way that we speak, and how our life matches up with that speech. Well, I'm not always the best at this, but I'd say that Jesus recommends the way we speak and live is in truth.
There's not any shock in this Lord, the shock sets in when I realize how much I don't speak and live in the truth. I often speak and live in the half-truth. The statements that will affect other people the way I want them to be instead of the entire truth. For example, I had an interview today with a college professor for entrance into his college's Masters of Theological Studies program. He was very excited today about a class he'll be teaching next year, to all the non-biblical studies majors. He kept on talking about it as an evangelism opportunity.
I thought he was crazy. He's on an evangelical campus. 75% of the students are evangelical, and I'd guess darn near 98.6% have heard about You. But when he asked me if that was exciting, I said, "Yea, that sounds really great." Of course I didn't think that, but I said that because I wanted him to like me. Not a sin in and of itself. But, the real reason why I wanted him to like me was so he'd stamp approved on my application.
This is such a small example, it almost seems stupid. But as I sit back and think about not really feeling bad about it, well, that's scary. We've gotten to a point in society where slight untruth doesn't make us uncomfortable. Where slight lies are acceptable! Especially when we know that no one will be hurt and no one will even find out. It disgusts me to look over my life and see how often my words are dishonest. Or to put it in Your words, much of my speak is simply careless.
I guess part of finding my way is to start probing the edges of what You mean by truth. And what will it mean to live in truth? And what do You mean when You say You are the truth? That Your way is the truth which leads to the life? More than that...less? Remove untruth from my willful mind, empty my way of lies, and replace it with life.
- Psalms 129-132
- Luke 11
- Matthew 12:22-50
"I AM the way, THE TRUTH, and the life."
"But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken."
First of all Lord, whoa! It's more than scary that I'm going to have to explain myself for all the simply careless things that I've said, let alone the purposely hurtful and the bitingly sarcastic speech that was blatantly sinful. I think again that this shows us how much You care about the details of life, the way we live life, as much as the whole. It's another paradox, one of the many that keep shoveling the mystery of You into my daily life, that You care about details but and the same time are as deeply concerned about the big picture.
I mean, we see this all over the Old Testament (meticulous rules and regulations for sacrifice and approaching God, then at the same time having the prophets say that You desire mercy, not sacrifice.) It's just interesting to see the same type of thought translated to the New Testament (that the two commandments to live are to love God and love others, but at the same time You are concerned with every word that leaves our lips, or fingertips.)
That's amazing in itself, but that's not the whole of what jumped out to me. A couple days ago I wrote about the way that we live. Part of the way that we live is the way that we speak, and how our life matches up with that speech. Well, I'm not always the best at this, but I'd say that Jesus recommends the way we speak and live is in truth.
There's not any shock in this Lord, the shock sets in when I realize how much I don't speak and live in the truth. I often speak and live in the half-truth. The statements that will affect other people the way I want them to be instead of the entire truth. For example, I had an interview today with a college professor for entrance into his college's Masters of Theological Studies program. He was very excited today about a class he'll be teaching next year, to all the non-biblical studies majors. He kept on talking about it as an evangelism opportunity.
I thought he was crazy. He's on an evangelical campus. 75% of the students are evangelical, and I'd guess darn near 98.6% have heard about You. But when he asked me if that was exciting, I said, "Yea, that sounds really great." Of course I didn't think that, but I said that because I wanted him to like me. Not a sin in and of itself. But, the real reason why I wanted him to like me was so he'd stamp approved on my application.
This is such a small example, it almost seems stupid. But as I sit back and think about not really feeling bad about it, well, that's scary. We've gotten to a point in society where slight untruth doesn't make us uncomfortable. Where slight lies are acceptable! Especially when we know that no one will be hurt and no one will even find out. It disgusts me to look over my life and see how often my words are dishonest. Or to put it in Your words, much of my speak is simply careless.
I guess part of finding my way is to start probing the edges of what You mean by truth. And what will it mean to live in truth? And what do You mean when You say You are the truth? That Your way is the truth which leads to the life? More than that...less? Remove untruth from my willful mind, empty my way of lies, and replace it with life.
Monday, April 23, 2007
Replacing Worry
Texts:
- Psalms 125-128
- Matthew 11
"Unless the LORD builds the house, its builders labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain. In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat - for he grants sleep to those he loves."
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."
Lord, I could always use rest. But that's been established many times before as I have written You. What is interesting to me in these verses, that just kind of jumped off the page to me, is that its not just rest from stress of life. Its rest from even the good things that we are building.
Is it not good for someone to build a house, or stand watch over a city? Of course it is, these things are very necessary for safety and for normal living. They are good. But there's the interesting added words to these good things, "unless the LORD."
I think these images of watchmen and builder are perfect for where I am right now. I often feel like I am a watchmen for this new community that we are beginning. I feel like I am protecting it, trying to keep it safe, trying to keep anything bad from happening. Truth is, most of the bad things that could happen in the community are far beyond my control. So the result for me is worry, then becoming weary and burdened.
Or the builder, trying to pursue avenues of growth. How can we find the support and money that we need to get where we want to go. How do you go about finalizing the building codes (or the details needed to be a recognized church)? Where will we get the materials? Who will help?
These questions, these worries, beyond my control. Like most of this life, beyond my control.
"Unless the LORD..." So how do we know if You are? Are You building the house with us, are You watching over the city? If You are, then what? Because we still have to help build, right? We still have to stand watch, right?
It all comes down to worry. It's strange, until we started thinking and really building this community, I wasn't much of a worrier or someone who panicked. I have felt that way at different times in this process, even now as I type. Worry has somehow become a part of my life. I don't like it, it doesn't feel like me.
I want to be the optimistic, "It will all work out," faithful person that I've been in the past. When people tell me that You are going to bless what we're doing, I want to be able to say thanks to them and really believe it in my heart. Basically, I want You to continue to take control away from us.
Saturday I talked about how we walk on the road towards You. Right now, and often lately, I have been walking with worry. Empty my road of worry, replace it with a comfort and restful sense of Your control. Amen.
- Psalms 125-128
- Matthew 11
"Unless the LORD builds the house, its builders labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain. In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat - for he grants sleep to those he loves."
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."
Lord, I could always use rest. But that's been established many times before as I have written You. What is interesting to me in these verses, that just kind of jumped off the page to me, is that its not just rest from stress of life. Its rest from even the good things that we are building.
Is it not good for someone to build a house, or stand watch over a city? Of course it is, these things are very necessary for safety and for normal living. They are good. But there's the interesting added words to these good things, "unless the LORD."
I think these images of watchmen and builder are perfect for where I am right now. I often feel like I am a watchmen for this new community that we are beginning. I feel like I am protecting it, trying to keep it safe, trying to keep anything bad from happening. Truth is, most of the bad things that could happen in the community are far beyond my control. So the result for me is worry, then becoming weary and burdened.
Or the builder, trying to pursue avenues of growth. How can we find the support and money that we need to get where we want to go. How do you go about finalizing the building codes (or the details needed to be a recognized church)? Where will we get the materials? Who will help?
These questions, these worries, beyond my control. Like most of this life, beyond my control.
"Unless the LORD..." So how do we know if You are? Are You building the house with us, are You watching over the city? If You are, then what? Because we still have to help build, right? We still have to stand watch, right?
It all comes down to worry. It's strange, until we started thinking and really building this community, I wasn't much of a worrier or someone who panicked. I have felt that way at different times in this process, even now as I type. Worry has somehow become a part of my life. I don't like it, it doesn't feel like me.
I want to be the optimistic, "It will all work out," faithful person that I've been in the past. When people tell me that You are going to bless what we're doing, I want to be able to say thanks to them and really believe it in my heart. Basically, I want You to continue to take control away from us.
Saturday I talked about how we walk on the road towards You. Right now, and often lately, I have been walking with worry. Empty my road of worry, replace it with a comfort and restful sense of Your control. Amen.
Saturday, April 21, 2007
Emptying the Road
Texts:
- Psalm 119
- Matthew 5-7
"I am the way, the truth and the life."
When Jesus makes "I am" statements, I am drawn in close, I want to hear what he is going to say. "I am" defines who You are, and thus who I want to be. Or with more powerful words, "I am" defines what You could use me to be if I would empty myself of myself.
These phrase, "the way," "the truth," the life," they really hit me today. I am beginning to taste them in a new way as I continue to learn Your word, and read commentary on it by very intelligent and Spirit-led others. I want to slow and look at them one by one, take as much time as I can to feel the impact they have on me, where the hit and knock my breath away, and why. I want to ask questions, imagine myself living these out, come up with specific ways to see "I AM" in my walk, in my path, on my roads.
I AM the WAY.
The way is such a rich metaphor, as really has been broght to life to me by Eugene Peterson's book The Jesus Way. Often, this verse in the book of John is pointed to in order to prove that only those who believe in Jesus go to heaven, for You stated that "I am the way." I'm not going to start an argument about that for now, except that I've realized that that type of reduction of Scripture often steals the beauty out of it. And often the meaning is wrapped up tightly in the beauty.
So the way is also the way that we do things. The way I comb my hair (with only my fingers), the way I eat chocolate-chip cookies (with a glass of milk, but no dunking!), the way that I fall asleep (always on my side, always close to my wife), etc. So if You, God, are the way, maybe this means more about the way we are to live life. We are to live life as You would. With You in control. Only.
This has suddenly explained a lot to me. Especially about temptation and testing. There are many roads to travel and many different ways of traveling on these roads. But I often see life as one road. One road travels towards You, the other away from You. I'm not sure if that's true, but let's just assume for a minute. So for much of my life, every temptation that came my way I either passed or failed. If I stayed strong, then I was still traveling towards You. If I failed, then I must have turned around and started away from You.
This got me so depressed and remorseful and shamed. I would sulk for days and never really turn around. Just keep heading away from You. I failed, I picked sin or something worse, so now Your face was not upon and You were hard to even seek.
But wait, what if it's true (and I believe it is), that You also care about the way we are coming to You, the things we are carrying with us, the things that we can't give up, the things that we love, the things we give fear and reverence to instead of You? If You care about the way, then is it possible that temptations and tests that come our way are not just allowed to see if we are pursuing You, but are also to clarify and cleanse the way we are coming to You?
For example, I've often referenced one of the greatest tests in my life (that I think I passed) was when Courtney broke up with me. In my life at that time I was a committed follower of You, but also a committed follower of Courtney. We were walking down the road together, but it was the road towards You. I know this for sure. However, I also know that if Courtney would have turned, I probably would have turned with her. So a test.
How are You going to walk on my road, Matthew? Following me or following someone else. Whose way will You follow?
The test made me make a sacrifice, a sacrifice to empty my road of something. I had to choose to follow God's ways, the first of which is simple. "Hear O Israel, the Lord, the Lord God, is one. You shall have no other gods before me." I could not be on the road to You following my own god's (Courtney's) way.
This may all seem like semantics, in a sense it is Lord. But it helps me deal with the root of temptations and tests. They are cleansing and clarifying exercises, a way to see if we are doing things Your way on the way to You.
Now I have begun to see the many different flavors of Your way. Help me to continue to think in the way You want, to desire the things You want, and to follow only You on my way.
- Psalm 119
- Matthew 5-7
"I am the way, the truth and the life."
When Jesus makes "I am" statements, I am drawn in close, I want to hear what he is going to say. "I am" defines who You are, and thus who I want to be. Or with more powerful words, "I am" defines what You could use me to be if I would empty myself of myself.
These phrase, "the way," "the truth," the life," they really hit me today. I am beginning to taste them in a new way as I continue to learn Your word, and read commentary on it by very intelligent and Spirit-led others. I want to slow and look at them one by one, take as much time as I can to feel the impact they have on me, where the hit and knock my breath away, and why. I want to ask questions, imagine myself living these out, come up with specific ways to see "I AM" in my walk, in my path, on my roads.
I AM the WAY.
The way is such a rich metaphor, as really has been broght to life to me by Eugene Peterson's book The Jesus Way. Often, this verse in the book of John is pointed to in order to prove that only those who believe in Jesus go to heaven, for You stated that "I am the way." I'm not going to start an argument about that for now, except that I've realized that that type of reduction of Scripture often steals the beauty out of it. And often the meaning is wrapped up tightly in the beauty.
So the way is also the way that we do things. The way I comb my hair (with only my fingers), the way I eat chocolate-chip cookies (with a glass of milk, but no dunking!), the way that I fall asleep (always on my side, always close to my wife), etc. So if You, God, are the way, maybe this means more about the way we are to live life. We are to live life as You would. With You in control. Only.
This has suddenly explained a lot to me. Especially about temptation and testing. There are many roads to travel and many different ways of traveling on these roads. But I often see life as one road. One road travels towards You, the other away from You. I'm not sure if that's true, but let's just assume for a minute. So for much of my life, every temptation that came my way I either passed or failed. If I stayed strong, then I was still traveling towards You. If I failed, then I must have turned around and started away from You.
This got me so depressed and remorseful and shamed. I would sulk for days and never really turn around. Just keep heading away from You. I failed, I picked sin or something worse, so now Your face was not upon and You were hard to even seek.
But wait, what if it's true (and I believe it is), that You also care about the way we are coming to You, the things we are carrying with us, the things that we can't give up, the things that we love, the things we give fear and reverence to instead of You? If You care about the way, then is it possible that temptations and tests that come our way are not just allowed to see if we are pursuing You, but are also to clarify and cleanse the way we are coming to You?
For example, I've often referenced one of the greatest tests in my life (that I think I passed) was when Courtney broke up with me. In my life at that time I was a committed follower of You, but also a committed follower of Courtney. We were walking down the road together, but it was the road towards You. I know this for sure. However, I also know that if Courtney would have turned, I probably would have turned with her. So a test.
How are You going to walk on my road, Matthew? Following me or following someone else. Whose way will You follow?
The test made me make a sacrifice, a sacrifice to empty my road of something. I had to choose to follow God's ways, the first of which is simple. "Hear O Israel, the Lord, the Lord God, is one. You shall have no other gods before me." I could not be on the road to You following my own god's (Courtney's) way.
This may all seem like semantics, in a sense it is Lord. But it helps me deal with the root of temptations and tests. They are cleansing and clarifying exercises, a way to see if we are doing things Your way on the way to You.
Now I have begun to see the many different flavors of Your way. Help me to continue to think in the way You want, to desire the things You want, and to follow only You on my way.
Friday, April 20, 2007
The Son of Man is Lord of...
Texts:
- Psalms 117-118
- Mark 3
- Luke 6
- Matthew 12:1-21
"The Son of Man is Lord of the Sabbath."
A simple statement of Yours. Now, I could go the whole route of wondering if I am really letting You be Lord of my Sabbath days, which would be a good question. But instead, this statement makes me wonder, what else would You make this statement about?
In other words, the Son of Man is Lord of the Classroom. Lord, as I gave things up to You yesterday I started to realize how poorly I treat some things in my life. Especially when I'm overwhelmed. I've been approaching my classroom with a very negative and frustrated attitude. I'm sure that this is exceedingly evident to the students as well. What if You became my Lord of the Classroom? What would that look like? As I give it up to You again this morning, my prayer is that You show me the proper response to Your control. That You lead me in action, thought, and word.
I notice that You are always ready to serve people, in the text that I read today it is repeatedly mentioned that You went to get away from everyone, but they all followed because they wanted to be healed. You didn't sulk, moan, and tell them to leave You alone. Instead, You healed all the broken and sick. I wish there were verses about how You dealt with the frustration of not having time to Yourself. I deal with that alot. I have very little time to myself in the classroom or at home, and I get annoyed and stressed by it. Maybe because I'm selfish, maybe because it really is a necessity, I don't know.
The bottom line is that in being Lord of things, You always had Your priorities set. It's pretty obvious when reading through the gospels that Your priorities were to do the will of the Father first, then heal and teach others, then worry about what the Law has to say, and lastly was to attend to Yourself. I wonder what this made You cut out of Your schedule? That's where I am, there may be things I need to cut out of my schedule in order to serve my other priorities correctly. Teach me what those are, I am willing to lay them down...
I love You, so please be active in being the Lord of My Life today. Be Lord of My Words, and Lord of My Attitude. Be with me.
- Psalms 117-118
- Mark 3
- Luke 6
- Matthew 12:1-21
"The Son of Man is Lord of the Sabbath."
A simple statement of Yours. Now, I could go the whole route of wondering if I am really letting You be Lord of my Sabbath days, which would be a good question. But instead, this statement makes me wonder, what else would You make this statement about?
In other words, the Son of Man is Lord of the Classroom. Lord, as I gave things up to You yesterday I started to realize how poorly I treat some things in my life. Especially when I'm overwhelmed. I've been approaching my classroom with a very negative and frustrated attitude. I'm sure that this is exceedingly evident to the students as well. What if You became my Lord of the Classroom? What would that look like? As I give it up to You again this morning, my prayer is that You show me the proper response to Your control. That You lead me in action, thought, and word.
I notice that You are always ready to serve people, in the text that I read today it is repeatedly mentioned that You went to get away from everyone, but they all followed because they wanted to be healed. You didn't sulk, moan, and tell them to leave You alone. Instead, You healed all the broken and sick. I wish there were verses about how You dealt with the frustration of not having time to Yourself. I deal with that alot. I have very little time to myself in the classroom or at home, and I get annoyed and stressed by it. Maybe because I'm selfish, maybe because it really is a necessity, I don't know.
The bottom line is that in being Lord of things, You always had Your priorities set. It's pretty obvious when reading through the gospels that Your priorities were to do the will of the Father first, then heal and teach others, then worry about what the Law has to say, and lastly was to attend to Yourself. I wonder what this made You cut out of Your schedule? That's where I am, there may be things I need to cut out of my schedule in order to serve my other priorities correctly. Teach me what those are, I am willing to lay them down...
I love You, so please be active in being the Lord of My Life today. Be Lord of My Words, and Lord of My Attitude. Be with me.
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Laying Down My Blessings
Texts:
- Psalms 113-116
- John 5
Sometimes You bless me in enormous ways. "I love the Lord, for he heard my voice." Indeed Lord, I love You for the times that You have heard me call.
In the midst of our forty days of prayer, praying for the courage to take the next step towards ministry, I suddenly receive a call from my wife who has heard from You and is filled with courage and encouragement. I remember back to searching for the right job out of school, how You showed up right on the day that I needed You to. The exact day and the exact hour that I needed to make a decision! I remember all the way back to college, when Courtney broke up with me, that after I had finally laid it all into Your hands, cried my eyes out and given up that You spoke to her to come back to me.
More times than this even. But it seems to me that it is when I sacrifice the good things in my life that You speak the most. When I gave up food, their You were working through the Word to sustain me, to excite me. When I gave my relationship with Courtney over to You, to lead and to protect, there You were giving it back to me.
How do we find out if the blessings in our path are from You or distractions to move us away? We lay them down. We put them back upon the altar and say, "As great as these things all are, I want You. I want Your will." So Lord, I'm loading the altar this afternoon with all my stuff. All the great things that You've given me. All the things that may need to be given up to stay on Your path.
- My job. I've been wanting it to work out for me to stay here and teach Bible only. Maybe that's not the path at all. Maybe I shouldn't even be here at all. That's hard to say with a wife that doesn't have a job either. But I'm not making any decisions. I'm just saying, I'm willing. If this job must be left for You, then thank You for the opportunity You provided. This situation is now in Your hands.
- My role with Exodus Community. Leadership is a stewardship, I will be held accountable, and it is temporary. If it is time for me to step aside and let someone else take a lead role, I just want to establish that You are in control. This is not my thing, it is Yours. Move it along as You see fit, with or without me leading the way. Because I don't it to move in my way, I walk us to journey on Your way.
- This blog. It's been fun and encouraging, but sometimes burdening and selfish. Sometimes I've wanted people to comment about how brilliant I am. No, I want people to see You. So if this needs to become private I'm willing. Here I am, speak to me.
- Anything you want to take Lord, and I do mean anything, I am willing to lay it down. You are the source of all blessing, I want to walk with the one who gives, not the stuff You give.
Thank You again, Lord of Lords, King of Kings, Giver of blessing and life. My love for You is sprung anew in sacrifice. Speak clearly, for I am willing to hear. Amen.
- Psalms 113-116
- John 5
Sometimes You bless me in enormous ways. "I love the Lord, for he heard my voice." Indeed Lord, I love You for the times that You have heard me call.
In the midst of our forty days of prayer, praying for the courage to take the next step towards ministry, I suddenly receive a call from my wife who has heard from You and is filled with courage and encouragement. I remember back to searching for the right job out of school, how You showed up right on the day that I needed You to. The exact day and the exact hour that I needed to make a decision! I remember all the way back to college, when Courtney broke up with me, that after I had finally laid it all into Your hands, cried my eyes out and given up that You spoke to her to come back to me.
More times than this even. But it seems to me that it is when I sacrifice the good things in my life that You speak the most. When I gave up food, their You were working through the Word to sustain me, to excite me. When I gave my relationship with Courtney over to You, to lead and to protect, there You were giving it back to me.
How do we find out if the blessings in our path are from You or distractions to move us away? We lay them down. We put them back upon the altar and say, "As great as these things all are, I want You. I want Your will." So Lord, I'm loading the altar this afternoon with all my stuff. All the great things that You've given me. All the things that may need to be given up to stay on Your path.
- My job. I've been wanting it to work out for me to stay here and teach Bible only. Maybe that's not the path at all. Maybe I shouldn't even be here at all. That's hard to say with a wife that doesn't have a job either. But I'm not making any decisions. I'm just saying, I'm willing. If this job must be left for You, then thank You for the opportunity You provided. This situation is now in Your hands.
- My role with Exodus Community. Leadership is a stewardship, I will be held accountable, and it is temporary. If it is time for me to step aside and let someone else take a lead role, I just want to establish that You are in control. This is not my thing, it is Yours. Move it along as You see fit, with or without me leading the way. Because I don't it to move in my way, I walk us to journey on Your way.
- This blog. It's been fun and encouraging, but sometimes burdening and selfish. Sometimes I've wanted people to comment about how brilliant I am. No, I want people to see You. So if this needs to become private I'm willing. Here I am, speak to me.
- Anything you want to take Lord, and I do mean anything, I am willing to lay it down. You are the source of all blessing, I want to walk with the one who gives, not the stuff You give.
Thank You again, Lord of Lords, King of Kings, Giver of blessing and life. My love for You is sprung anew in sacrifice. Speak clearly, for I am willing to hear. Amen.
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
The Desparate Stress
Texts:
- Psalms 109-112
- Luke 19-20
- Mark 2
Lord, often times when I come to You lately, I feel an ache within my body. It's familiar. It's the same one that I get when I can't finish a poem in a way that sounds right, the one that I got when a paper was due in 30 minutes at college and I couldn't get the right last paragraph, the one that I get when class starts in 5 minutes and I have no idea what I'm going to teach. It's stress. I cannot believe it, but I've been coming to You and instead of rest I've been feeling stressed.
I know why too. I've been feeling like every time we get together I MUST walk away with something new. I've gotten so used to You amazing me, that I expect it and I'm beginning to think that I have something to do with it. If a text doesn't come to life immediately I'm re-reading and thinking, "There's got to be something here I can make a connection with, I just need to try harder." I'm trying to do it all, I'm coming to Your word hoping that I can find something. All this emphasis on I hasn't even really worked, it's just thrown me into the desparate stress.
It's just so easy to forget that You are the one who really opens Scripture to me, You are the one who makes the connections fly off the page, that has brilliant insight marked brightly for me to see. You are the one that I need to seek with excitement and wonder. That's hard to do with a heart full of stress and a mind bogged down by what needs to be done.
Lord, simply open up some Scripture for me today in a way that makes me praise. I have found that You are good for the past several days, but those realizations have come from events other than revelation from Scripture. I would love that to continue, for that is mighty good reason to praise as well, but I still want to see You in Your word.
I praise You, Lord God of word and deed, continue to bring Your word and deed together in my life and before my eyes and ears.
- Psalms 109-112
- Luke 19-20
- Mark 2
Lord, often times when I come to You lately, I feel an ache within my body. It's familiar. It's the same one that I get when I can't finish a poem in a way that sounds right, the one that I got when a paper was due in 30 minutes at college and I couldn't get the right last paragraph, the one that I get when class starts in 5 minutes and I have no idea what I'm going to teach. It's stress. I cannot believe it, but I've been coming to You and instead of rest I've been feeling stressed.
I know why too. I've been feeling like every time we get together I MUST walk away with something new. I've gotten so used to You amazing me, that I expect it and I'm beginning to think that I have something to do with it. If a text doesn't come to life immediately I'm re-reading and thinking, "There's got to be something here I can make a connection with, I just need to try harder." I'm trying to do it all, I'm coming to Your word hoping that I can find something. All this emphasis on I hasn't even really worked, it's just thrown me into the desparate stress.
It's just so easy to forget that You are the one who really opens Scripture to me, You are the one who makes the connections fly off the page, that has brilliant insight marked brightly for me to see. You are the one that I need to seek with excitement and wonder. That's hard to do with a heart full of stress and a mind bogged down by what needs to be done.
Lord, simply open up some Scripture for me today in a way that makes me praise. I have found that You are good for the past several days, but those realizations have come from events other than revelation from Scripture. I would love that to continue, for that is mighty good reason to praise as well, but I still want to see You in Your word.
I praise You, Lord God of word and deed, continue to bring Your word and deed together in my life and before my eyes and ears.
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Hear and Act
Texts:
- Psalms 105-108
- Luke 17-18
- John 1:15-51
- Matthew 4
- Luke 4-5
- John 2-4
Lord God, as we sat around last night, weighing big questions in our hearts and examining them through the lens of Scripture, an idea really began to emerge to me. An idea of salvation, a life lived in salvation, a life lived to bring salvation. But it is so big, like all good things coming from You, it is so vast that it is difficult for me to even wrap my arms around it. And now that I've begun thinking about it, I am seeing it in many places throughout Scripture.
The real pattern seems to be that You deliver us, place us into a community of health and truth, and at this point we "know that You are God." We know because we see that You know us. You have heard our individual cries and have acted accordingly. I look all across my life and see the number of times that You have heard and acted and it makes me stop and praise.
- I remember very vividly when I cried out to You in college regarding Courtney. She had broken up with me and I was devastated and lonely. Besides just crying out in pain, my final cry or request was that You would simply be the most important thing in my life, and under that structure that You could bring me out of my loneliness. The day I made that concession Courtney was on the phone with me, getting back together under this new priority set, and You had delivered me.
- I remember how You've acted and are acting in the lives of others, as I have been crying out for them. My uncle, my grandfather, my brother, my sister, my wife (and that is an amazing, recent story), and so many others.
Lord, You hear and act. They go together. They make up the root of knowledge. For me to truly know You I must hear and act. It is the proper response to all You have done for me. So let it be so today.
May I act in a way that lives out all I have heard through Your word. May You be an ever-present light showing me my vast wealth of opportunities. Blessed are You, Lord God of action, moving in response to our prayerful words. May we move in response to Your eternal word and the stirrings of Your Spirit within us. Amen.
- Psalms 105-108
- Luke 17-18
- John 1:15-51
- Matthew 4
- Luke 4-5
- John 2-4
Lord God, as we sat around last night, weighing big questions in our hearts and examining them through the lens of Scripture, an idea really began to emerge to me. An idea of salvation, a life lived in salvation, a life lived to bring salvation. But it is so big, like all good things coming from You, it is so vast that it is difficult for me to even wrap my arms around it. And now that I've begun thinking about it, I am seeing it in many places throughout Scripture.
The real pattern seems to be that You deliver us, place us into a community of health and truth, and at this point we "know that You are God." We know because we see that You know us. You have heard our individual cries and have acted accordingly. I look all across my life and see the number of times that You have heard and acted and it makes me stop and praise.
- I remember very vividly when I cried out to You in college regarding Courtney. She had broken up with me and I was devastated and lonely. Besides just crying out in pain, my final cry or request was that You would simply be the most important thing in my life, and under that structure that You could bring me out of my loneliness. The day I made that concession Courtney was on the phone with me, getting back together under this new priority set, and You had delivered me.
- I remember how You've acted and are acting in the lives of others, as I have been crying out for them. My uncle, my grandfather, my brother, my sister, my wife (and that is an amazing, recent story), and so many others.
Lord, You hear and act. They go together. They make up the root of knowledge. For me to truly know You I must hear and act. It is the proper response to all You have done for me. So let it be so today.
May I act in a way that lives out all I have heard through Your word. May You be an ever-present light showing me my vast wealth of opportunities. Blessed are You, Lord God of action, moving in response to our prayerful words. May we move in response to Your eternal word and the stirrings of Your Spirit within us. Amen.
Saturday, April 14, 2007
Two Extremes
Texts:
- Psalms 97-100
- Luke 13-14
- Matthew 2, Luke 2:39-52
Lord God, I have so many things on my mind, all the time. It becomes tough to pull out one hour in the morning to focus them on You. Help me to do that this morning, to take some silent time and really hone in on Your voice and Your call. What are You saying to me?
The Scriptures that I read today dealt with praising You for You are set above the nations, high and mighty and working salvation with Your strong hand. Then I turn to Matthew and Your earthly parents were wrapping You up tight and fleeing to Egypt because Herod was literally going to kill You. Such might and awe and wonder to such fear and weakness and avoidance. God the unchangable, but certainly You always exist in ways that don't make much sense.
Of course, isn't my life really like that? Lived in two extremes? There are all the things that I know and want to do for You, for my wife, my friends, myself, etc. Then there are all the desires for detrimental or inconsequential things. I sit at my computer and write my blog, rolling around ideas of salvation and awe and wonder, then click over to my email, see the woman on the sidebar advertisement and suddenly become a person in fear, weakness, and avoidance. Strength to weakness in a matter of moments.
The shocking thing I think is that You don't change this process. Being right with You doesn't mean I will live in perpetual strength. In fact, it guarantees that I'll go through lengthy times of weakness, where You show Your strength in my life by being the only thing I can rely on. I think that is a mis-taught point in many Christian congregations today. When God's strength comes into my life, it does not in any way mean that I will be strong all the time. It just means that I will now have companionship and the hope of deliverance when I am invetibly weak.
Lord God, may You ever shorten my moments of weakness and ever strengthen my ability to run. May You stand between the two extremes for my and guide my transition, keep me humble in times of strength and hopeful in times of weakness. Blessed are You, Lord God of mighty hand and humble cross, for You walked the life of humanity, were exalted and were beaten down. May my lips ever praise You Jesus, for walking through it all so You can walk through it with us. Amen.
- Psalms 97-100
- Luke 13-14
- Matthew 2, Luke 2:39-52
Lord God, I have so many things on my mind, all the time. It becomes tough to pull out one hour in the morning to focus them on You. Help me to do that this morning, to take some silent time and really hone in on Your voice and Your call. What are You saying to me?
The Scriptures that I read today dealt with praising You for You are set above the nations, high and mighty and working salvation with Your strong hand. Then I turn to Matthew and Your earthly parents were wrapping You up tight and fleeing to Egypt because Herod was literally going to kill You. Such might and awe and wonder to such fear and weakness and avoidance. God the unchangable, but certainly You always exist in ways that don't make much sense.
Of course, isn't my life really like that? Lived in two extremes? There are all the things that I know and want to do for You, for my wife, my friends, myself, etc. Then there are all the desires for detrimental or inconsequential things. I sit at my computer and write my blog, rolling around ideas of salvation and awe and wonder, then click over to my email, see the woman on the sidebar advertisement and suddenly become a person in fear, weakness, and avoidance. Strength to weakness in a matter of moments.
The shocking thing I think is that You don't change this process. Being right with You doesn't mean I will live in perpetual strength. In fact, it guarantees that I'll go through lengthy times of weakness, where You show Your strength in my life by being the only thing I can rely on. I think that is a mis-taught point in many Christian congregations today. When God's strength comes into my life, it does not in any way mean that I will be strong all the time. It just means that I will now have companionship and the hope of deliverance when I am invetibly weak.
Lord God, may You ever shorten my moments of weakness and ever strengthen my ability to run. May You stand between the two extremes for my and guide my transition, keep me humble in times of strength and hopeful in times of weakness. Blessed are You, Lord God of mighty hand and humble cross, for You walked the life of humanity, were exalted and were beaten down. May my lips ever praise You Jesus, for walking through it all so You can walk through it with us. Amen.
Friday, April 13, 2007
You are My Praise
Texts:
- Psalms 93-96
- Luke 11-12
- Matthew 1, Luke 2:1-38
Lord, You came through yesterday and gave me mighty reasons to praise throughout the day. Certainly, lessons went well at school, especially in Bible class on a very difficult topic, I finally feel fairly well rested, and my wife is wonderful. And more! I still struggle though against the seeming callousness of my heart to give You praise. I have this aversion to sounding trite or repetitive, like all my prayers must be creative or something. It's hard because even as I know that this is wrong it's still hard for me to change that attitude. So You change that attitude and deliver me from hardness of heart and trivial concerns. You are my God and You deserve more praise than a "thousand lifetimes could explain, if all the the trees of forests were pens and all the oceans ink."
Interesting connection this morning as well as I read Psalm 95. The beginning of the psalm is exorting the people to praise the Lord, for You are God and we are Your people. Then it says "Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts..." Apparently, lack of praise happens when hearts become cold, hard, and dismissive. Or even more telling, when hearts become selfish. The next part of the psalm says that the Israelites hearts were hard, and thus not able to worship, at Meribah and Massah. These were the places where the protested to Moses to bring them water, for God was not looking after them. They became unfocused on the greatness of God and instead became focused on the greatness of their needs.
Sound familiar Lord? It sure does to me. Who is the one who has been sitting around whining about how stressed he's been because of all that is on his plate, not sure which direction to go next? Who has been so focused on getting the next thing done that he hasn't even had time to really think about what You would have him do? Oh, right that is me.
And talk about stress coming from that. The mind-blowing last line of the psalm addresses what happens when we harden our hearts, let our problems become bigger than our Lord: "They shall never enter my rest."
Wow. I mean, that's exactly what I've been concerned about. That's been one of the problems I've been focused on instead of You. And now I see why I haven't felt Your rest at all over the last few weeks. It's simply my lack of praise, my lack of worship, my lack of awe, my lack of fear, my lack of right relationship with You.
So restoration. Let's get us back on track Lord Jesus. Start with my heart, soften it. Allow my breath to be that of praise again today. You are mighty, and have answered prayer in mighty ways. You are the amazing one who comes to deliver me in the perfect time, in the perfect way. I want to be restored to my proper fear-of-the-Lord, knowledge that You can deal rightly with all in my life. Restore me to that! And I know that You will...
Today, may Your face shine upon me and may I respond with proper joy and praise. May I continue to see Your wonders poured out upon me in the normal, without going above and beyond what's expected, because You have already gone so far above and beyond in answering my prayers. Blessed are You, Lord God, my Praise, for the breath of life that creates and protects and sustains. Lord God, my Salvation, I praise You for creation, and I ask that You continue to protect and sustain. For this, and in anticipation of Your answer, I breathe in joy and thankfulness every moment today. Amen.
- Psalms 93-96
- Luke 11-12
- Matthew 1, Luke 2:1-38
Lord, You came through yesterday and gave me mighty reasons to praise throughout the day. Certainly, lessons went well at school, especially in Bible class on a very difficult topic, I finally feel fairly well rested, and my wife is wonderful. And more! I still struggle though against the seeming callousness of my heart to give You praise. I have this aversion to sounding trite or repetitive, like all my prayers must be creative or something. It's hard because even as I know that this is wrong it's still hard for me to change that attitude. So You change that attitude and deliver me from hardness of heart and trivial concerns. You are my God and You deserve more praise than a "thousand lifetimes could explain, if all the the trees of forests were pens and all the oceans ink."
Interesting connection this morning as well as I read Psalm 95. The beginning of the psalm is exorting the people to praise the Lord, for You are God and we are Your people. Then it says "Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts..." Apparently, lack of praise happens when hearts become cold, hard, and dismissive. Or even more telling, when hearts become selfish. The next part of the psalm says that the Israelites hearts were hard, and thus not able to worship, at Meribah and Massah. These were the places where the protested to Moses to bring them water, for God was not looking after them. They became unfocused on the greatness of God and instead became focused on the greatness of their needs.
Sound familiar Lord? It sure does to me. Who is the one who has been sitting around whining about how stressed he's been because of all that is on his plate, not sure which direction to go next? Who has been so focused on getting the next thing done that he hasn't even had time to really think about what You would have him do? Oh, right that is me.
And talk about stress coming from that. The mind-blowing last line of the psalm addresses what happens when we harden our hearts, let our problems become bigger than our Lord: "They shall never enter my rest."
Wow. I mean, that's exactly what I've been concerned about. That's been one of the problems I've been focused on instead of You. And now I see why I haven't felt Your rest at all over the last few weeks. It's simply my lack of praise, my lack of worship, my lack of awe, my lack of fear, my lack of right relationship with You.
So restoration. Let's get us back on track Lord Jesus. Start with my heart, soften it. Allow my breath to be that of praise again today. You are mighty, and have answered prayer in mighty ways. You are the amazing one who comes to deliver me in the perfect time, in the perfect way. I want to be restored to my proper fear-of-the-Lord, knowledge that You can deal rightly with all in my life. Restore me to that! And I know that You will...
Today, may Your face shine upon me and may I respond with proper joy and praise. May I continue to see Your wonders poured out upon me in the normal, without going above and beyond what's expected, because You have already gone so far above and beyond in answering my prayers. Blessed are You, Lord God, my Praise, for the breath of life that creates and protects and sustains. Lord God, my Salvation, I praise You for creation, and I ask that You continue to protect and sustain. For this, and in anticipation of Your answer, I breathe in joy and thankfulness every moment today. Amen.
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Where is My Praise?
Texts:
- Psalms 89-92
- Luke 9-10
- Luke 1, John 1:1-14
Lord, with all the stresses of forming a new worshipping community, I have committed little of my time to actual worship myself. I sit and realize that the balance of worship and knowledge in my life has tilted far too much to the side of knowledge, and really I'm having trouble finding much to praise about right now.
Honestly, sitting in the middle of this incredible journey that You are leading us on, and I can't find anything to praise about. It feels ridiculous, it makes me stressed, it makes me want to go through my brain over and over and over looking for something good that You've done for me.
I really think that it might be that I am just spoiled. I am used to You acting in such mighty ways that when You are not moving mountains I don't see You moving the stones. Maybe I am part of the wicked generation that wants to see Your amazing miracles, and the signs that You are moving are much smaller.
So how can I find You in smaller but equally important movements? Well, let me start my praise today with this: I know that You are going to answer my prayers. Even as I type this to You, I know that You receive it and will respond to it. I don't dare guess how You will work, but I know You will, and that's much different than many that I know (including myself).
May Your praise be heavy on my lips today, Lord Most High. May I see and recognize Your beauty around me. Let me see it in kids, in algebra, in your provision, in my wife, in all my life. Blessed are You, Lord God of the stones, who is always preparing the way by moving both those stones and largest mountains. Amen.
- Psalms 89-92
- Luke 9-10
- Luke 1, John 1:1-14
Lord, with all the stresses of forming a new worshipping community, I have committed little of my time to actual worship myself. I sit and realize that the balance of worship and knowledge in my life has tilted far too much to the side of knowledge, and really I'm having trouble finding much to praise about right now.
Honestly, sitting in the middle of this incredible journey that You are leading us on, and I can't find anything to praise about. It feels ridiculous, it makes me stressed, it makes me want to go through my brain over and over and over looking for something good that You've done for me.
I really think that it might be that I am just spoiled. I am used to You acting in such mighty ways that when You are not moving mountains I don't see You moving the stones. Maybe I am part of the wicked generation that wants to see Your amazing miracles, and the signs that You are moving are much smaller.
So how can I find You in smaller but equally important movements? Well, let me start my praise today with this: I know that You are going to answer my prayers. Even as I type this to You, I know that You receive it and will respond to it. I don't dare guess how You will work, but I know You will, and that's much different than many that I know (including myself).
May Your praise be heavy on my lips today, Lord Most High. May I see and recognize Your beauty around me. Let me see it in kids, in algebra, in your provision, in my wife, in all my life. Blessed are You, Lord God of the stones, who is always preparing the way by moving both those stones and largest mountains. Amen.
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Be Not Quiet
Texts:
- Psalms 81-84, 126
- Luke 5-6
- Nehemiah 11-13
Oh Lord, my God, my only hope of salvation, be not quiet in life this week. Be not quiet in the life of Exodus Community, bring about Your will in a mighty way so that we know exactly where to go. This week, I pray that You will bless my intent to sharpen my hearing, by speaking very clearly. I want to take the time to listen to You, so don't be quiet when I come.
Of course, I expect to be overwhelmed with all that You will say. That's okay, I long to hear Your voice and move under Your direction. It seems for to long I've been in charge. I've been interpreting Your word, I've been looking for the special golden nugget of Scripture, I've been trying to put things together, I've been trying to make the connections. It is so much better to leave these things up to You. Then real meaning flows out. So allow me to be quiet, while You speak and move and direct. The whole story of life is that You do everything, we simply respond. Allow me to back off and let You move.
I am here, of course, because I have so many questions that I have not been able to figure out with my own work. I have been busy and overwhelmed and not finding what I sought. It is simple really, I wasn't truly seeking in You. How easy it is for us to begin to take over. Center my work and my will back in You Lord. That is the only way that it is worth anything anyway.
Yes, this is a cry. This is a cry I've needed to have for a while now. It is a familiar cry for sure, but it needs to develop into a constant cry. This is my response to Your work today.
- Psalms 81-84, 126
- Luke 5-6
- Nehemiah 11-13
Oh Lord, my God, my only hope of salvation, be not quiet in life this week. Be not quiet in the life of Exodus Community, bring about Your will in a mighty way so that we know exactly where to go. This week, I pray that You will bless my intent to sharpen my hearing, by speaking very clearly. I want to take the time to listen to You, so don't be quiet when I come.
Of course, I expect to be overwhelmed with all that You will say. That's okay, I long to hear Your voice and move under Your direction. It seems for to long I've been in charge. I've been interpreting Your word, I've been looking for the special golden nugget of Scripture, I've been trying to put things together, I've been trying to make the connections. It is so much better to leave these things up to You. Then real meaning flows out. So allow me to be quiet, while You speak and move and direct. The whole story of life is that You do everything, we simply respond. Allow me to back off and let You move.
I am here, of course, because I have so many questions that I have not been able to figure out with my own work. I have been busy and overwhelmed and not finding what I sought. It is simple really, I wasn't truly seeking in You. How easy it is for us to begin to take over. Center my work and my will back in You Lord. That is the only way that it is worth anything anyway.
Yes, this is a cry. This is a cry I've needed to have for a while now. It is a familiar cry for sure, but it needs to develop into a constant cry. This is my response to Your work today.
Monday, April 9, 2007
Alive, Humanly Alive
Texts:
- Psalms 77-80
- Luke 3-4
- Nehemiah 7-10
I am often unaffected by the Easter festivity of Christ's raising from the dead. He died for my sins, but I am still committing those same sins. He made a way for me to go to heaven, but I am not right now in heaven. He hung there and was beat there and perished there for me, but I do not always feel that power, nor the flood of remorse that might be expected from a poor man like me, a sinner.
But yet, Jesus, You are risen. You are risen indeed. And what does that mean to me? Too often Easter becomes about the gruesome, horrifying, torturous death You died and not about the fact that the only reason You even went to that death was to conquer it. I look at the lives of Your disciples, Your death did nothing but scare and scatter them. But Your resurrection, Your reappearance, Your sending, Your ascension...it enabled them to walk to the same death as You, the same death that they had been so frightened and avoided when You suffered it.
It is because the power of You alive is what makes You amazing. It is the power of You alive that can deliver me from sin and pain, not the power of Your death. It is the power of Your victory over the grave that can give me confidence to live in You, not the gruesome way that You went to the grave. You alive gives power to those who believe.
And humanly alive, not as a ghost. You are still alive in human form, still providing a way to God for the rest of us humans. You are the way to God and God's way to us. Jesus, You care for all humanity so deeply that You are still working among us today, in Your human life.
I don't know how to say this succinctly, but Christ alive not dead makes Easter special. He is risen, he is risen indeed.
- Psalms 77-80
- Luke 3-4
- Nehemiah 7-10
I am often unaffected by the Easter festivity of Christ's raising from the dead. He died for my sins, but I am still committing those same sins. He made a way for me to go to heaven, but I am not right now in heaven. He hung there and was beat there and perished there for me, but I do not always feel that power, nor the flood of remorse that might be expected from a poor man like me, a sinner.
But yet, Jesus, You are risen. You are risen indeed. And what does that mean to me? Too often Easter becomes about the gruesome, horrifying, torturous death You died and not about the fact that the only reason You even went to that death was to conquer it. I look at the lives of Your disciples, Your death did nothing but scare and scatter them. But Your resurrection, Your reappearance, Your sending, Your ascension...it enabled them to walk to the same death as You, the same death that they had been so frightened and avoided when You suffered it.
It is because the power of You alive is what makes You amazing. It is the power of You alive that can deliver me from sin and pain, not the power of Your death. It is the power of Your victory over the grave that can give me confidence to live in You, not the gruesome way that You went to the grave. You alive gives power to those who believe.
And humanly alive, not as a ghost. You are still alive in human form, still providing a way to God for the rest of us humans. You are the way to God and God's way to us. Jesus, You care for all humanity so deeply that You are still working among us today, in Your human life.
I don't know how to say this succinctly, but Christ alive not dead makes Easter special. He is risen, he is risen indeed.
Saturday, April 7, 2007
Production
Texts:
- Psalms 69-72
- Mark 14-16
- Nehemiah 1-5
Jesus Christ, my Lord, I am overcome this weekend with a sense of reaction. I know that You have laid much before me, and my hands want to be at that work every minute, every second. It is leading me into a sense of overwhelming stress. I don't know how You can work, it is so obvious that You are beyond humanity. I watched an Easter play last night that covered most of Your ministry, and I noticed how many times You sought refuge, a quiet place, and how many times that plan was ruined.
I seem to be experiencing the same things. I seek refuge in Your word or Your presence, and suddenly its time to go somewhere. I seek to simply rest, and other thoughts and problems crowd my mind. I try to concentrate on the tasks set before me, now that I have time to concentrate on them, and my heart constricts within my chest to a burning ache. Then I let it go and do nothing of consequence and feel terrible about it. I guess that I am feeling like I always must be producing.
What do You have to say about production? Obviously Your friends and You took time to feast, but You always had an eye out for others, for serving, for their interuption. Where has our American culture of materialism, production, and worth blotted the truth from my eyes as far as working is concerned? There is obviously stuff to be done, thoughts to think, sermons to write, preparations to prepare, and on and on. I look only to You to help me sort all of this out.
Tomorrow, we celebrate Your resurrection. Help me to celebrate. Help me to feel. Lend me a true emotion about the morning that has generally passed without significance for 25 years of my life. Let me escape my thoughts and troubles, my work and my play, my stress and my distraction, and simply wonder, if only for several seconds, at the joy and the pain that is evident in my Savior.
- Psalms 69-72
- Mark 14-16
- Nehemiah 1-5
Jesus Christ, my Lord, I am overcome this weekend with a sense of reaction. I know that You have laid much before me, and my hands want to be at that work every minute, every second. It is leading me into a sense of overwhelming stress. I don't know how You can work, it is so obvious that You are beyond humanity. I watched an Easter play last night that covered most of Your ministry, and I noticed how many times You sought refuge, a quiet place, and how many times that plan was ruined.
I seem to be experiencing the same things. I seek refuge in Your word or Your presence, and suddenly its time to go somewhere. I seek to simply rest, and other thoughts and problems crowd my mind. I try to concentrate on the tasks set before me, now that I have time to concentrate on them, and my heart constricts within my chest to a burning ache. Then I let it go and do nothing of consequence and feel terrible about it. I guess that I am feeling like I always must be producing.
What do You have to say about production? Obviously Your friends and You took time to feast, but You always had an eye out for others, for serving, for their interuption. Where has our American culture of materialism, production, and worth blotted the truth from my eyes as far as working is concerned? There is obviously stuff to be done, thoughts to think, sermons to write, preparations to prepare, and on and on. I look only to You to help me sort all of this out.
Tomorrow, we celebrate Your resurrection. Help me to celebrate. Help me to feel. Lend me a true emotion about the morning that has generally passed without significance for 25 years of my life. Let me escape my thoughts and troubles, my work and my play, my stress and my distraction, and simply wonder, if only for several seconds, at the joy and the pain that is evident in my Savior.
Tuesday, April 3, 2007
Be Opened
Texts:
- Psalms 53-56
- Mark 6-7
- Zechariah 8-14
Dear God Almighty, why is the New Testament so hard for me? I read these amazing stories and think that I can never truly understand what Jesus was getting at. That's really because I don't ever think I could be like what Jesus is most of the time. Constantly surrounded by people, healing them, driving out demons, standing at odds with many. I'd rather be a biblical recluse and write books of poetry.
Here is what I then ask of You, Lord God. In my reading I came across a deaf man. Jesus looked to the heavens and said, "Be opened." To me, this is another of those circumstances that Jesus' words meant more than one thing. Certainly, he meant for the man's ears to be opened, and they were and the man heard, but I think that he meant for the heavens to be opened and fall upon this man as well. In Zechariah 13:1, a fountain is opened up to cleanse the people of God from "sin and inquity." Oh Lord, the opening of You to pour out Your righteousness, Your salvation.
As pretty as all these words are and as much as I want to start a poem about them, I first need to pause and call out to You very honestly and personally. Lord, in my life, be opened. Open a fountain of cleansing, for my lust and pure selfishness on this vacation have been rampant. Then Jesus, open the power of heaven to course through my veins, filling me with my only option, to be like You. Finally, open my ears that I might hear You throughout my day. God Almighty, be opened that I might leap into You.
- Psalms 53-56
- Mark 6-7
- Zechariah 8-14
Dear God Almighty, why is the New Testament so hard for me? I read these amazing stories and think that I can never truly understand what Jesus was getting at. That's really because I don't ever think I could be like what Jesus is most of the time. Constantly surrounded by people, healing them, driving out demons, standing at odds with many. I'd rather be a biblical recluse and write books of poetry.
Here is what I then ask of You, Lord God. In my reading I came across a deaf man. Jesus looked to the heavens and said, "Be opened." To me, this is another of those circumstances that Jesus' words meant more than one thing. Certainly, he meant for the man's ears to be opened, and they were and the man heard, but I think that he meant for the heavens to be opened and fall upon this man as well. In Zechariah 13:1, a fountain is opened up to cleanse the people of God from "sin and inquity." Oh Lord, the opening of You to pour out Your righteousness, Your salvation.
As pretty as all these words are and as much as I want to start a poem about them, I first need to pause and call out to You very honestly and personally. Lord, in my life, be opened. Open a fountain of cleansing, for my lust and pure selfishness on this vacation have been rampant. Then Jesus, open the power of heaven to course through my veins, filling me with my only option, to be like You. Finally, open my ears that I might hear You throughout my day. God Almighty, be opened that I might leap into You.
Monday, April 2, 2007
Into God
Texts:
- Psalms 49-52
- Mark 3-5
- Zechariah 1-7
Lord, it is so good to be back at this table with You, this feast of Your word. I have kept up with the reading, but reading is like drinking where writing for me is the eating, the chewing, the tasting. Thank You for allowing this morning to unfold brilliantly for our time together.
What's on my mind today? The word in. Or into. I read this passage last night and it got me thinking this morning when I woke.
Psalm 48:9 - "Within your temple, O God, we meditate on your unfailing love."
What does meditate really mean Lord? To think. Yes, but there seems to be a deeper meaning to that word. I have recently come to redefine meditate as imagining ourselves into a situation. It then helps us react accordingly to that reality. So what does it mean to meditate on unfailing love? Well, simply to imagine ourselves into that love, to think of ourselves as surrounded by that amazing reality and ponder its greatness.
A Catholic sister put it in a very tangible way. Imagine that the entire room or house that you are in is suddenly flooded with water, yet you are still able to breathe and float around in this underwater paradise. Imagine the water's feel upon your skin as you stroke through it. Now, imagine that this water is God's ever-present love. That is a way into the mystery. It is through imagination.
Meditation, it seems Lord, is about asking questions, imagining experiences, and thinking about what we would do, feel, be if those questions and experiences were real. The thing about doing that with Your word is that when we step back, we see that they are real.
Because You are real, we simply need a way into You. The word in shows up over my Psalms reading this morning. We are taught wisdom in Your inmost place (Psalm 51). We are olive trees flourishing IN the house of God (Psalm 52). If we are evil, then we are uprooted from the land of the living (Psalm 52) and tossed OUT.
Which is what makes meditation upon Your word so important. It is our initial way into You. Think about how we should respond to reality. Then in responding in the way we just imagined, we are living IN You. We live IN Christ.
May I continue to be enthralled with living in You today, Jesus Christ my Lord. May You continue Your work while living IN and through me. May my words and actions be those of one trying to swim deeper into the unfailing love that envelops me. Blessed are You, Lord God of the imagination, providing our minds with a way to think into You so that our earthly minds can respond accordingly. Blessed are You, and praise be to my God, God of all.
- Psalms 49-52
- Mark 3-5
- Zechariah 1-7
Lord, it is so good to be back at this table with You, this feast of Your word. I have kept up with the reading, but reading is like drinking where writing for me is the eating, the chewing, the tasting. Thank You for allowing this morning to unfold brilliantly for our time together.
What's on my mind today? The word in. Or into. I read this passage last night and it got me thinking this morning when I woke.
Psalm 48:9 - "Within your temple, O God, we meditate on your unfailing love."
What does meditate really mean Lord? To think. Yes, but there seems to be a deeper meaning to that word. I have recently come to redefine meditate as imagining ourselves into a situation. It then helps us react accordingly to that reality. So what does it mean to meditate on unfailing love? Well, simply to imagine ourselves into that love, to think of ourselves as surrounded by that amazing reality and ponder its greatness.
A Catholic sister put it in a very tangible way. Imagine that the entire room or house that you are in is suddenly flooded with water, yet you are still able to breathe and float around in this underwater paradise. Imagine the water's feel upon your skin as you stroke through it. Now, imagine that this water is God's ever-present love. That is a way into the mystery. It is through imagination.
Meditation, it seems Lord, is about asking questions, imagining experiences, and thinking about what we would do, feel, be if those questions and experiences were real. The thing about doing that with Your word is that when we step back, we see that they are real.
Because You are real, we simply need a way into You. The word in shows up over my Psalms reading this morning. We are taught wisdom in Your inmost place (Psalm 51). We are olive trees flourishing IN the house of God (Psalm 52). If we are evil, then we are uprooted from the land of the living (Psalm 52) and tossed OUT.
Which is what makes meditation upon Your word so important. It is our initial way into You. Think about how we should respond to reality. Then in responding in the way we just imagined, we are living IN You. We live IN Christ.
May I continue to be enthralled with living in You today, Jesus Christ my Lord. May You continue Your work while living IN and through me. May my words and actions be those of one trying to swim deeper into the unfailing love that envelops me. Blessed are You, Lord God of the imagination, providing our minds with a way to think into You so that our earthly minds can respond accordingly. Blessed are You, and praise be to my God, God of all.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
