Lord, my prayers all have the same theme throughout this stretch of tennis season. I'm stressed, give me some relief (and usually I have some variation of "Let us win tennis matches, but you know, Your will be done" stuck in there). I'm starting to realize that You've given me the tools to take care of some of the stress myself, but I don't take that responsibility very seriously at times.
Like the fact that I'm overtired most of the time. Well, I could decide that during tennis season I'm going to be super careful about what I eat so that I don't have to get up super early in order to get to the gym so that I don't end up gaining twenty pounds during tennis season. But no, stress makes me eat more instead of becoming more disciplined, and so I have to go to the gym, and so I'm up and yawning at 5:00 in the morning in order to make it happen. I call it discipline because I'm doing something that I wouldn't choose to do if I had the choice, but I've got the choice... and I can't stop myself from choosing too much food.
That's getting frustrating to me, because I'm afraid of the implications that it has elsewhere in my life. What I'm talking about, Lord, is my overeating. The only way that I've found to control my overeating is by not eating at all. The times that I'm fasting are great because I CAN'T eat. But if I'm given the opportunity to eat, like most of all year round, I cannot eat the proper amount. Even if I don't really like the food I eat too much. And it doesn't even make me feel good. Yesterday I ate way too much, and today I feel like crap. This morning I feel so sick and tired... doesn't help the stress level very much, eh?
Anyways, it is something I would like to see change over time, my ability to limit myself instead of just cutting everything off. I know I have a majority of the responsibility in this change, but let Your Spirit give me the strength to accomplish this turn of discipline.
Oh, and let us win some tennis matches this weekend, but (and I type this sarcastically but actually mean it wholeheartedly) Your will be done.
Showing posts with label limits. Show all posts
Showing posts with label limits. Show all posts
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
God of Mercy and Compassion
Scripture Reading:
Exodus 33-35
There's a line of Scripture that has bothered me for a long time, and I came across it again today. The verse is Exodus 33:19 -
"And the LORD said, "I will cause all my goodness to pass in front of you, and I will proclaim my name, the LORD, in your presence. I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion."
I guess I understand what's going on here, when I look at it in context. Moses has asked to see Your glory, and You agree. Perhaps, probably, this statement about having mercy on whom You will have mercy is simply to emphasize to Moses that even though You are granting his request, You are the one who is ultimately in control. As Robert Altar says in his commentary, Your goodness is not amenable to human prediction, calculation, or manipulation. Even though Moses had found favor in Your eyes, and in this case You were granting his requests, in the end You cannot be told what to do. I suppose that is really the meaning of what's going on here. Basically that You are all powerful, we should not believe that any ritual, prayer, or suggestion will force You to do what we desire.
What bothers me about the passage is sinking a little in the light of this new understanding, but it still stirs my soul to want to question You slightly. The way that this is worded makes it seem like You may choose not to have compassion on some people, that You may choose not to have mercy on some people. I suppose that there are lots of logical reasons why You wouldn't have compassion on people (like they refuse Your mercy and grace, and they harden their hearts against You, like Pharaoh). Still, just saying that there are those who don't receive Your mercy and compassion, that seems so out of character with You. You know, and if You're the one who ultimately decided who You dole out Your care too, does our attitude and such even matter?
I know that there are other glorious sides to You as well, that may negate this weird mystery problem. I know that consistently throughout the Scriptures You are a God who limits Yourself for our sake. Though You have the right and the power to control everything You often bend to answer the prayers of the ones who love You, You allow us the freedom of choice, and eventually in the story of Scripture, You limit Yourself to human form and come to be with us. As far as this mercy and compassion question goes, perhaps there are limits involved here as well. Perhaps You allow Yourself to be limited to answering the prayers of those who cry out, though You could simply ignore them.
Maybe that is another great lesson of praise for me today (why do I consistently say maybe when I'm talking with You. Maybe because I want to know You, but I hesitate to say I've got it all figured out.) What I mean by a lesson of praise is that if You have the right and the ability to do whatever the heck You want, and then You choose to limit Your self to answering my prayer. That's incredible!
My prayer for today? Have mercy and compassion on Your people, just like Moses prayed. I'm not sure that we've angered You enough that You don't want to go with us, but just like Moses begged, You have to go with us. Life isn't really worth living if You aren't walking with us. So be compassionate as You are Lord, be gracious as You are, and come with us wherever we are going today.
Exodus 33-35
There's a line of Scripture that has bothered me for a long time, and I came across it again today. The verse is Exodus 33:19 -
"And the LORD said, "I will cause all my goodness to pass in front of you, and I will proclaim my name, the LORD, in your presence. I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion."
I guess I understand what's going on here, when I look at it in context. Moses has asked to see Your glory, and You agree. Perhaps, probably, this statement about having mercy on whom You will have mercy is simply to emphasize to Moses that even though You are granting his request, You are the one who is ultimately in control. As Robert Altar says in his commentary, Your goodness is not amenable to human prediction, calculation, or manipulation. Even though Moses had found favor in Your eyes, and in this case You were granting his requests, in the end You cannot be told what to do. I suppose that is really the meaning of what's going on here. Basically that You are all powerful, we should not believe that any ritual, prayer, or suggestion will force You to do what we desire.
What bothers me about the passage is sinking a little in the light of this new understanding, but it still stirs my soul to want to question You slightly. The way that this is worded makes it seem like You may choose not to have compassion on some people, that You may choose not to have mercy on some people. I suppose that there are lots of logical reasons why You wouldn't have compassion on people (like they refuse Your mercy and grace, and they harden their hearts against You, like Pharaoh). Still, just saying that there are those who don't receive Your mercy and compassion, that seems so out of character with You. You know, and if You're the one who ultimately decided who You dole out Your care too, does our attitude and such even matter?
I know that there are other glorious sides to You as well, that may negate this weird mystery problem. I know that consistently throughout the Scriptures You are a God who limits Yourself for our sake. Though You have the right and the power to control everything You often bend to answer the prayers of the ones who love You, You allow us the freedom of choice, and eventually in the story of Scripture, You limit Yourself to human form and come to be with us. As far as this mercy and compassion question goes, perhaps there are limits involved here as well. Perhaps You allow Yourself to be limited to answering the prayers of those who cry out, though You could simply ignore them.
Maybe that is another great lesson of praise for me today (why do I consistently say maybe when I'm talking with You. Maybe because I want to know You, but I hesitate to say I've got it all figured out.) What I mean by a lesson of praise is that if You have the right and the ability to do whatever the heck You want, and then You choose to limit Your self to answering my prayer. That's incredible!
My prayer for today? Have mercy and compassion on Your people, just like Moses prayed. I'm not sure that we've angered You enough that You don't want to go with us, but just like Moses begged, You have to go with us. Life isn't really worth living if You aren't walking with us. So be compassionate as You are Lord, be gracious as You are, and come with us wherever we are going today.
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