SATURDAY 3.22.08 – PETER
Peter followed Jesus for years. He saw many miracles and amazing things. He’s the only person other than Jesus to walk on water! After all these experiences that displayed the power of God in the life of Christ, Peter still feared for his own life enough to deny Jesus three times in one day. His doubt is an encouragement to us all. Peter saw signs and miracles and Jesus in all His glory at the transfiguration, and still he doubted. The Rock on whom Jesus built His Church learned great lessons from continued faith and obedience through doubt. Read about Peter’s lowest point (Matthew 26:69–75) and his restoration (John 21:15–18).
It's just interesting that the day before my fast ends, I'm sitting here looking back over the past 45 days and thinking, wow, what was all that for? I mean, I've throughly enjoyed the fast again, and there have been some great times. But I always get stuck in a rut of shame. It's so interesting, and depressing. I mean, last year I came to the end of the fast and I was genuinely moved by all that had happened. This year I come to the end of the fast and am not. I'm ready for it to be over, and I know that the lack of spiritual experience is entirely my fault.
It makes it hard to think that I'll have joy tomorrow in the Easter experience. Except for one thing. Christ died for my shame. You died for my shame, and all the sin and disinterest that kept me far from You. Trust me, I still have this deep desire to go back and change everything. To start afresh and anew and have this all mean something profound but... You died for the fact that I failed.
Pretty unbelievable when I finally look at the story of Peter this morning. As I think of this being the last day before Easter, before the day on which You rose triumphantly, I think about the things that I have done to trample Your Spirit throughout this Lenten period and honestly it makes me want to "weep bitterly" as Peter did.
But one thing very good that has certainly happened throughout my fast has been a rekindling of my desire to be an excellent pastor for Exodus. And realizations of what that actually means that I must do. Being a "pastor," which literally in Latin means "shepherd," it is kind of shocking to go back and read this passage where You talk to Peter after Your resurrection. "Feed my sheep," You asked Peter. It's almost as if You are extending to him a way to get past his shame.
This is how I feel, I truly let You down in this fast by letting the other busy things of my life push You around. I didn't make the time to pay attention to the things You were doing. I want to make it up to You in any way possible and it is like You are hitting me with this verse, "Feed my sheep." I have a whole flock of people that as pastor I have taken spiritual responsibility. Luckily it is not a job I do alone, but I do have a special role in it. Have I been fulfilling that role? Not always. But I can start that right now. And it may be the way You are pointing out that I can "make things up" to You.
It's reminds me...hope is what creates joy. Suddenly, in my last day, my hope in myself is renewed because I know that You still hope in me. I have greater expectations of me than failure, sloth, and shame. You believe that I can, with the help and company of others, feed Your sheep. That hope needs to infuse itself into our community and deep into my heart.
Lord God, Creator of all good, You are all good. You have blessed me beyond the skies with all sorts of good. Actually, as I look back, even the past few days You have blessed me with all sorts of good. I know my assignment. Just like Peter, I must stop looking at the bad within myself that keeps me shamed and low, and instead I must look for the good in You and use it to feed your sheep, to encourage the flock, to lead them to the same level of attentiveness. To help them see You. And just like it says in James, You are the Father of heavenly lights, not shifting like the shadows but constantly giving every good and perfect gift. You are behind the good and perfect in life, and You raise that good and perfect up out of death and suffering. Maybe that's the true lesson of this fast, it wasn't the greatest, but You are using it to infuse me with this truth in a profound way. That You can even take my bad, and use it for good. Right now, You are using it as motivation, as a teaching tool. Thank You. You are the Lord Most High! Thank You for Your blessing! Thank You for this fast! Thank You for my Son! Thank You for Jesus! Thank You for being the God who raises up victory from defeat! I love You!
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
How is God With Us?
WEDNESDAY 3.19.08 – GIDEON
Gideon’s doubt was not easy to satisfy. More than once, he asks God to reassure him with signs. Being the youngest and from the weakest clan, the idea that he would rescue Israel just seemed to be too much to swallow. Read Gideon’s story in Judges 6.
Gideon, God's mighty warrior who is hiding from the Midianites when the Lord comes to speak with him. The thing that he was hiding from was exactly what You had him stand up and conquer. And the over riding message to the whole story again is that Gideon does not have to do the work and the deliverance alone but that it is in Your power.
I don't understand how this all works. I mean, when there is this promise that You will be with us when we step out in faith and do something that the Scriptures call us to, what does that mean? It certainly doesn't always mean that You'll perform miracles for us. In fact, Gideon goes about the whole process of breaking down Baal's altars with his own two hands. He doesn't stand in front of them and call down fire out of the sky. And then, when the townspeople are ready to kill him for destroying their gods, it's not You in miraculous fashion that saves him, but his father who says, reasonably, "Let Baal fight for himself."
So, where were You with Gideon here? It seems so Sunday School-ish and simple to say that You were acting through the other people in the story. It may be true but it is not satisfactory. When I am truly scared about stepping out and leading somewhere new, I don't want to just trust that You will work through others and that You will be "with" me in some mystical sense. I want to see You work in visions, signs, and miracles. I want solid proof that my success comes from You. The miraculous seems unquestionable because humans cannot perform it.
That's what makes it hard to step out and do anything most of the time. Cognitively, I know that You are with me, it's written all over the Biblical text. But physically, how is that going to help me. In class today, when I am trying to teach some of Your truths and students are bored out of their minds, how will I feel that You are with me?
It's interesting, in James it says that if we doubt we will receive nothing. I argued in class that that is not because You're not trying to give it, but rather, that we're not willing to receive it. Notice that the language in that passage is one of not receiving, instead of You not giving. It seems to me that as Bryan was pointing out, there is one key about the way that we deal with doubt, and that is obedience. Though we doubt, we must forge ahead and give You the chance to prove true. For if we don't obey, we will never receive. If doubt causes us to be paralyzed, then we will never have the chance to let You disprove our doubt.
So there is an element of confidence in You even before doubt is relieved. That is my faith. That little bit of confidence that should allow me to step out and do the things that Scripture has revealed to be correct, that is my faith. As strong as that confidence is, the more that I can undertake for You.
I want small things today from my faith. To be able to teach confidently and for my words to be of You. To be able to encourage in the face of frustration. To be able to discipline in the face of conflict. To be able to speak truth in love if needed to my friends, again in the face of conflict. These are the things where I could truly say, I am hiding from these responsibilities and I am weak. But, "the LORD is with me, mighty warrior."
Let me forge ahead.
Gideon’s doubt was not easy to satisfy. More than once, he asks God to reassure him with signs. Being the youngest and from the weakest clan, the idea that he would rescue Israel just seemed to be too much to swallow. Read Gideon’s story in Judges 6.
Gideon, God's mighty warrior who is hiding from the Midianites when the Lord comes to speak with him. The thing that he was hiding from was exactly what You had him stand up and conquer. And the over riding message to the whole story again is that Gideon does not have to do the work and the deliverance alone but that it is in Your power.
I don't understand how this all works. I mean, when there is this promise that You will be with us when we step out in faith and do something that the Scriptures call us to, what does that mean? It certainly doesn't always mean that You'll perform miracles for us. In fact, Gideon goes about the whole process of breaking down Baal's altars with his own two hands. He doesn't stand in front of them and call down fire out of the sky. And then, when the townspeople are ready to kill him for destroying their gods, it's not You in miraculous fashion that saves him, but his father who says, reasonably, "Let Baal fight for himself."
So, where were You with Gideon here? It seems so Sunday School-ish and simple to say that You were acting through the other people in the story. It may be true but it is not satisfactory. When I am truly scared about stepping out and leading somewhere new, I don't want to just trust that You will work through others and that You will be "with" me in some mystical sense. I want to see You work in visions, signs, and miracles. I want solid proof that my success comes from You. The miraculous seems unquestionable because humans cannot perform it.
That's what makes it hard to step out and do anything most of the time. Cognitively, I know that You are with me, it's written all over the Biblical text. But physically, how is that going to help me. In class today, when I am trying to teach some of Your truths and students are bored out of their minds, how will I feel that You are with me?
It's interesting, in James it says that if we doubt we will receive nothing. I argued in class that that is not because You're not trying to give it, but rather, that we're not willing to receive it. Notice that the language in that passage is one of not receiving, instead of You not giving. It seems to me that as Bryan was pointing out, there is one key about the way that we deal with doubt, and that is obedience. Though we doubt, we must forge ahead and give You the chance to prove true. For if we don't obey, we will never receive. If doubt causes us to be paralyzed, then we will never have the chance to let You disprove our doubt.
So there is an element of confidence in You even before doubt is relieved. That is my faith. That little bit of confidence that should allow me to step out and do the things that Scripture has revealed to be correct, that is my faith. As strong as that confidence is, the more that I can undertake for You.
I want small things today from my faith. To be able to teach confidently and for my words to be of You. To be able to encourage in the face of frustration. To be able to discipline in the face of conflict. To be able to speak truth in love if needed to my friends, again in the face of conflict. These are the things where I could truly say, I am hiding from these responsibilities and I am weak. But, "the LORD is with me, mighty warrior."
Let me forge ahead.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
The Community's Role
TUESDAY 3.18.08 – MOSES
The Jewish people still revere Moses to this day. He lead the people out of captivity and recieved the Law right from the mouth of YHWH. But before all of that, God spoke to Moses from the burning bush, asking him to do impossible sounding things. His doubt in God and himself lead Moses to ask God to send someone else. God responds in Exodus 4:10–16.
This week during Lent, Bryan has asked us to consider the role that doubt plays in our lives. Where are we doubting You? Where am I not convinced of the things that You've asked me to do? Perhaps the number one way to recognize where doubt is ruling my life is to look for the places that I am making excuses. As I look at the character and the story of Moses, his excuses jump out at me every time.
Well, I've been trying to work through some hard issues involved with be a leader in the church. And certainly as I work through those excuses have jumped up in my conversations with You. First of all, and definitely foremost, there is a mandate that as a leader I must be honest with the other leaders who are striving to guide the church with me, even when that means being critical of them. Because they are my friends, because I fear criticism coming back at myself, and most of all because I hate conflict, I have avoided this. There is no way that I can call this anything but wrong. The hurtful part for me to think of is not only is it wrong, it is damaging to the community. So certainly, there is fear and doubt in that situation.
Doubt #1: Will honesty really leave people in a place of health, even when it provokes conflict?
Secondly, Joel shared with us that after his Super Bowl party several of his friends felt that we were cold. He wants us to meet with them again, so that they can see a different side of us. Part of me welcomes this second chance. Part of me dreads it. I am not always good at meeting new people. That is the excuse as well. My doubt is that You can use me to reach people I don't know very well, that You can enable me to be the outgoing person that I don't feel like being, that I've never been. Then I also doubt if this is what You called me to. Why would You give me a personality that is introverted, that only has ever required one or two friends, when You then call me to be outgoing and bring new people in?
Doubt #2: Can I be a people-friendly face of the church that I just need to be to be an attractive person?
I think I could probably find more doubts, but I want to end with a big third doubt. I doubt myself and my ability as a leader period. The responsibility of a teacher, that is great, but I was able to handle that when I thought that was going to be what it meant to be the leader of a church. Now, it seems that being a leader is more about being in tune with a variety of people, being in tune with You, being a connection between the congregation and God, helping them seek You personally, stepping into their lives and trying to point out where You are there with them, and oh so many other weighty things. And we're only talking about 20 people maybe! The responsibility has become a great weight, for I so desire to see their transformation into the character of Christ and when it is at all lacking, that falls upon me.
Doubt #3: Can I even be a leader under the force of this weight?
In Your answer to Moses, in the passage of Exodus 4:10-16, You get angry with him for continual doubt. LORD, please turn Your anger from me if You are tired of excuses. Despite Your anger in the passage, You do something so profound and wise. Sometimes I forget, this is going to sound ridiculous, that You have so much practical wisdom. What You do is that You send someone with Moses. You don't back off the call, instead, You give him some company along the way.
Look! You've done the same for me! And how I try to pick them apart at times, pridefully place myself ahead of them in my mind at times, shamefully think that they are so much better than me at other times, ridiculously live at times as if we are in some type of competition or something. No, LORD, no! You have given me an extremely talented, loving, and caring group of individuals to walk with me in these doubts. It's an amazing reason for joy within the difficulty. You have not left us alone, as You are with us. But You have not left us physically alone, as You are with us in the form of the community as well. You are beyond wise!
I will praise Your wisdom within my doubt today! Thank You for the blessing of community!
The Jewish people still revere Moses to this day. He lead the people out of captivity and recieved the Law right from the mouth of YHWH. But before all of that, God spoke to Moses from the burning bush, asking him to do impossible sounding things. His doubt in God and himself lead Moses to ask God to send someone else. God responds in Exodus 4:10–16.
This week during Lent, Bryan has asked us to consider the role that doubt plays in our lives. Where are we doubting You? Where am I not convinced of the things that You've asked me to do? Perhaps the number one way to recognize where doubt is ruling my life is to look for the places that I am making excuses. As I look at the character and the story of Moses, his excuses jump out at me every time.
Well, I've been trying to work through some hard issues involved with be a leader in the church. And certainly as I work through those excuses have jumped up in my conversations with You. First of all, and definitely foremost, there is a mandate that as a leader I must be honest with the other leaders who are striving to guide the church with me, even when that means being critical of them. Because they are my friends, because I fear criticism coming back at myself, and most of all because I hate conflict, I have avoided this. There is no way that I can call this anything but wrong. The hurtful part for me to think of is not only is it wrong, it is damaging to the community. So certainly, there is fear and doubt in that situation.
Doubt #1: Will honesty really leave people in a place of health, even when it provokes conflict?
Secondly, Joel shared with us that after his Super Bowl party several of his friends felt that we were cold. He wants us to meet with them again, so that they can see a different side of us. Part of me welcomes this second chance. Part of me dreads it. I am not always good at meeting new people. That is the excuse as well. My doubt is that You can use me to reach people I don't know very well, that You can enable me to be the outgoing person that I don't feel like being, that I've never been. Then I also doubt if this is what You called me to. Why would You give me a personality that is introverted, that only has ever required one or two friends, when You then call me to be outgoing and bring new people in?
Doubt #2: Can I be a people-friendly face of the church that I just need to be to be an attractive person?
I think I could probably find more doubts, but I want to end with a big third doubt. I doubt myself and my ability as a leader period. The responsibility of a teacher, that is great, but I was able to handle that when I thought that was going to be what it meant to be the leader of a church. Now, it seems that being a leader is more about being in tune with a variety of people, being in tune with You, being a connection between the congregation and God, helping them seek You personally, stepping into their lives and trying to point out where You are there with them, and oh so many other weighty things. And we're only talking about 20 people maybe! The responsibility has become a great weight, for I so desire to see their transformation into the character of Christ and when it is at all lacking, that falls upon me.
Doubt #3: Can I even be a leader under the force of this weight?
In Your answer to Moses, in the passage of Exodus 4:10-16, You get angry with him for continual doubt. LORD, please turn Your anger from me if You are tired of excuses. Despite Your anger in the passage, You do something so profound and wise. Sometimes I forget, this is going to sound ridiculous, that You have so much practical wisdom. What You do is that You send someone with Moses. You don't back off the call, instead, You give him some company along the way.
Look! You've done the same for me! And how I try to pick them apart at times, pridefully place myself ahead of them in my mind at times, shamefully think that they are so much better than me at other times, ridiculously live at times as if we are in some type of competition or something. No, LORD, no! You have given me an extremely talented, loving, and caring group of individuals to walk with me in these doubts. It's an amazing reason for joy within the difficulty. You have not left us alone, as You are with us. But You have not left us physically alone, as You are with us in the form of the community as well. You are beyond wise!
I will praise Your wisdom within my doubt today! Thank You for the blessing of community!
Friday, March 14, 2008
Live Up to What You Know
FRIDAY 3.14.08 – PHILLIPIANS 3:16–17
Only let us live up to what we have already attained. Join with others in following my example, brothers, and take note of those who live according to the pattern we gave you.
Lord, thank You for a great teaching meeting last night. I feel energized again about the group of pastors, group of people, group of disciples that I am apart of in following You. I'm reminded again yesterday, two different times actually, how refreshing honesty can be. At tennis practice I confronted one of my players about his attitude and the conversation ended with him saying he was glad I talked to him. At teaching meeting Joel confronted us with his frustration and the night ended with all of us saying that this was a good night.
Interesting thing about the verse today: "Only let us live up to what we have already attained." I believe as I pulled up this verse in Bible Gateway, that the context here is that we should live up to the things about Christ that we know. Certainly we are always growing and learning and seeing more clearly if we are truly following as a disciple. I think that this verse is saying, what you know, do that. What you don't know, don't worry about that yet. That's what Paul does.
Today, I want that to be true of me but also my community. And that's my prayer. Transform people, Lord, so that they can live what they know. Transform me, so that I can live up to what I've already attained. And that's where I'm going to end, short and sweet. Lord, let me meditate today on the Word. Let it sink into me throughout my comings and my goings. Amen.
Only let us live up to what we have already attained. Join with others in following my example, brothers, and take note of those who live according to the pattern we gave you.
Lord, thank You for a great teaching meeting last night. I feel energized again about the group of pastors, group of people, group of disciples that I am apart of in following You. I'm reminded again yesterday, two different times actually, how refreshing honesty can be. At tennis practice I confronted one of my players about his attitude and the conversation ended with him saying he was glad I talked to him. At teaching meeting Joel confronted us with his frustration and the night ended with all of us saying that this was a good night.
Interesting thing about the verse today: "Only let us live up to what we have already attained." I believe as I pulled up this verse in Bible Gateway, that the context here is that we should live up to the things about Christ that we know. Certainly we are always growing and learning and seeing more clearly if we are truly following as a disciple. I think that this verse is saying, what you know, do that. What you don't know, don't worry about that yet. That's what Paul does.
Today, I want that to be true of me but also my community. And that's my prayer. Transform people, Lord, so that they can live what they know. Transform me, so that I can live up to what I've already attained. And that's where I'm going to end, short and sweet. Lord, let me meditate today on the Word. Let it sink into me throughout my comings and my goings. Amen.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Let 'Em See Good Works and Then...
THURSDAY 3.13.08 – MATTHEW 5:14–16
You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.
Love, love, love this verse. It's not like today is my first time reading it. I make my students study this verse in connection with the verse where You said: "While I am in the world I am the light of the world." It's amazing that this with this whole study of light, we find that where You dwell there is light, life, and provision. Then You come and dwell in human flesh among us and proclaim that You are the light of the world. Yes, because at that time You were dwelling among us. Then, it what is a most radical statement, You declared that we were the light of the world. It's radical in two ways that I see: You are giving responsibilities to humans and also it means that You dwell among us, because only where You dwell is there true light, life, and provision.
So, how is my life bringing light to everyone in the house? Do I have good deeds that are shining forth, allowing people to praise You, my Father in heaven? When I turn the spotlight on my life, I think there are certainly ways about my life that do help people see You. In my teaching, I make sure to start everyday with a prayer. I know that besides our sixth grade teacher I am the only teacher to do that. And it's because I want You to be involved in my classroom throughout the day. The students are part of the prayer obviously, because I pray out loud with the class, for the class, etc. It's not necessarily a good deed, but it does allow for students to praise our Father in heaven.
Other than that, I'm not sure I could come up with many examples of specific deeds that shine before men. It doesn't mean that I never do anything to shine, it just means I can't think of anything right now. But that also doesn't mean that this verse doesn't hold some conviction for me.
One thing I've noticed throughout this fast is how rarely I feel like I have the opportunity to serve and actually do what I consider good works. Now, I accept that perhaps my definition of good works is a little off. But at school I seem to constantly be trying to keep hold of my classroom discipline, teach something, get people to pay attention...it certainly feels like I do more strong-arming than serving. What I truly desire is a change in my perception, I want You to show me where I can live a life that serves. Where am I missing opportunities? Where could I allow myself to be broken a bit more? Because I feel this is the way of Christ, Your way that will allow more people to praise my Father in heaven, You.
Dear Lord,
I pray today that You provide opportunity to serve and that I see and do not go the other way. Allow me to do the little things, the medium things, and the big things that allow people to praise You. Begin to transform me to make this service and brokenness part of my being, my attitude, my attention, and just a part of who I am. I thank You that You dwell with us and are constantly working and calling us to be something more, to be light to the world. Never stop calling, help me to answer.
Through Christ and in the Holy Spirit I pray. Amen.
You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.
Love, love, love this verse. It's not like today is my first time reading it. I make my students study this verse in connection with the verse where You said: "While I am in the world I am the light of the world." It's amazing that this with this whole study of light, we find that where You dwell there is light, life, and provision. Then You come and dwell in human flesh among us and proclaim that You are the light of the world. Yes, because at that time You were dwelling among us. Then, it what is a most radical statement, You declared that we were the light of the world. It's radical in two ways that I see: You are giving responsibilities to humans and also it means that You dwell among us, because only where You dwell is there true light, life, and provision.
So, how is my life bringing light to everyone in the house? Do I have good deeds that are shining forth, allowing people to praise You, my Father in heaven? When I turn the spotlight on my life, I think there are certainly ways about my life that do help people see You. In my teaching, I make sure to start everyday with a prayer. I know that besides our sixth grade teacher I am the only teacher to do that. And it's because I want You to be involved in my classroom throughout the day. The students are part of the prayer obviously, because I pray out loud with the class, for the class, etc. It's not necessarily a good deed, but it does allow for students to praise our Father in heaven.
Other than that, I'm not sure I could come up with many examples of specific deeds that shine before men. It doesn't mean that I never do anything to shine, it just means I can't think of anything right now. But that also doesn't mean that this verse doesn't hold some conviction for me.
One thing I've noticed throughout this fast is how rarely I feel like I have the opportunity to serve and actually do what I consider good works. Now, I accept that perhaps my definition of good works is a little off. But at school I seem to constantly be trying to keep hold of my classroom discipline, teach something, get people to pay attention...it certainly feels like I do more strong-arming than serving. What I truly desire is a change in my perception, I want You to show me where I can live a life that serves. Where am I missing opportunities? Where could I allow myself to be broken a bit more? Because I feel this is the way of Christ, Your way that will allow more people to praise my Father in heaven, You.
Dear Lord,
I pray today that You provide opportunity to serve and that I see and do not go the other way. Allow me to do the little things, the medium things, and the big things that allow people to praise You. Begin to transform me to make this service and brokenness part of my being, my attitude, my attention, and just a part of who I am. I thank You that You dwell with us and are constantly working and calling us to be something more, to be light to the world. Never stop calling, help me to answer.
Through Christ and in the Holy Spirit I pray. Amen.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
The Good of Many
WEDNESDAY 3.12.08 – 1 CORINTHIANS 10:31–11:1
So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. Do not cause anyone to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks or the church of God—even as I try to please everybody in every way. For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they may be saved. Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.
The very beginning of this verse makes me pause and ponder. "Whether you eat or drink..." Well, I've been doing absolutely no eating for the last thirty-six days and a whole lot of drinking. Milkshakes that is, and juice, and coffee, and water. Lot's of drinking. And while I know that Paul is writing this verse about foods and drinks that were ceremonially unclean to the Jews, it does make me wonder whether or not my drinking is "all for the glory of God."
I mean, there is certainly a part of the whole thing that is for the glory of God, or at least in obedience to God. Fasting isn't something I simply made up, for thousands upon thousands of years it has been a spiritual practice that allows Your people to hear Your voice. It's all over the Scriptures, including Jesus. But as to whether this fast is all for Your glory, well, I know that it is for other things as well in my head. Weight loss, development of proper eating habits, health, receiving joy...not that any of those are particularly bad things but not necessarily do they bring You glory.
What does it mean to give You glory even? I think maybe this is further explained by Paul within this verse. Sometimes it is very hard to put action or even further ideas to some of these Christian phrases that we hear so often. "Give God the glory" is one of those phrases, "exalt the Lord high above" is another, and the list probably goes on. I mean, I can tell what these phrases kind of mean, to give God the credit when things are going well and to declare that God is better than anything else, but it seems like those definitions fall woefully short of what we really are trying to say.
Giving the glory to You I think is maybe further defined here by Paul, when he says that he is not seeking his own good but the good of many. There always seems that there is a battle between my selfishness and pride and Your will. I will undertake something for You and turn it into something about me. This fast is a great example. People always ask about how much weight I've lost, maybe because they don't know what else to ask about a fast. Why can't I use that occasion to talk about the spiritual depth that You are developing in me during the fast, to explain neat it is that something I undertake completely for You also has health benefit? How You are an amazing God and that is being proven to me time and time again? Why can't I say something that is good for them and not just good for me?
My thoughts naturally run to what is the best scenario for me. All the time. Let me follow Paul's example, let me follow Christ's example. Let me seek the good of many. This means I will need Your wisdom and Your eyes throughout the day, and a change of mindset. Only You can transform me. Give me the undeterred will to change, give me a fresh heart, and allow me to remember the transformative works You have done before in my life. I am prepared for another journey, one where painful selfishness is pointed out. Let Your Spirit come work in me.
So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. Do not cause anyone to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks or the church of God—even as I try to please everybody in every way. For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they may be saved. Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.
The very beginning of this verse makes me pause and ponder. "Whether you eat or drink..." Well, I've been doing absolutely no eating for the last thirty-six days and a whole lot of drinking. Milkshakes that is, and juice, and coffee, and water. Lot's of drinking. And while I know that Paul is writing this verse about foods and drinks that were ceremonially unclean to the Jews, it does make me wonder whether or not my drinking is "all for the glory of God."
I mean, there is certainly a part of the whole thing that is for the glory of God, or at least in obedience to God. Fasting isn't something I simply made up, for thousands upon thousands of years it has been a spiritual practice that allows Your people to hear Your voice. It's all over the Scriptures, including Jesus. But as to whether this fast is all for Your glory, well, I know that it is for other things as well in my head. Weight loss, development of proper eating habits, health, receiving joy...not that any of those are particularly bad things but not necessarily do they bring You glory.
What does it mean to give You glory even? I think maybe this is further explained by Paul within this verse. Sometimes it is very hard to put action or even further ideas to some of these Christian phrases that we hear so often. "Give God the glory" is one of those phrases, "exalt the Lord high above" is another, and the list probably goes on. I mean, I can tell what these phrases kind of mean, to give God the credit when things are going well and to declare that God is better than anything else, but it seems like those definitions fall woefully short of what we really are trying to say.
Giving the glory to You I think is maybe further defined here by Paul, when he says that he is not seeking his own good but the good of many. There always seems that there is a battle between my selfishness and pride and Your will. I will undertake something for You and turn it into something about me. This fast is a great example. People always ask about how much weight I've lost, maybe because they don't know what else to ask about a fast. Why can't I use that occasion to talk about the spiritual depth that You are developing in me during the fast, to explain neat it is that something I undertake completely for You also has health benefit? How You are an amazing God and that is being proven to me time and time again? Why can't I say something that is good for them and not just good for me?
My thoughts naturally run to what is the best scenario for me. All the time. Let me follow Paul's example, let me follow Christ's example. Let me seek the good of many. This means I will need Your wisdom and Your eyes throughout the day, and a change of mindset. Only You can transform me. Give me the undeterred will to change, give me a fresh heart, and allow me to remember the transformative works You have done before in my life. I am prepared for another journey, one where painful selfishness is pointed out. Let Your Spirit come work in me.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
A Journey from Hopelessness to Joy
TUESDAY 3.11.08 – JOHN 13:15–17
I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.
I'm going to take a break today from commenting on the Lent readings. They've been very formational throughout my fast this year, but today other things are on my mind.
Basically, in my continual struggle through this fast, my eyes have left You my Lord. It happens in cyclical fashion throughout my life, and it's not something I'm panicking over like many times recorded in this blog. It's almost simply a fact, and I feel a conviction to focus back on You and what You are doing in this world.
I notice two specific things that often cause me to either look at myself or lose my joy and hope. Both have happened recently to me.
Number One: Losing Joy and Hope
I certainly have lost some of Your Spirit of joy and hope. To make a really easy observation, this happens when I feel overwhelmed and as if You are not answering a prayer of mine that is good. Instead of just being general, let me give You an example.
This past week I was feeling very joyful and hopeful until we had our teaching meeting on Thursday night. Actually, during and after the teaching meeting I was really pleased and hopeful about the things we were pursuing and may be able to get done. We talked about justice and injustice and how one of the callings of every church and every Christian is to bring justice to situations of injustice. Convinced of this, we began to ask where Exodus can become involved in injustice. We had a hard time coming up with concrete ideas. So we said we'd search this week and went our own ways. We also said we'd pray.
So we have, I have, and almost a week from that...well, I almost typed in here that I've had no ideas. But that's not true, I had one brilliant idea. It's scary and big, but it was a great idea and it came during my one true time of extended prayer specifically about this topic. You see, I was fully intending to rant here in this post that it seems like You're not answering me. In honesty, You did, but it looked nothing like what I expected. So I've continued to look for something like I expected, and perhaps that won't be there until we've taken care of what You did give us a vision for. Honestly, all of this came to me while I was typing here.
Isn't it odd how we completely miss the blessing You give us, and then complain that You are not giving us any attention. But certainly, I had felt hopeless these past couple of days because I felt like I'd been praying for a place for Exodus to fight injustice and You've just been ignoring me, opening no doors, providing no opportunities. And I've felt like I have done my part, searching the Internet, looking for places that want more than money, looking for something that would grab our hearts.
And that caused a hopelessness and sucking out of my joy. But as I realize the blessing of answered prayer, the fact that I really am not paying attention and listening to what You say, my hope is returning. It makes me very joyful to learn that the problem is with me, and not with You. When You are supposed to be perfect, and it feels like there is a problem with You, well, You can see how that leads to a lack of joy. But when You who are all good are proved to be all good, well, You can see why joy returns.
Number Two: Looking at Myself
Sin. Yuck. When I get that feeling of hopelessness, warranted or not, and frustration with You, that's when sin is the most easily active in my life. It makes total sense, I resist temptation in obedience to You, because I believe that it is true that my best life is free of the things You say are sinful. But when I'm mad at You I don't have as much ambition to obey.
That's totally happened to me this week and past weekend. My will becomes so weak in times of hopelessness. It hasn't even been that bad, but it has been there. In the way I treat my wife, I have been selfish and sinned. In the things that I let my eyes linger on, I have been selfish and sinned. In my treatment of students, I have been weary and sinned.
But remembrance, remembrance is the key to obedience. As pointed out in the Abraham story, building the altars to remember what the Lord had done for him. I don't know why I always forget this important part of the Biblical narrative. What You have done for me is great! And recent, and relevant even to my frustration and struggle. You had answered my prayer, giving a way for the community to thoughtfully and worshipfully engage in each other's injustices. And it's an inspired idea, because it came from a time of prayer with You.
Joyful, joyful we adore Thee! For the things that You've done that we recognize: the cross, giving us Your Spirit, rising again, giving life, light and provision. For the things that You've done that we don't see: answering our prayers in unexpected fashion, walking with us through our frustration. Please help us to see this. And finally, we adore Thee for Your numerous blessings: my son's goofy giggle, my wife's arm thrown around my shoulders at night, my possible job change, my tennis team and our journey, my friends at Exodus, the transformation of lives...the glory of the LORD!
Let me walk in Your ways today Lord. Amen.
I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.
I'm going to take a break today from commenting on the Lent readings. They've been very formational throughout my fast this year, but today other things are on my mind.
Basically, in my continual struggle through this fast, my eyes have left You my Lord. It happens in cyclical fashion throughout my life, and it's not something I'm panicking over like many times recorded in this blog. It's almost simply a fact, and I feel a conviction to focus back on You and what You are doing in this world.
I notice two specific things that often cause me to either look at myself or lose my joy and hope. Both have happened recently to me.
Number One: Losing Joy and Hope
I certainly have lost some of Your Spirit of joy and hope. To make a really easy observation, this happens when I feel overwhelmed and as if You are not answering a prayer of mine that is good. Instead of just being general, let me give You an example.
This past week I was feeling very joyful and hopeful until we had our teaching meeting on Thursday night. Actually, during and after the teaching meeting I was really pleased and hopeful about the things we were pursuing and may be able to get done. We talked about justice and injustice and how one of the callings of every church and every Christian is to bring justice to situations of injustice. Convinced of this, we began to ask where Exodus can become involved in injustice. We had a hard time coming up with concrete ideas. So we said we'd search this week and went our own ways. We also said we'd pray.
So we have, I have, and almost a week from that...well, I almost typed in here that I've had no ideas. But that's not true, I had one brilliant idea. It's scary and big, but it was a great idea and it came during my one true time of extended prayer specifically about this topic. You see, I was fully intending to rant here in this post that it seems like You're not answering me. In honesty, You did, but it looked nothing like what I expected. So I've continued to look for something like I expected, and perhaps that won't be there until we've taken care of what You did give us a vision for. Honestly, all of this came to me while I was typing here.
Isn't it odd how we completely miss the blessing You give us, and then complain that You are not giving us any attention. But certainly, I had felt hopeless these past couple of days because I felt like I'd been praying for a place for Exodus to fight injustice and You've just been ignoring me, opening no doors, providing no opportunities. And I've felt like I have done my part, searching the Internet, looking for places that want more than money, looking for something that would grab our hearts.
And that caused a hopelessness and sucking out of my joy. But as I realize the blessing of answered prayer, the fact that I really am not paying attention and listening to what You say, my hope is returning. It makes me very joyful to learn that the problem is with me, and not with You. When You are supposed to be perfect, and it feels like there is a problem with You, well, You can see how that leads to a lack of joy. But when You who are all good are proved to be all good, well, You can see why joy returns.
Number Two: Looking at Myself
Sin. Yuck. When I get that feeling of hopelessness, warranted or not, and frustration with You, that's when sin is the most easily active in my life. It makes total sense, I resist temptation in obedience to You, because I believe that it is true that my best life is free of the things You say are sinful. But when I'm mad at You I don't have as much ambition to obey.
That's totally happened to me this week and past weekend. My will becomes so weak in times of hopelessness. It hasn't even been that bad, but it has been there. In the way I treat my wife, I have been selfish and sinned. In the things that I let my eyes linger on, I have been selfish and sinned. In my treatment of students, I have been weary and sinned.
But remembrance, remembrance is the key to obedience. As pointed out in the Abraham story, building the altars to remember what the Lord had done for him. I don't know why I always forget this important part of the Biblical narrative. What You have done for me is great! And recent, and relevant even to my frustration and struggle. You had answered my prayer, giving a way for the community to thoughtfully and worshipfully engage in each other's injustices. And it's an inspired idea, because it came from a time of prayer with You.
Joyful, joyful we adore Thee! For the things that You've done that we recognize: the cross, giving us Your Spirit, rising again, giving life, light and provision. For the things that You've done that we don't see: answering our prayers in unexpected fashion, walking with us through our frustration. Please help us to see this. And finally, we adore Thee for Your numerous blessings: my son's goofy giggle, my wife's arm thrown around my shoulders at night, my possible job change, my tennis team and our journey, my friends at Exodus, the transformation of lives...the glory of the LORD!
Let me walk in Your ways today Lord. Amen.
Monday, March 10, 2008
Be Like Me
MONDAY 3.10.08 - ACTS 26:29
Paul replied, "Short time or long—I pray God that not only you but all who are listening to me today may become what I am, except for these chains."
Dear Lord, this is probably one of the most difficult texts for me. It seems so anti-Scriptural. There is no humility in this saying of Paul, that is what jumps out to me right away. Often it is hard to jump through that to what I might apply to myself, or to our church, or whatever wisdom this passage holds.
I think a lot of my hang up is Paul. I've read his letters so frequently, had them referenced so frequently, seen the church lift him high above Jesus at times, seen things go terribly wrong in the church because Paul's teachings became distorted...It's just made me frustrated with the written Paul. So sometimes it is hard to separate the fact that what the church has done with Paul isn't who Paul really is, or what he was trying to accomplish. I suppose this is a lot like last year when I wrote that I didn't really like Jesus. What I really meant, as I studied, is that I didn't properly understand Jesus. Now that I've spent a year in Scripture studying I like Jesus, I suppose if I would really get to the truth of what Paul is saying, I would like him as well.
So the question of the day: Paul says that he wishes that all who hear him would be like him, could I say that? Well, to be honest, and maybe this is what is scary, I think I could in many ways. All would be a tough word, because there are some people who are a better example than I am, and therefore they shouldn't be like me, I should be more like them. But my students at school for example, my tennis players, these young generations that I help to guide. I could look them in the eye and say, "I pray that you would be like me, except for these chains."
And when I say be like me, what do I mean? Because I don't mean be a pastor/father/math & Bible teacher/tennis coach. Like Paul, I am talking about the type of person God is making me to be. And I think that that hits the nail on the head. I would be comfortable saying "Be like me" not because I'm a finished project, heck no, but because I am serious about letting You conform me into Your likeness. I don't do a great job all the time. I don't always follow Your voice, sometimes I don't even hear Your wisdom coming to me, sometimes I am frustrated with the Scriptures, etc. But within me there is an honest desire. And that is the part of me that would truly allow me to say "Be like me."
Okay, so I start this by saying I don't like Paul, because this seems a little pompous and not at all humble, then I go on to say, "Yeah, be like me too." Just to put things back in proper perspective..."Except for these chains" applies to me too, but not even close to the way that Paul meant it. Paul said that because he was physically in chains, and in those chains for the preaching that Jesus is Lord. I am in chains too, but they are my own sin bondage. For years and years I have dealt with the same issues, and there oppression is ever present, right around the corner ready to pounce. Thank God for the times of victory, like recently, but the times of defeat are dark and self-chastising times that I don't wish on anyone. It's not really worse than anyone else's sins, but because I do have an honest desire to reflect Christ, it makes me all the more ashamed of myself. So, no, I don't wish people to be exactly like me.
I wish that those who hear me would be like me: Have an honest desire to follow Christ, and let that desire shape your actions. Fast, pray, get up at 5:15 in the morning to seek God in the Scripture, start a church, actively look to serve, be passionate about the Lord.
I wish that those who hear me would be like me, except for these chains: sin is a dark oppression, and the shame that comes with it just as dark. Don't stay in these places, let the joy and hope of the Lord pull you out. Staying and dwelling in your sin, and I say this by experience, leads to lack of confidence and fear. These things belong nowhere in the Kingdom.
Lord, I pray that You will keep conforming me into Your image, that I might say be like me with complete confidence. For while I will explain myself in the relative anonymity of a blog, I could not proclaim this in person to many a person, especially one of "higher rank" as Paul did. Continue to deepen my appreciation for Paul and his desire to be like You. What I want "be like me" to mean, in reality, is "be like YOU." All glory and honor to Christ Jesus forever, Amen.
Paul replied, "Short time or long—I pray God that not only you but all who are listening to me today may become what I am, except for these chains."
Dear Lord, this is probably one of the most difficult texts for me. It seems so anti-Scriptural. There is no humility in this saying of Paul, that is what jumps out to me right away. Often it is hard to jump through that to what I might apply to myself, or to our church, or whatever wisdom this passage holds.
I think a lot of my hang up is Paul. I've read his letters so frequently, had them referenced so frequently, seen the church lift him high above Jesus at times, seen things go terribly wrong in the church because Paul's teachings became distorted...It's just made me frustrated with the written Paul. So sometimes it is hard to separate the fact that what the church has done with Paul isn't who Paul really is, or what he was trying to accomplish. I suppose this is a lot like last year when I wrote that I didn't really like Jesus. What I really meant, as I studied, is that I didn't properly understand Jesus. Now that I've spent a year in Scripture studying I like Jesus, I suppose if I would really get to the truth of what Paul is saying, I would like him as well.
So the question of the day: Paul says that he wishes that all who hear him would be like him, could I say that? Well, to be honest, and maybe this is what is scary, I think I could in many ways. All would be a tough word, because there are some people who are a better example than I am, and therefore they shouldn't be like me, I should be more like them. But my students at school for example, my tennis players, these young generations that I help to guide. I could look them in the eye and say, "I pray that you would be like me, except for these chains."
And when I say be like me, what do I mean? Because I don't mean be a pastor/father/math & Bible teacher/tennis coach. Like Paul, I am talking about the type of person God is making me to be. And I think that that hits the nail on the head. I would be comfortable saying "Be like me" not because I'm a finished project, heck no, but because I am serious about letting You conform me into Your likeness. I don't do a great job all the time. I don't always follow Your voice, sometimes I don't even hear Your wisdom coming to me, sometimes I am frustrated with the Scriptures, etc. But within me there is an honest desire. And that is the part of me that would truly allow me to say "Be like me."
Okay, so I start this by saying I don't like Paul, because this seems a little pompous and not at all humble, then I go on to say, "Yeah, be like me too." Just to put things back in proper perspective..."Except for these chains" applies to me too, but not even close to the way that Paul meant it. Paul said that because he was physically in chains, and in those chains for the preaching that Jesus is Lord. I am in chains too, but they are my own sin bondage. For years and years I have dealt with the same issues, and there oppression is ever present, right around the corner ready to pounce. Thank God for the times of victory, like recently, but the times of defeat are dark and self-chastising times that I don't wish on anyone. It's not really worse than anyone else's sins, but because I do have an honest desire to reflect Christ, it makes me all the more ashamed of myself. So, no, I don't wish people to be exactly like me.
I wish that those who hear me would be like me: Have an honest desire to follow Christ, and let that desire shape your actions. Fast, pray, get up at 5:15 in the morning to seek God in the Scripture, start a church, actively look to serve, be passionate about the Lord.
I wish that those who hear me would be like me, except for these chains: sin is a dark oppression, and the shame that comes with it just as dark. Don't stay in these places, let the joy and hope of the Lord pull you out. Staying and dwelling in your sin, and I say this by experience, leads to lack of confidence and fear. These things belong nowhere in the Kingdom.
Lord, I pray that You will keep conforming me into Your image, that I might say be like me with complete confidence. For while I will explain myself in the relative anonymity of a blog, I could not proclaim this in person to many a person, especially one of "higher rank" as Paul did. Continue to deepen my appreciation for Paul and his desire to be like You. What I want "be like me" to mean, in reality, is "be like YOU." All glory and honor to Christ Jesus forever, Amen.
Sunday, March 9, 2008
Looking Out
SATURDAY 3.08.08 – PHILLIPIANS 2:5–8
Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death — even death on a cross!
First of all, I just want to be honest in saying that the closeness and joy that we had just built feels gone all of a sudden. Well, not completely. I still feel hopeful and joyful but it is not the same attitude, it doesn't rule my day. For some reason I feel burdened with responsibility, like I have a weight of things to do on my shoulders.
I think when we spend a week talking about being a servant, I at first get very excited. Then I think, "Okay, where can I serve, who can I serve?" At that point I'm very ready to do something. But You don't seem to open any doors, I don't end up doing anything, and then I get frustrated and further disinterested.
Makes me think about teaching on servanthood. We've got to be real careful that we don't lead others into this same place of frustration. When we teach on servanthood, we really should have a place for everyone to serve available, an idea or a plan to propose. Otherwise we're just going to excite people to nothing.
It's interesting today that obedience and servanthood go together. Christ was obedient and became a servant. You looked out for every one else's interests above Your own. Maybe this is my continual cyclical problem. Things are tough because I'm judging them by my problems, my struggles, instead of focusing on every one else. Let me be more humble, let me look out for others.
Maybe that is a simple place to end the week. But it is good. And in a time of struggle, I must thank You for the good. Help me to look out for others interests today and be ready to act. Amen
Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death — even death on a cross!
First of all, I just want to be honest in saying that the closeness and joy that we had just built feels gone all of a sudden. Well, not completely. I still feel hopeful and joyful but it is not the same attitude, it doesn't rule my day. For some reason I feel burdened with responsibility, like I have a weight of things to do on my shoulders.
I think when we spend a week talking about being a servant, I at first get very excited. Then I think, "Okay, where can I serve, who can I serve?" At that point I'm very ready to do something. But You don't seem to open any doors, I don't end up doing anything, and then I get frustrated and further disinterested.
Makes me think about teaching on servanthood. We've got to be real careful that we don't lead others into this same place of frustration. When we teach on servanthood, we really should have a place for everyone to serve available, an idea or a plan to propose. Otherwise we're just going to excite people to nothing.
It's interesting today that obedience and servanthood go together. Christ was obedient and became a servant. You looked out for every one else's interests above Your own. Maybe this is my continual cyclical problem. Things are tough because I'm judging them by my problems, my struggles, instead of focusing on every one else. Let me be more humble, let me look out for others.
Maybe that is a simple place to end the week. But it is good. And in a time of struggle, I must thank You for the good. Help me to look out for others interests today and be ready to act. Amen
Friday, March 7, 2008
How, Where, When...The Struggle of Servanthood
FRIDAY 3.07.08 – MARK 10:42–45
Jesus called them together and said, “You know that those who are regarded as rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”
Lord, I don't know where You are this morning. It's like suddenly all of Your presence, all of Your joy, left me. I'm not exactly sullen, depressed, and moping. But... Yesterday was really hard. Finding opportunities in my every day job and life to serve was way harder than I thought it would be. Either my eyes aren't open, or there is a whole lot less chances to be a servant than I thought.
You know, and that plays into today's reading. Rulers often lord their authority over others, but not so with us. Maybe this should be a focus for me today. I am in several places of authority. Teacher, coach, pastor. Where and when do I use my authority to help get things done. How can I instead come under people, to serve them and change their hearts? Do you still serve and not come down in authority when people are being out of line? These are questions I have about this servanthood thing.
I guess Jesus' example is one of pointing out truth. To those who claim to know, he is harsh. To those who don't claim to know, he is gentle. But Jesus was able to make those distinctions quickly, because He knew everyone's heart. Me, I don't know those details. Probably why You then told us to be servant of all, so we don't have to make those distinctions.
I'm kind of rambling on here, I guess what I'm trying to struggle through with You is how does this call to be a servant affect me daily. I want to do this, I want to be serious about Your words. Please help me to do so.
On a completely different note, thanks again for the chapel yesterday. Last minute preparations and still Your Spirit was present. There is no substitute for Your Spirit being involved in proceedings, no planning can make it arrive. I thank You for showing up and making a difference in middle schoolers lives, helping them do what is right. Please continue to show up my life as well.
Dear Lord, thank You for Your Spirit. Let it be active in me today, opening my eyes to the meaning of being a servant of all. Open my eyes for opportunities for both Exodus and myself to serve and fight against things that are injustice. Let my first reaction as a teacher change from being "How can I exercise my authority and power?" to "How can I come beneath these students and support them, helping to change their hearts?" Lord, thank You for joy. Do not let my struggle over how to live out Your Word kill the joy and hope You've given through the Lent season. My hope is rooted in the knowledge that You will help me figure this thing out, and I will be changed more into the likeness of my savior. I thank You for that change, please continue to help me live in the Spirit.
Jesus called them together and said, “You know that those who are regarded as rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”
Lord, I don't know where You are this morning. It's like suddenly all of Your presence, all of Your joy, left me. I'm not exactly sullen, depressed, and moping. But... Yesterday was really hard. Finding opportunities in my every day job and life to serve was way harder than I thought it would be. Either my eyes aren't open, or there is a whole lot less chances to be a servant than I thought.
You know, and that plays into today's reading. Rulers often lord their authority over others, but not so with us. Maybe this should be a focus for me today. I am in several places of authority. Teacher, coach, pastor. Where and when do I use my authority to help get things done. How can I instead come under people, to serve them and change their hearts? Do you still serve and not come down in authority when people are being out of line? These are questions I have about this servanthood thing.
I guess Jesus' example is one of pointing out truth. To those who claim to know, he is harsh. To those who don't claim to know, he is gentle. But Jesus was able to make those distinctions quickly, because He knew everyone's heart. Me, I don't know those details. Probably why You then told us to be servant of all, so we don't have to make those distinctions.
I'm kind of rambling on here, I guess what I'm trying to struggle through with You is how does this call to be a servant affect me daily. I want to do this, I want to be serious about Your words. Please help me to do so.
On a completely different note, thanks again for the chapel yesterday. Last minute preparations and still Your Spirit was present. There is no substitute for Your Spirit being involved in proceedings, no planning can make it arrive. I thank You for showing up and making a difference in middle schoolers lives, helping them do what is right. Please continue to show up my life as well.
Dear Lord, thank You for Your Spirit. Let it be active in me today, opening my eyes to the meaning of being a servant of all. Open my eyes for opportunities for both Exodus and myself to serve and fight against things that are injustice. Let my first reaction as a teacher change from being "How can I exercise my authority and power?" to "How can I come beneath these students and support them, helping to change their hearts?" Lord, thank You for joy. Do not let my struggle over how to live out Your Word kill the joy and hope You've given through the Lent season. My hope is rooted in the knowledge that You will help me figure this thing out, and I will be changed more into the likeness of my savior. I thank You for that change, please continue to help me live in the Spirit.
Thursday, March 6, 2008
The Servant of All
THURSDAY 3.6.08 - JOHN 13:12-16
When he had finished washing their feet, he put on his clothes and returned to his place. "Do you understand what I have done for you?" he asked them. "You call me 'Teacher' and 'Lord' and rightly so, for that is what I am. Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. Very truly I tell you, servants are not greater than their master, nor are messengers greater than the one who sent them.
After really having a great week and a half Lord, I really come to this time today lacking motivation to study or to learn. I wish in this time that we spend together I had more opportunity to do. I feel like I'm starting to feel fed up with learning about action and servanthood and I want a place to be active and show servanthood. Show me today even how I can truly be a servant to my students, my wife, my son, my friends...those who continually surround my life. I suppose that is where I should start.
READ. And why not. Even as I go back to the Scriptures it suddenly jumps out to me that in this display of utmost servanthood, Jesus washed the feet of his disciples first of all. Sure, this was to be a teaching exercise. But Jesus seems to often act as one thing throughout all the circumstances of his life. So many times when I think of broken and poured out for others, I think of the extreme examples in my life. The Aisha's, the Kelly's, the ones I have yet to meet. I don't think about my students, my wife, my co-workers, etc. Am I broken in service to them, bowing at their feet to wash?
THINK. It leads me to thoughts of division. My life is so divided. My spiritual life has been so trained to be about private time with God, devotions or whatever you call it, when You and I are removed from others and I can think and pray alone. The other part of my spiritual life is the time I am trying to be spiritual; going over to Kelly's to pray for her, taking food and money to the Window, heading to church to preach a sermon. Yada, yada, yada.
But where are these things coming to play in the place where I spend eight hours a day? When I have things to focus on besides You, like teaching students how to solve a multi-step inequality, where do You go? Where do these traits that I'm trying to develop and enhance go?
Yesterday I made a list of the teachings that we have done at Exodus, to help me start to think about where I am living them out. All of my thoughts about living them out were somewhere beyond my workplace.
I know I need Your presence deeply in helping to lead and shape the Exodus Community, but if I am going to lead and shape lives at school, You must be in that as well. That's something that is just jumping to my mind now. Please, continue to make my life less divided. Let me carry this theme of servanthood into the lives of my church, but also to my students and to my family. Let servanthood define who I am.
PRAY. Dear God, I pray to You about the example You set in the flesh. Jesus, You came and You walked with all sorts of people. Your closest disciples, "women of the night," the leading teachers of the day, everyday fishermen and even Roman rulers were in Your company at some point during Your life. I dare say that Your attitude toward them all was one of pity and servitude. I believe that You would serve them in any way that would reconcile them to the Father.
I certainly make separations in my relationships Lord. These must be broken down. The more I separate life the more distorted every thing gets. Lord, You have been said to be able to break down every stronghold, and one of the things holding me is this compartmentalization of life. In the holy name of Jesus Christ, by the power of the blood and resurrection, crush this. Let me live today defined as a servant.
LIVE. I must be aware of my chances to serve my students and co-workers, and really anybody else who comes along today. Let me recognize these situations, fulfill them, and remember them. Today I am going to build an altar, a physical representation of the times You allow me to be a servant. It when then stand in my classroom as a reminder to be the servant of all.
When he had finished washing their feet, he put on his clothes and returned to his place. "Do you understand what I have done for you?" he asked them. "You call me 'Teacher' and 'Lord' and rightly so, for that is what I am. Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. Very truly I tell you, servants are not greater than their master, nor are messengers greater than the one who sent them.
After really having a great week and a half Lord, I really come to this time today lacking motivation to study or to learn. I wish in this time that we spend together I had more opportunity to do. I feel like I'm starting to feel fed up with learning about action and servanthood and I want a place to be active and show servanthood. Show me today even how I can truly be a servant to my students, my wife, my son, my friends...those who continually surround my life. I suppose that is where I should start.
READ. And why not. Even as I go back to the Scriptures it suddenly jumps out to me that in this display of utmost servanthood, Jesus washed the feet of his disciples first of all. Sure, this was to be a teaching exercise. But Jesus seems to often act as one thing throughout all the circumstances of his life. So many times when I think of broken and poured out for others, I think of the extreme examples in my life. The Aisha's, the Kelly's, the ones I have yet to meet. I don't think about my students, my wife, my co-workers, etc. Am I broken in service to them, bowing at their feet to wash?
THINK. It leads me to thoughts of division. My life is so divided. My spiritual life has been so trained to be about private time with God, devotions or whatever you call it, when You and I are removed from others and I can think and pray alone. The other part of my spiritual life is the time I am trying to be spiritual; going over to Kelly's to pray for her, taking food and money to the Window, heading to church to preach a sermon. Yada, yada, yada.
But where are these things coming to play in the place where I spend eight hours a day? When I have things to focus on besides You, like teaching students how to solve a multi-step inequality, where do You go? Where do these traits that I'm trying to develop and enhance go?
Yesterday I made a list of the teachings that we have done at Exodus, to help me start to think about where I am living them out. All of my thoughts about living them out were somewhere beyond my workplace.
I know I need Your presence deeply in helping to lead and shape the Exodus Community, but if I am going to lead and shape lives at school, You must be in that as well. That's something that is just jumping to my mind now. Please, continue to make my life less divided. Let me carry this theme of servanthood into the lives of my church, but also to my students and to my family. Let servanthood define who I am.
PRAY. Dear God, I pray to You about the example You set in the flesh. Jesus, You came and You walked with all sorts of people. Your closest disciples, "women of the night," the leading teachers of the day, everyday fishermen and even Roman rulers were in Your company at some point during Your life. I dare say that Your attitude toward them all was one of pity and servitude. I believe that You would serve them in any way that would reconcile them to the Father.
I certainly make separations in my relationships Lord. These must be broken down. The more I separate life the more distorted every thing gets. Lord, You have been said to be able to break down every stronghold, and one of the things holding me is this compartmentalization of life. In the holy name of Jesus Christ, by the power of the blood and resurrection, crush this. Let me live today defined as a servant.
LIVE. I must be aware of my chances to serve my students and co-workers, and really anybody else who comes along today. Let me recognize these situations, fulfill them, and remember them. Today I am going to build an altar, a physical representation of the times You allow me to be a servant. It when then stand in my classroom as a reminder to be the servant of all.
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Actions and Truth
WEDNESDAY 3.5.08 - 1 JOHN 3:16-18
This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for one another. If any one of you has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in you? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.
READ. "Not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth." Apparently, according to the way I read this sentence, the truth is much less a concept to be debated and figured out, spoken and taught than it is a way of life to be lived out.
Man, it's as if this is hearkening back to Jesus' words: "I am the way, the truth, and the life." It makes me think that maybe Jesus was saying something like this: "The way that I do things here on earth is the way you should go about doing things as well, for this way of action is the truth, and the truth is that is all about how you live, what you do...that is life!"
Whatever it is, actions and truth seem to be tied together. I've said for years that if you want to know what you really believe, look at how you live. If you really believe something you'll be doing it. If you are not doing it, you don't really believe it. That thought that I just spout off because it makes sense to me, maybe it actually has grounding here in the Scripture, Lord.
THINK. So the question then becomes what do I believe? Who am I laying my life down for? Where am I giving up something because I see people in need?
Well, I know that I give of myself to my tennis team. I just made out our spring schedule and it involves me going out of my way to make them better tennis players, while I spend most of my days in school preparing the tennis devotionals for next year. I'm giving a big part of myself to them right now, perhaps because I believe that my hard work will be rewarded.
I do give some of my time to Exodus Community. I mean, I can say that without a doubt, if there was a need in Sparky, I would immediately fill that need if I could. And I think that has played out in my actions, so it is the truth. Outside the Sparky group I certainly have to fight with myself and my selfishness a bit more, but I could probably meet a spoken need. Unspoken needs that I might see but haven't been verbalized, these are the ones that I tend to push to the side. I have an excuse not to meet them, because whoever is found needing isn't expressing the need so maybe they don't really want me to interfere, maybe they don't really need help, maybe I'm seeing things wrong, etc.
Interesting to go back to the verse and read where it says: "If any one of you... sees a brother or sister in need..." Sees. Not hears from them that they need something, but if we perceive the need, then we should have pity. Pity? This is all about action, then what is an emotion doing thrown in here? So, I went to look this up in Greek, wouldn't you know that it is splagchnon? Joel taught about this just a little while ago, it is from the root word for bowels. This is deep in your gut pain for your brother or sister. A pain that would have to be answered by doing something.
How many people am I feeling it in the gut for and changing what I do? Not enough. And I don't mean to beat on myself. I need that to change Lord. I have to be willing to be broken, uncomfortable, then poured out. The joy that I have been receiving through this fast will fill me up again. That is to say, You will fill me up again.
There's always more questions. What about time with my family? What do I actually do? And you think about why I prayed for wisdom yesterday! You give wisdom generously, so I pray for that discernment, that creativity to see needs and then know how to best proceed. I want to do things Your way, but I want to act.
PRAY. Lord, help me (and the rest of our community) to committ to being servants. We do such a good job of serivng one another, of caring for one another, let us extend our reach. Not for the sake of growth at the church, I don't want to make it sound like that is the point. Not at all. Because we're supposed to be a people who reaches out and serves. A people who do not make judgments but instead come underneath others to support them, a people who feel it in their guts for the widow and the orphan, a people moving and active according to the leading of Your Holy Spirit. That's who we want to be. Lead us there. Lead me there.
We thank You for the blessing that You are to us. This verse says "if one of you has material possessions" and I have all I need. You are a blessing. I want to act in blessing because of that. I love You Lord, Lord who is making life clearer and also more confusing by the day. I need Your wisdom to do Your will.
LIVE. Okay, so a theme was started yesterday that I think can continue over to today as far as how I live. I said yesterday that I want to practice what we preach, be the type of person who does what we say we want to do. Okay then, I'm going back to the beginning of Exodus somehow throughout the day here and looking at what we've said we want to be. I don't know how long this will take, but doing a general look back might really help me find a way forward.
This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for one another. If any one of you has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in you? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.
READ. "Not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth." Apparently, according to the way I read this sentence, the truth is much less a concept to be debated and figured out, spoken and taught than it is a way of life to be lived out.
Man, it's as if this is hearkening back to Jesus' words: "I am the way, the truth, and the life." It makes me think that maybe Jesus was saying something like this: "The way that I do things here on earth is the way you should go about doing things as well, for this way of action is the truth, and the truth is that is all about how you live, what you do...that is life!"
Whatever it is, actions and truth seem to be tied together. I've said for years that if you want to know what you really believe, look at how you live. If you really believe something you'll be doing it. If you are not doing it, you don't really believe it. That thought that I just spout off because it makes sense to me, maybe it actually has grounding here in the Scripture, Lord.
THINK. So the question then becomes what do I believe? Who am I laying my life down for? Where am I giving up something because I see people in need?
Well, I know that I give of myself to my tennis team. I just made out our spring schedule and it involves me going out of my way to make them better tennis players, while I spend most of my days in school preparing the tennis devotionals for next year. I'm giving a big part of myself to them right now, perhaps because I believe that my hard work will be rewarded.
I do give some of my time to Exodus Community. I mean, I can say that without a doubt, if there was a need in Sparky, I would immediately fill that need if I could. And I think that has played out in my actions, so it is the truth. Outside the Sparky group I certainly have to fight with myself and my selfishness a bit more, but I could probably meet a spoken need. Unspoken needs that I might see but haven't been verbalized, these are the ones that I tend to push to the side. I have an excuse not to meet them, because whoever is found needing isn't expressing the need so maybe they don't really want me to interfere, maybe they don't really need help, maybe I'm seeing things wrong, etc.
Interesting to go back to the verse and read where it says: "If any one of you... sees a brother or sister in need..." Sees. Not hears from them that they need something, but if we perceive the need, then we should have pity. Pity? This is all about action, then what is an emotion doing thrown in here? So, I went to look this up in Greek, wouldn't you know that it is splagchnon? Joel taught about this just a little while ago, it is from the root word for bowels. This is deep in your gut pain for your brother or sister. A pain that would have to be answered by doing something.
How many people am I feeling it in the gut for and changing what I do? Not enough. And I don't mean to beat on myself. I need that to change Lord. I have to be willing to be broken, uncomfortable, then poured out. The joy that I have been receiving through this fast will fill me up again. That is to say, You will fill me up again.
There's always more questions. What about time with my family? What do I actually do? And you think about why I prayed for wisdom yesterday! You give wisdom generously, so I pray for that discernment, that creativity to see needs and then know how to best proceed. I want to do things Your way, but I want to act.
PRAY. Lord, help me (and the rest of our community) to committ to being servants. We do such a good job of serivng one another, of caring for one another, let us extend our reach. Not for the sake of growth at the church, I don't want to make it sound like that is the point. Not at all. Because we're supposed to be a people who reaches out and serves. A people who do not make judgments but instead come underneath others to support them, a people who feel it in their guts for the widow and the orphan, a people moving and active according to the leading of Your Holy Spirit. That's who we want to be. Lead us there. Lead me there.
We thank You for the blessing that You are to us. This verse says "if one of you has material possessions" and I have all I need. You are a blessing. I want to act in blessing because of that. I love You Lord, Lord who is making life clearer and also more confusing by the day. I need Your wisdom to do Your will.
LIVE. Okay, so a theme was started yesterday that I think can continue over to today as far as how I live. I said yesterday that I want to practice what we preach, be the type of person who does what we say we want to do. Okay then, I'm going back to the beginning of Exodus somehow throughout the day here and looking at what we've said we want to be. I don't know how long this will take, but doing a general look back might really help me find a way forward.
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Alive and Active?
TUESDAY 3.4.08 - JAMES 2:20-24
You foolish person, do you want evidence that faith without deeds is useless? Was not our father Abraham considered righteous for what he did when he offered his son Isaac on the altar? You see that his faith and his actions were working together, and his faith was made complete by what he did. And the scripture was fulfilled that says, "Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness," and he was called God's friend. You see that people are justified by what they do and not by faith alone.
Before I jump into today's reading, thank You for yesterday. It was a day that went extremely well. I am nervous and worried about changes at work, how they will all play out, what I will be called to do, etc, etc. I am looking forward to delving more into the ways and the paths on which You've called Exodus to walk. But yesterday, You gave me a sense of peace that all this was in Your hands. And I believed it. I believe it for today to. Thank You for the peace in this fast, and the growing joy.
READ. I always think this verse should be more shocking to people than it is. It's almost like people feel like they know this, so they don't realize that it is talking about them. I don't want to be like that today. Let me see that it is talking about me in some sense.
What jumps out at me? Well, the word useless. I looked up the Greek word used here, and it is literally "dead," or in a translation I like even better, without power. As I've been starting to come to grips with the spiritual, unseen part of faith, where things are happening that we don't understand, being without any power is a scary proposition to me. I want my faith to have some authority.
The other thing is, that if this means dead, then it is no wonder that people aren't clamoring to come to church. It takes me back to what the Pharisees were described as by Jesus, whitewashed tombs. Pretty on the outside but full of everything unclean, rotting and death, on the inside. That is faith without deeds.
Another thing that jumps out at me is the faith and actions working together. Action makes faith complete, whole. There is a sense of incompleteness when we don't act in our faith, like there should be something more. Isn't that what all Exodus felt when we were at River Oaks, that there had to be something more? Action is that something more.
Lastly, "he was called God's friend." Because he acted. Looked this one up too in the Greek, and it means friend or companion. Someone who is standing along side You. In my mind, I am seeing it as someone who is with You even as You are with them.
THINK. So, action is important to make my faith alive, whole, and for me to truly be with You. Problem is, and always is, Lord, that the text is right but doesn't define for me what my course of action is. In some ways I come to this text like a middle-schooler, craving that You would reduce my options and make it more concrete.
Yesterday, I was driving in the car trying to define what I am. You see, I am a middle school teacher who will probably be teaching dominantly Bible next year. I am also a pastor, something I'm slowly coming to grips with in reality (I know, a year after we started the church, but, hey sometimes it takes time). I am a father and a husband. And believe me, I hate in theory the divided life, so these categories are ridiculous but in truth it is what I do. So the problem with action is does it take place within these categories or do I need to add another set?
What I realized in the car yesterday was that in all senses I am a Christian educator. As a pastor that is what I want to do, as a teacher, as a father, even as a husband, I want to help those around me know Your will and follow it. Perhaps that calls for some more concrete action on my part.
It's hard for me to think about what action to take Lord, but as I sit here I begin to realize some things. What if taking action is simply practicing what I preach. I am a big believer in the disciplines, and I preached upon them. I had better be practicing them then. Our biggest fallback at Exodus in our teaching is that You command us to take care of the widow and the orphan and the foreigner. Basically the outsider to mainstream society. I have those in my midst in life, how well do I do at taking care of them? I could go through many other teachings, but...
I think this action idea is taking on clarity. Practice personally what we preach corporately. It sounds so simple. But it is going to take a while for me to get a full handle on that.
PRAY. Lord God, I know that I fall short in this area of action. Too many times I talk and don't do anything about what I say beyond saying it. I confess that it is time for that to stop. What else did You get angry with the Pharisees for than loading people down with heavy burdens and doing none of that themselves. In the name of Christ, I pray You let Your teachings spur ME to action. That the things I say will become the things I do. For I love You, and do not want to be found lacking, incomplete or dead in my faith. All glory to You. Amen.
LIVE. So as I think about what I'm preaching soon, today at school we are talking about "lack of wisdom." James 1:5, "If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God..." Lord, today I am going to practice this message that I am giving to the students. It's a prayer, but as Rob Bell has said in sermons, prayer leads to action.
You foolish person, do you want evidence that faith without deeds is useless? Was not our father Abraham considered righteous for what he did when he offered his son Isaac on the altar? You see that his faith and his actions were working together, and his faith was made complete by what he did. And the scripture was fulfilled that says, "Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness," and he was called God's friend. You see that people are justified by what they do and not by faith alone.
Before I jump into today's reading, thank You for yesterday. It was a day that went extremely well. I am nervous and worried about changes at work, how they will all play out, what I will be called to do, etc, etc. I am looking forward to delving more into the ways and the paths on which You've called Exodus to walk. But yesterday, You gave me a sense of peace that all this was in Your hands. And I believed it. I believe it for today to. Thank You for the peace in this fast, and the growing joy.
READ. I always think this verse should be more shocking to people than it is. It's almost like people feel like they know this, so they don't realize that it is talking about them. I don't want to be like that today. Let me see that it is talking about me in some sense.
What jumps out at me? Well, the word useless. I looked up the Greek word used here, and it is literally "dead," or in a translation I like even better, without power. As I've been starting to come to grips with the spiritual, unseen part of faith, where things are happening that we don't understand, being without any power is a scary proposition to me. I want my faith to have some authority.
The other thing is, that if this means dead, then it is no wonder that people aren't clamoring to come to church. It takes me back to what the Pharisees were described as by Jesus, whitewashed tombs. Pretty on the outside but full of everything unclean, rotting and death, on the inside. That is faith without deeds.
Another thing that jumps out at me is the faith and actions working together. Action makes faith complete, whole. There is a sense of incompleteness when we don't act in our faith, like there should be something more. Isn't that what all Exodus felt when we were at River Oaks, that there had to be something more? Action is that something more.
Lastly, "he was called God's friend." Because he acted. Looked this one up too in the Greek, and it means friend or companion. Someone who is standing along side You. In my mind, I am seeing it as someone who is with You even as You are with them.
THINK. So, action is important to make my faith alive, whole, and for me to truly be with You. Problem is, and always is, Lord, that the text is right but doesn't define for me what my course of action is. In some ways I come to this text like a middle-schooler, craving that You would reduce my options and make it more concrete.
Yesterday, I was driving in the car trying to define what I am. You see, I am a middle school teacher who will probably be teaching dominantly Bible next year. I am also a pastor, something I'm slowly coming to grips with in reality (I know, a year after we started the church, but, hey sometimes it takes time). I am a father and a husband. And believe me, I hate in theory the divided life, so these categories are ridiculous but in truth it is what I do. So the problem with action is does it take place within these categories or do I need to add another set?
What I realized in the car yesterday was that in all senses I am a Christian educator. As a pastor that is what I want to do, as a teacher, as a father, even as a husband, I want to help those around me know Your will and follow it. Perhaps that calls for some more concrete action on my part.
It's hard for me to think about what action to take Lord, but as I sit here I begin to realize some things. What if taking action is simply practicing what I preach. I am a big believer in the disciplines, and I preached upon them. I had better be practicing them then. Our biggest fallback at Exodus in our teaching is that You command us to take care of the widow and the orphan and the foreigner. Basically the outsider to mainstream society. I have those in my midst in life, how well do I do at taking care of them? I could go through many other teachings, but...
I think this action idea is taking on clarity. Practice personally what we preach corporately. It sounds so simple. But it is going to take a while for me to get a full handle on that.
PRAY. Lord God, I know that I fall short in this area of action. Too many times I talk and don't do anything about what I say beyond saying it. I confess that it is time for that to stop. What else did You get angry with the Pharisees for than loading people down with heavy burdens and doing none of that themselves. In the name of Christ, I pray You let Your teachings spur ME to action. That the things I say will become the things I do. For I love You, and do not want to be found lacking, incomplete or dead in my faith. All glory to You. Amen.
LIVE. So as I think about what I'm preaching soon, today at school we are talking about "lack of wisdom." James 1:5, "If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God..." Lord, today I am going to practice this message that I am giving to the students. It's a prayer, but as Rob Bell has said in sermons, prayer leads to action.
Monday, March 3, 2008
Entrusting Myself to Him
MONDAY 2.3.08 - 1 PETER 2:23-25
When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he mad no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly. "He himself bore our sins" in his body on the cross, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; "by his wounds you have been healed." For "you were like sheep going astray," but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls.
Today I think I'll go through this Scripture using lectio divina form in my entry as well as my reading.
READ. "When they hurled their insult at him, he did not retaliate..." This would have been the reaction of the world, this would have been an accepted response, this would have been even common sense. "Instead, he entrusted..." Instead implies that there is a different way, a different action. "He himself bore our sins..." You died for our sins, perhaps another way of saying the reactions of the world, You died for those reactions and actions of ours that are like the worlds. "so that we might to sins and live for righteousness..." Again, You died so that we do not have to retaliate, but can trust. You died so that we might not threaten, but may trust. "You were like sheep..." And we needed You to die for that and need to be continually reminded that You died for that, for we are constantly tempted to walk the way of the world, the path of retaliation and threatening and protecting what is ours, but You have given us an example and a way back to Your paths.
THINK. What word or phrase really jumps out at me? "Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly." The phrase before this talks about when You suffered Lord Jesus, that You made no blustery threats. You didn't threaten God, You didn't threaten man, You didn't threaten Yourself as You dealt with the suffering. When I suffer, I believe I am fairly just in not lashing out at others, but how often my reaction to suffering is to lash out at You, or even at myself.
Recently, there has certainly been a conviction of mine that I am to persevere through sufferings. Again, I hardly know what this means and in my mind its been a lot like, "well, when we suffer I guess we sit back and take it on the chin." To sum up what it feels like to me, I would say that we I think of persevering through trials, it seems very passive. However, this phrase that is jumping out at me, in this phrase entrust is a verb. It is a verb set counter to the verbs of retaliate and making threats. Both retaliation and making threats are active, so to set this word entrust opposite of them makes me feel that it is active as well. And let's be honest, it certainly takes some effort to trust through hardships and through suffering.
I think this "entrusting" theme fits in well with the rapidly more complete focus of my fast: joy. The book of James tells us to face trials with joy. Here Jesus faced suffering and trials with trust. I think the two of these are deeply wrapped up in one another. I listened to Rob Bell preach on joy on the way home from the ski trip this last weekend. He said one of the keys to joy is an appreciation for the gifts that we've already been given. Perhaps this is a key action of trust. Perhaps when trials and sufferings come, we can look back to what You have given us that is good, actively seeking out the places of blessing in our life and actively giving thanks. This goodness and this grace of Yours then allows us to trust that You are just, and that You will work through the bad in our present circumstances to give us more to praise about on the other side of the trial.
PRAY. Dear God, my Father. I want to take time to sift through the gifts You've given in my life. I have a wife that I love and who loves me back, even where's a t-shirt that proclaims it. I have a son who is healthy, adorable, and I love him. I have a community that will struggle for one another, who wants to pick me up when I am down, and who reaches out to one another. I have seen You work tremendously through them, as they have grown healthy in faith from places of hurt. I have all the provisions of money, food, and shelter that I could ask for. Perhaps You are making a way for me to find even more contentment and excitement in my job. You are a God of blessings, thank You, thank You, thank You.
Therefore, I trust where You will lead Exodus. I trust You in helping me raise my son. I trust You with areas of my sexuality and lust that I struggle with, if I follow Your commands these will be healthier and whole. Please do not let me be dragged aside by lies of more contentment, excitement, or fulfillment, for life has proven to me that all these things are better satisfied by You than by the sins of this world. You are the one who makes all things redeemed and whole, therefore I will trust You.
LIVE. How will I live this out today? Simple, a way to keep my mind on You. Every hour throughout the day I am going to write on a note card a blessing that came from You in the past hour. I trust that You will bring me through this day in joy!
When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he mad no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly. "He himself bore our sins" in his body on the cross, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; "by his wounds you have been healed." For "you were like sheep going astray," but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls.
Today I think I'll go through this Scripture using lectio divina form in my entry as well as my reading.
READ. "When they hurled their insult at him, he did not retaliate..." This would have been the reaction of the world, this would have been an accepted response, this would have been even common sense. "Instead, he entrusted..." Instead implies that there is a different way, a different action. "He himself bore our sins..." You died for our sins, perhaps another way of saying the reactions of the world, You died for those reactions and actions of ours that are like the worlds. "so that we might to sins and live for righteousness..." Again, You died so that we do not have to retaliate, but can trust. You died so that we might not threaten, but may trust. "You were like sheep..." And we needed You to die for that and need to be continually reminded that You died for that, for we are constantly tempted to walk the way of the world, the path of retaliation and threatening and protecting what is ours, but You have given us an example and a way back to Your paths.
THINK. What word or phrase really jumps out at me? "Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly." The phrase before this talks about when You suffered Lord Jesus, that You made no blustery threats. You didn't threaten God, You didn't threaten man, You didn't threaten Yourself as You dealt with the suffering. When I suffer, I believe I am fairly just in not lashing out at others, but how often my reaction to suffering is to lash out at You, or even at myself.
Recently, there has certainly been a conviction of mine that I am to persevere through sufferings. Again, I hardly know what this means and in my mind its been a lot like, "well, when we suffer I guess we sit back and take it on the chin." To sum up what it feels like to me, I would say that we I think of persevering through trials, it seems very passive. However, this phrase that is jumping out at me, in this phrase entrust is a verb. It is a verb set counter to the verbs of retaliate and making threats. Both retaliation and making threats are active, so to set this word entrust opposite of them makes me feel that it is active as well. And let's be honest, it certainly takes some effort to trust through hardships and through suffering.
I think this "entrusting" theme fits in well with the rapidly more complete focus of my fast: joy. The book of James tells us to face trials with joy. Here Jesus faced suffering and trials with trust. I think the two of these are deeply wrapped up in one another. I listened to Rob Bell preach on joy on the way home from the ski trip this last weekend. He said one of the keys to joy is an appreciation for the gifts that we've already been given. Perhaps this is a key action of trust. Perhaps when trials and sufferings come, we can look back to what You have given us that is good, actively seeking out the places of blessing in our life and actively giving thanks. This goodness and this grace of Yours then allows us to trust that You are just, and that You will work through the bad in our present circumstances to give us more to praise about on the other side of the trial.
PRAY. Dear God, my Father. I want to take time to sift through the gifts You've given in my life. I have a wife that I love and who loves me back, even where's a t-shirt that proclaims it. I have a son who is healthy, adorable, and I love him. I have a community that will struggle for one another, who wants to pick me up when I am down, and who reaches out to one another. I have seen You work tremendously through them, as they have grown healthy in faith from places of hurt. I have all the provisions of money, food, and shelter that I could ask for. Perhaps You are making a way for me to find even more contentment and excitement in my job. You are a God of blessings, thank You, thank You, thank You.
Therefore, I trust where You will lead Exodus. I trust You in helping me raise my son. I trust You with areas of my sexuality and lust that I struggle with, if I follow Your commands these will be healthier and whole. Please do not let me be dragged aside by lies of more contentment, excitement, or fulfillment, for life has proven to me that all these things are better satisfied by You than by the sins of this world. You are the one who makes all things redeemed and whole, therefore I will trust You.
LIVE. How will I live this out today? Simple, a way to keep my mind on You. Every hour throughout the day I am going to write on a note card a blessing that came from You in the past hour. I trust that You will bring me through this day in joy!
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