I have often wondered throughout this Advent season about the awesome nature of Christ's birth, and why You chose to bring Your presence into the world through a baby. I mean, honestly, You could have just come as an unknown man and been God among us. But You chose to first break into this world in flesh by birth. What a miracle. And by what a miracle, I'm talking about both birth and You coming to the world.
I have all sorts of thoughts to set before You about being a father. Fears to be sure, but also joy, fulfillment, love, doubt, worry, peace and joy. It's so hard for me to not have the physical connection to our son that Courtney has. It makes me feel like a bystander at times, and I am in reality. I know that I'm supporting her, but I really want to hold him at this point.
I guess it's taken a lot of getting there, but what I'm trying to say is: "I'm ready." I'm ready to take that newborn child and wrap him in swaddling clothes and think about how Mary and Joseph did the same to an incarnate You thousands of years ago. I'm ready to take a child and put him close to my heart. I'm ready to hold my wife's hand through pain, watching the real life example of the journey through pain leading to joy. I feel a peace about the birth right now. Some things seem to be in order and some things don't, I guess we call that life. So I'm as ready as I will be.
And while I'm feeling good about the baby, I still long for intimacy with You. I have this hope that the miracle of birth will spur a closeness with You that I haven't felt in a while. Bu I long to have that closeness throughout the experience, from this beginning, from this waiting, until the end. I have given little time to slow down over the past couple weeks. I need some time to slow down and just thank You.
I read an article the other day that talked about a guy who prayed all the time. But he only ever prayed two prayers. "Thank You," and "Help me." That's me right now, simultaneously. Thank You for the joy You are providing to my life, help me take care of him and Courtney. I know in Your strength that I have security. And for that I thank You. I know You've given me supportive family, and for that I thank You. I know that You are with me, and have given me many people who are also with me...
and for that I thank You.
Glory to God in the highest,
and on earth soon, bring Gideon!
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Produce Fruit in Keeping with Repentance (Outro)
So my conversation with Bryan and Joel brought this up again, bringing back to my attention that I've yet to finish this conversation with You. Where I left off the conversation is where I still am, trying to figure out what I can do to prepare the way of the Lord, to promote equality, and to help others.
Bryan brought up such an interesting point last night, and it's implications haunt me. There is need that is rampant all over our world, mountains and valleys all over the place. As a family, or even as Exodus Community, we've been stretched to our financial limits in trying to make the way smooth. We're at a point that for us to keep giving we will need more resources, or to be blunt, we will need more money.
And I hate this position. I don't care what I'm begging for money about, to get things for myself or to get things for others, I hate the position of coming to You saying, "Lord, where can we find the money for this?" What I'm afraid of is that question will become our only question, our only concern. So my thought is that there must be something more than money to make the road smooth.
And what if that thing is more difficult than money? Again, Bryan is a genius Lord (I thank You for putting he, and Joel and Andy in my close circle, I learn more from them than I could have ever imagined). He looked at the narrative of Scripture and realized that You don't always come and take away the problems that people have. You don't always meet the immediate need by solving it once and for all. But You do promise that You will be with us and that should be enough. Strangely it often is enough. What if that is our job too? As we follow You, perhaps we are to be with people right through their troubles, rather than always seeking to take them away. Sure, we can do the smaller, practical things when we have the resources, but maybe it's more important to be there.
I know that is true in my heart. I don't know why I type "maybe." It's a scary thought, that is why. I know that my wife wouldn't necessarily be all that excited about spending more time with different people. I know that with Gideon's arrival coming soon we don't have a whole lot of time for being more intentionally with others. But how serious are we about the gospel?
Christ, I lay myself at Your feet this morning. Break me open for people today. Let me just be that simple.
I love You Lord. The real You. The more I see of You, the more glorious Your ways become. Continue to speak to me, reveal Your truth close to me.
Bryan brought up such an interesting point last night, and it's implications haunt me. There is need that is rampant all over our world, mountains and valleys all over the place. As a family, or even as Exodus Community, we've been stretched to our financial limits in trying to make the way smooth. We're at a point that for us to keep giving we will need more resources, or to be blunt, we will need more money.
And I hate this position. I don't care what I'm begging for money about, to get things for myself or to get things for others, I hate the position of coming to You saying, "Lord, where can we find the money for this?" What I'm afraid of is that question will become our only question, our only concern. So my thought is that there must be something more than money to make the road smooth.
And what if that thing is more difficult than money? Again, Bryan is a genius Lord (I thank You for putting he, and Joel and Andy in my close circle, I learn more from them than I could have ever imagined). He looked at the narrative of Scripture and realized that You don't always come and take away the problems that people have. You don't always meet the immediate need by solving it once and for all. But You do promise that You will be with us and that should be enough. Strangely it often is enough. What if that is our job too? As we follow You, perhaps we are to be with people right through their troubles, rather than always seeking to take them away. Sure, we can do the smaller, practical things when we have the resources, but maybe it's more important to be there.
I know that is true in my heart. I don't know why I type "maybe." It's a scary thought, that is why. I know that my wife wouldn't necessarily be all that excited about spending more time with different people. I know that with Gideon's arrival coming soon we don't have a whole lot of time for being more intentionally with others. But how serious are we about the gospel?
Christ, I lay myself at Your feet this morning. Break me open for people today. Let me just be that simple.
I love You Lord. The real You. The more I see of You, the more glorious Your ways become. Continue to speak to me, reveal Your truth close to me.
Friday, December 7, 2007
Produce Fruit in Keeping with Repentance (Body)
So my question as we ended yesterday Lord was how do we prepare ourselves for You, for what You are doing? As Scripture would put it, how do we prepare the way of the Lord? Well, of course that Scripture would be a really good place to start I think. The one that speaks of preparing the way. So when Joel read this text last Sunday, I was all ears and eyes for what the text said.
Of course, the idea of preparing the way is found specifically in two places of the Scriptures. One is in Isaiah, which is a prophetical proclamation, the second is in the gospels as John the Baptist fulfills this prophecy. So Joel read this passage from Isaiah:
"A voice of on calling:
'In the desert prepare
the way for the LORD;
make straight in the wilderness
a highway for our God.
Every valley shall be raised up,
every mountain and hill made low;
the rough ground shall become level,
the rugged places a plain.
And the glory of the LORD will be revealed,
and all mankind together will see it."
So, I've never really thought about what this means. I guess, I've thought about the fact that it applies to John the Baptist because he was a voice calling in the wilderness. But I never thought about what it says in regards to preparing for God. The picture that just jumps off the page at me is "Every valley shall be raised up, every mountain and hill made low." When I see this, one single thought came to me. This is talking about equality. Knocking down hills and raising up valleys make all the ground level, a level playing field so to speak.
So I take that hypothesis about equality to the New Testament, to John. How does John interpret what this passage is talking about? In Luke, this very same passage is quoted, and then John goes off on the crowds coming out to him. He tells them to produce fruit in keeping with repentance. In other words, don't just make a big show of coming out to be baptized in the desert in order to show repentance, no, actually get down to the work of preparation. The work of repentance. The doing part of faith.
The people ask John a very good question then: "What shall we do?" How do we produce fruit? How is the way of the LORD prepared? How do we prepare ourselves and at the same time prepare others for the work that God is doing?
John answered: "Equality. Level the playing field. Stop gaining for yourselves and taking from others. Make things equal." Okay, not exactly quoting Scripture there. But John's exact answers were that the man who has two tunics should share with the one who has none, the one who has food should share with the one who has none, the tax collectors shouldn't take more for themselves, the soldiers should not extort more for themselves. The message is simple: make sure everyone has their needs taken care of, don't take advantage of people because you can.
This speaks to me in a lot of ways. Personally, I don't know how much I actually am concerned with this. I mean, I am, for sure...but is my fruit, my response in keeping with my concern and belief? That's a good question to struggle with today? Where should I be giving my tunics? Who should be getting my food? Where can I make things more equal, less rough, so that the glory of the LORD may be seen?
Of course, the idea of preparing the way is found specifically in two places of the Scriptures. One is in Isaiah, which is a prophetical proclamation, the second is in the gospels as John the Baptist fulfills this prophecy. So Joel read this passage from Isaiah:
"A voice of on calling:
'In the desert prepare
the way for the LORD;
make straight in the wilderness
a highway for our God.
Every valley shall be raised up,
every mountain and hill made low;
the rough ground shall become level,
the rugged places a plain.
And the glory of the LORD will be revealed,
and all mankind together will see it."
So, I've never really thought about what this means. I guess, I've thought about the fact that it applies to John the Baptist because he was a voice calling in the wilderness. But I never thought about what it says in regards to preparing for God. The picture that just jumps off the page at me is "Every valley shall be raised up, every mountain and hill made low." When I see this, one single thought came to me. This is talking about equality. Knocking down hills and raising up valleys make all the ground level, a level playing field so to speak.
So I take that hypothesis about equality to the New Testament, to John. How does John interpret what this passage is talking about? In Luke, this very same passage is quoted, and then John goes off on the crowds coming out to him. He tells them to produce fruit in keeping with repentance. In other words, don't just make a big show of coming out to be baptized in the desert in order to show repentance, no, actually get down to the work of preparation. The work of repentance. The doing part of faith.
The people ask John a very good question then: "What shall we do?" How do we produce fruit? How is the way of the LORD prepared? How do we prepare ourselves and at the same time prepare others for the work that God is doing?
John answered: "Equality. Level the playing field. Stop gaining for yourselves and taking from others. Make things equal." Okay, not exactly quoting Scripture there. But John's exact answers were that the man who has two tunics should share with the one who has none, the one who has food should share with the one who has none, the tax collectors shouldn't take more for themselves, the soldiers should not extort more for themselves. The message is simple: make sure everyone has their needs taken care of, don't take advantage of people because you can.
This speaks to me in a lot of ways. Personally, I don't know how much I actually am concerned with this. I mean, I am, for sure...but is my fruit, my response in keeping with my concern and belief? That's a good question to struggle with today? Where should I be giving my tunics? Who should be getting my food? Where can I make things more equal, less rough, so that the glory of the LORD may be seen?
Thursday, December 6, 2007
Produce Fruit in Keeping with Repentance (Intro)
Lord, I've continually been wrestling with these thoughts about "preparing the way." I'm sure I've written some of them here before but at times I forget what I've written and what I've just thought. That happens I guess as thoughts swirl around about a hundred million different things all at the same time.
I've been really influenced by what I've been reading lately, one of which is "Sacred Rhythms" by Ruth Haley Barton. It's a book on spiritual disciplines that are often left undone: solitude, silence, lectio divina, praying without words, etc. One of the interesting things that she mentions though is how we as humans and church leaders are always trying to "programitize" transformation, as if human effort, if directed specifically in the right direction or saying the right things, can make people change. But the truth is it can't. Only God and the person needing transformation can make it happen.
"Well, okay..." I think, "then what are we supposed to do? Wait around for the Lord to act? Only pray? Is there anything that we can do?" As I was going through these thoughts about God making the transformation not human effort, I preached on the golden calf and how Israel tried to take God's power and put it into something that wasn't God's will. They couldn't wait and see how God would reveal himself, they chose the way in which God should reveal himself. And God doesn't honor that type of treatment. God chooses, we wait.
But it doesn't seem to be an inactive waiting. That seems ridiculous, by my experience anyways. I think, what am I just going to sit around? Really? That's all I'm supposed to do? Just wait? Same thoughts I've been having before? In my experience it seems silly to only sit around and wait for God when there are things you could be doing. For example, praying that you will find a job when you are not actively looking, putting in resumes, etc. It seems like we have to do our part as well, right? For whatever it is?
So what's the word for doing our part while still looking, waiting, and recognizing when God is doing His part, the important stuff? Well, Bryan found the perfect word when starting to get Advent worship ready for Exodus Community - prepare. Yes, it is God that makes those big steps, that accomplishes the transformation in people. But what do we do to help God? We prepare or make others prepared. That sounds right.
Wow. Okay, so that's the background to coming thoughts. And that's already long. Maybe I should have been blogging in little bits so it didn't take me forever to get the thoughts out there. And I'm running out of time this morning Lord, so I'm sorry. I guess these thoughts will stay with me through the day and we'll post tomorrow. How do we help people prepare for what God is doing?
I've been really influenced by what I've been reading lately, one of which is "Sacred Rhythms" by Ruth Haley Barton. It's a book on spiritual disciplines that are often left undone: solitude, silence, lectio divina, praying without words, etc. One of the interesting things that she mentions though is how we as humans and church leaders are always trying to "programitize" transformation, as if human effort, if directed specifically in the right direction or saying the right things, can make people change. But the truth is it can't. Only God and the person needing transformation can make it happen.
"Well, okay..." I think, "then what are we supposed to do? Wait around for the Lord to act? Only pray? Is there anything that we can do?" As I was going through these thoughts about God making the transformation not human effort, I preached on the golden calf and how Israel tried to take God's power and put it into something that wasn't God's will. They couldn't wait and see how God would reveal himself, they chose the way in which God should reveal himself. And God doesn't honor that type of treatment. God chooses, we wait.
But it doesn't seem to be an inactive waiting. That seems ridiculous, by my experience anyways. I think, what am I just going to sit around? Really? That's all I'm supposed to do? Just wait? Same thoughts I've been having before? In my experience it seems silly to only sit around and wait for God when there are things you could be doing. For example, praying that you will find a job when you are not actively looking, putting in resumes, etc. It seems like we have to do our part as well, right? For whatever it is?
So what's the word for doing our part while still looking, waiting, and recognizing when God is doing His part, the important stuff? Well, Bryan found the perfect word when starting to get Advent worship ready for Exodus Community - prepare. Yes, it is God that makes those big steps, that accomplishes the transformation in people. But what do we do to help God? We prepare or make others prepared. That sounds right.
Wow. Okay, so that's the background to coming thoughts. And that's already long. Maybe I should have been blogging in little bits so it didn't take me forever to get the thoughts out there. And I'm running out of time this morning Lord, so I'm sorry. I guess these thoughts will stay with me through the day and we'll post tomorrow. How do we help people prepare for what God is doing?
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
Barren
Lord, I'm really trying hard to be alive for You in this Advent season. I'm so intrigued by the idea of waiting for You, the idea that Advent season, when we take it seriously, teaches us to wait in anticipation. To wait in anticipation for Christmas, to wait in anticipation for the coming renewal of all things, but most importantly, to wait in anticipation to see what You are doing in our lives right now.
So, waiting basically is really hard work because nothing seems to be happening. And it's not just me who feels this way. Bryan, who is also trying to take the Advent season very seriously, also feels like this. In some ways, it feels super unfair. We're trying to be committed and take what You say to heart, and yet it feels like Your true presence is far from us. Or worse that we're being ignored.
I know that these times are the hardest for me spiritually. I thrive on being able to feel Your presence, Your leading and direction. Whether that is in the things that I am leading, or in the Bible reading that I do, or whatever else, my faith is built on times of relational closeness with You. When that's not there, I feel dead. And tired. And not really like trying. So it's weird, these past couple weeks, despite the confusion of Your "withdrawl," the deadness, the tiredness, I've tried to push through and see what it is that You want me to hear, what it is that You want me to do.
I'm still waiting.
Maybe that's the point. I am reading this morning through the Christmas story in Luke. I've been wanting to read the gospels again and just finished Matthew, so this morning I started into Luke. I think Luke Christmas story is the most awesome, not because it goes into the most detail about Christ's birth (which it does) but because it also sets up Christ's birth with the birth of John the Baptist, the one who prepares the way for the Lord. I think it is a very neat account in the first chapter of Luke about preparing.
That's kind of what Advent is about to. Well, not kind of. That is what Advent is about. As you wait for Christmas and for Christ to arrive, you prepare yourself and I suppose others for what He is going to do. Okay. So this tale of John the Baptist is crucial in Advent, because this is a tale of waiting and preparation.
As I'm reading, the word that just jumped right off the page at me was barren. "Because Elizabeth was barren..." Just kind of a random word, just factual, informing us why Zechariah and Elizabeth didn't have any children. But very descriptive of where I feel I am at in my waiting and preparation. Interesting to that Elizabeth was barren, the child she does have ends up going to the wilderness to prepare the way for the Lord. He lives in the barren desert. Probably no connection, but it is intriguing to me.
There seems to be many things involved in preparing ourselves and waiting. I am wondering if one of these important elements of waiting is barrenness. Finding yourself in the wilderness, confused and feeling alone. Perhaps it's a lesson of humility, showing us where we get to on our own merit and preparing us to see where God is going to take us.
I am sure it is part of the process, but Lord, I am not okay being here. Please help me to wait in this barren wilderness until You are truly leading me out.
So, waiting basically is really hard work because nothing seems to be happening. And it's not just me who feels this way. Bryan, who is also trying to take the Advent season very seriously, also feels like this. In some ways, it feels super unfair. We're trying to be committed and take what You say to heart, and yet it feels like Your true presence is far from us. Or worse that we're being ignored.
I know that these times are the hardest for me spiritually. I thrive on being able to feel Your presence, Your leading and direction. Whether that is in the things that I am leading, or in the Bible reading that I do, or whatever else, my faith is built on times of relational closeness with You. When that's not there, I feel dead. And tired. And not really like trying. So it's weird, these past couple weeks, despite the confusion of Your "withdrawl," the deadness, the tiredness, I've tried to push through and see what it is that You want me to hear, what it is that You want me to do.
I'm still waiting.
Maybe that's the point. I am reading this morning through the Christmas story in Luke. I've been wanting to read the gospels again and just finished Matthew, so this morning I started into Luke. I think Luke Christmas story is the most awesome, not because it goes into the most detail about Christ's birth (which it does) but because it also sets up Christ's birth with the birth of John the Baptist, the one who prepares the way for the Lord. I think it is a very neat account in the first chapter of Luke about preparing.
That's kind of what Advent is about to. Well, not kind of. That is what Advent is about. As you wait for Christmas and for Christ to arrive, you prepare yourself and I suppose others for what He is going to do. Okay. So this tale of John the Baptist is crucial in Advent, because this is a tale of waiting and preparation.
As I'm reading, the word that just jumped right off the page at me was barren. "Because Elizabeth was barren..." Just kind of a random word, just factual, informing us why Zechariah and Elizabeth didn't have any children. But very descriptive of where I feel I am at in my waiting and preparation. Interesting to that Elizabeth was barren, the child she does have ends up going to the wilderness to prepare the way for the Lord. He lives in the barren desert. Probably no connection, but it is intriguing to me.
There seems to be many things involved in preparing ourselves and waiting. I am wondering if one of these important elements of waiting is barrenness. Finding yourself in the wilderness, confused and feeling alone. Perhaps it's a lesson of humility, showing us where we get to on our own merit and preparing us to see where God is going to take us.
I am sure it is part of the process, but Lord, I am not okay being here. Please help me to wait in this barren wilderness until You are truly leading me out.
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