A Developing Joy

FRIDAY 2.29.08 - REVELATION 1:12-18
And when I turned I saw seven golden lampstands, and among the lampstands was someone "like a son of man," dressed in a robe reaching down to his feet and with a golden sash around his chest. His head and hair were white like wool, white as snow, and his eyes were like blazing fire. His feet were like bronze glowing in a furnace, and his voice was like the sound of rushing waters. In his right hand he held seven stars, and out of his mouth came a sharp double-edged sword. His face was like the sun shining in all its brilliance. When I saw him, I fell at his feet as though dead. Then he placed his right hand on me and said: "Do not be afraid. I am the First and the Last. I am the Living One: I was dead, and behold I am alive for ever and ever! And I hold the keys of death and Hades."

Well, as far as the fast goes today is the halfway point. Resurrection Sunday is only 23 days away, as weird as that sounds that Resurrection Sunday is in March. As far as things are going, well, I have to shake my head in amazement at the way that You work. It's amazing how You accomplish exactly what we set out to accomplish while it takes me like twenty days to figure out what is going on. Last summer, when I decided that I would undertake a fast, the motivating factor was that I have never truly experienced joy on Resurrection Sunday. Oh, I've been wow'ed by cantatas, I've thought deep and hard about Jesus death for me (and the whole rest of the world), and I've even become emotion at the fact that we sent our Savior to the cross to save us, and yet don't always live in right gratefulness for that. I guess I've experienced a gamit of emotions on Resurrection Sunday, but they've typically been ones better suited for "Good" Friday. Usually guilt, sadness, remorse, remorseful praise, and the like. I guess maybe that's not a gamit is it, it's too one-sided.

So joy on Resurrection Sunday. Overall, this last week (starting last week) I have begun to see the work that You are doing in me. Last Wednesday and Thursday I began thinking about joy, not even remembering that it was the reason I started the fast. Then, I taught about joy in my middle school Bible classes. Continually I've been bombarded with this notion of joy. And I think I'm starting to learn.

Joy is the attitude of hoping and waiting. It is the attitude of trusting You that You are true, that You will act in Your time and it will be good. And I see that to have joy come Resurrection Sunday, I need to develop it in my life for all times. Because it's an attitude not a feeling. I may not feel happy this Easter (although I think I probably will because I will get to eat again). But I'm pretty sure I'll feel hopeful, because You are developing that in me throughout these weeks.

And why not be hopeful!? Just read the Lent passage for today. Hair like white wool, eyes like a blazing fire, feet bronze and glowing, voice like the rushing waters. My God, You are a strong, mysterious, and powerful God. And You say to me, "Do not be afraid. I am the First and the Last. I am the Living One: I was dead, behold I am alive for ever and ever!" Wow, what power of words You have. As I seek to find joy for Resurrection Sunday, You were dead, behold You are alive for ever and ever!

That is the reason to hope, this God, You, of bronze and rushing waters and blazing fires, of all power is alive for ever and ever. This God, You, don't want us to be afraid. This God, You, says if I am for you, in all my power and 'kabowd', who can stand against me. Jesus, I rejoice in You! I hope in You!

Take my life, this one You've filled with joy, for I believe it is best used in Your service. As I wait, show me the way to walk. Keep my eyes on You. It is ever the temptation for me to deal with me and then look to You.

You know the rest of this prayer. I am seeking You with expectancy and desparation. Luckily, You are developing in my patience and hope. Keep making me more Your disciple, for I love You.