This is the text that I'm rolling around today in my mind, Genesis 4:6-7:
"The the LORD said to Canin, 'Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it.'"
Okay, so where to start here? Obviously, this is in the middle of the Cain and Abel story, before Cain has killed Abel. I guess maybe I should start with a couple of notes on the text that I have found, specifically about the words and language used. So the phrase "will you not be accepted" actually translates "will you not be lifted up" but that is more difficult to understand, so its been changed. One commentary said that instead of inferring acceptance from God, like the NIV translators believed it to mean, and it might be a lifting of the spirits, like feeling better about oneself.
That's an interesting comment I think, because we know Cain is not feeling good about himself. He is downcast and angry, because Abel's sacrifice has been deemed more appropriate. We also know that he has done something wrong, because God tells him that if he does what is right...this must mean he did something wrong. So Abel did something right, Cain did something wrong, and Cain is upset. His anger possibly comes from the same feeling we were just introduced to in the last chapter, which is shame.
I know that when I do not do right, and I know it, shame is quickly my reaction. And from there I become touchy and easily angered because I am indignant at first. I want to shrug off the sin but it affects my mood and all else. Let's just give an example to make this concrete. Let's say I'm struggling with lust, and then Courtney comes around. She can be as nice as ever and I'll have the nagging like "leave me alone" feeling in the pit of my stomach. It's conviction perhaps, but it doesn't feel nice and so I don't respond nicely. It's what Cain is doing here, but Cain let's it burn much harder.
Interesting then Your comment to Cain. If you do what is right, you'll feel better. How true is that? Even confession begins to lift the spirits. Doing what is right...
That phrase pops up other places in Scripture and I think it is interesting what it entails. In Isaiah 1:17 we see, "Stop doing wrong, learn to do right! Seek justice, encourage the oppressed. Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow." And again in Jeremiah 7: 5-6, "If you really change your ways and actions and do right, if you do not oppress the foreigner, the fatherless or the widow and do not shed innocent blood in this place, and if you do not follow other gods to you own harm..."
Look! It's all about loving others and loving God. It's ridiculous how often that comes up in Scripture! So, our spirits will be lifted as we take care of the others that are hurting around us and as we follow and cling to the one God, You. I've always said that the biggest enemy of our souls is ourselves, but here it is again laid out as what seems as plain as day. Cain is downcast and angry because he is comparing himself to Abel and falling short. Instead of thinking outside himself and "changing his actions" by loving others and by loving God, his solution is to indulge his selfishness.
Doens't that seem like the right thing to do, if you are feeling low and downcast and shamed that you should do something for yourself to pick your spirits up? Take a little time for yourself? Give yourself a little treat? But You, in Your awesomeness, You turn everything around. Feeling down? Go help somebody out. Feeling shame? Take some food to the widows. Downcast because you did something wrong? Go encourage someone who has been wronged and oppressed.
It's beautiful when I think about the glory of Your ways. The way You flip things from the way that we think they should be. It just reveals where Your true place is, and how much true reverence I should have towards You. Every time I come to this book and begin to see what You have laid before for us, even if it is simple, it seems so bold, so fresh, so challenging. That is why You are God above gods. Why You are Yahweh, almighty.
LORD God, the One I bring sacrifice to.
Please accept this time I've laid out before You.
Please accept this servant as I lay before You.
Please show me the oppressed that are before You.
Please show me how to help those before You.
Please lift up the downcast that are before You.
Please lift up the weak who are before You.
LORD God, the One I bring myself to.
Saturday, September 29, 2007
Friday, September 28, 2007
The Right Response from Right Motivation?
LORD, this morning it is really hard for me to separate the blessing from the One who gave it. I keep rejoicing in the day that was yesterday, but it is hard for me to keep rejoicing in You. I am pretty sure its because I don't trust You. I know that sounds fairly blunt and to the point, but why not be. I don't trust that You will bless me with another day like yesterday. Why is that? Now I want so badly to win the Sectional, after the blessing of winning in the first round. I want so badly to be close to You, like I was all of the day yesterday...
The danger is that they are becoming entwined in my head. I keep wanting to think that if I stay close to You, if I do my devtions, if I type on this blog, if I read and study Genesis again, that You will bless me and my team again. The danger is that I keep wanting to believe in the "Pop machine" god where I put in what I owe and out pops a blessing. When my team won, I fear that I feel like a found a formula, a way to bring You to bless us. So now I find myself concentrating and worrying a whole lot more about the next match than I did for yesterday's, and again its consuming my thoughts. Freakin' tennis!
So let me give that to You again. Of course I want to win the Sectional, but more than that I want Your breath and the sweet balance of the last several days to flow through my life. I was fasting for several days to bring that balance back. Now I'm eating again. Should I fast again to try to maintain the balance? Or would that seem too much like I was trying to work the formula? I do want to be in relationship with You and maintain the proper fear-of-the-LORD. Help me to do just that.
Aww, I remember now! Last night before I went to bed I read Psalm 96 and said to myself, I need to read this tomorrow morning to just start my day out in the right way, to continue to build relationship. Here's Psalm 96:
Sing to the LORD a new song;
sing to the LORD, all the earth.
Sing to the LORD, praise his name;
proclaim his salvation day after day.
Declare his glory among the nations,
his marvelous deeds among all
peoples.
For great is the LORD and most worthy of
praise;
he is to be feared above all gods.
For all the gods of the nations are idols,
but the LORD made the heavens.
Splendor and majesty are before him;
strength and glory are in his
sanctuary.
Those are the first six verses, ones that just jumped out at me last night. Sing to the LORD, sing to You, sing praise. You know I have to admit that when our relationship is going really well, worship music seems a whole lot less corny. I do find it interesting that two of the main themes here are "singing/praising" and "declaring/proclaiming/ascribing." It's like the right response is to recognise You where You are, and to declare it to others? Or just declare within our own souls? I suppose that's a good question, but proclaiming certainly has a sense of going out, being heard by many.
So is my right response to Your blessing yesterday to proclaim it? To tell everyone of Your glorious blessing? And even if I do that, am I assuming that because I take the right response that You will bless again tomorrow? Am I bringing the right response BECAUSE I want You to bless tomorrow?
Okay, I guess here's the bottom line for me today. The right response seems to be to sing to You (which is not hard right now) so I'm going to do that. The right response seems to be to declare Your wonder and blessing, so I'm going to do that when I have the chance. Of course I want to win the Sectional, which coach doesn't? Is that part of my motivation? Probably. But should a hint of the wrong motivation keep me from making the right response? I don't think so.
Blessed are You, LORD,
God of the blessing.
You give and You give
and we take and take.
Lord God, help us to give back.
Help us to be a blessing,
for the sake of Your name.
All praise and thanks to You.
Amen.
The danger is that they are becoming entwined in my head. I keep wanting to think that if I stay close to You, if I do my devtions, if I type on this blog, if I read and study Genesis again, that You will bless me and my team again. The danger is that I keep wanting to believe in the "Pop machine" god where I put in what I owe and out pops a blessing. When my team won, I fear that I feel like a found a formula, a way to bring You to bless us. So now I find myself concentrating and worrying a whole lot more about the next match than I did for yesterday's, and again its consuming my thoughts. Freakin' tennis!
So let me give that to You again. Of course I want to win the Sectional, but more than that I want Your breath and the sweet balance of the last several days to flow through my life. I was fasting for several days to bring that balance back. Now I'm eating again. Should I fast again to try to maintain the balance? Or would that seem too much like I was trying to work the formula? I do want to be in relationship with You and maintain the proper fear-of-the-LORD. Help me to do just that.
Aww, I remember now! Last night before I went to bed I read Psalm 96 and said to myself, I need to read this tomorrow morning to just start my day out in the right way, to continue to build relationship. Here's Psalm 96:
Sing to the LORD a new song;
sing to the LORD, all the earth.
Sing to the LORD, praise his name;
proclaim his salvation day after day.
Declare his glory among the nations,
his marvelous deeds among all
peoples.
For great is the LORD and most worthy of
praise;
he is to be feared above all gods.
For all the gods of the nations are idols,
but the LORD made the heavens.
Splendor and majesty are before him;
strength and glory are in his
sanctuary.
Those are the first six verses, ones that just jumped out at me last night. Sing to the LORD, sing to You, sing praise. You know I have to admit that when our relationship is going really well, worship music seems a whole lot less corny. I do find it interesting that two of the main themes here are "singing/praising" and "declaring/proclaiming/ascribing." It's like the right response is to recognise You where You are, and to declare it to others? Or just declare within our own souls? I suppose that's a good question, but proclaiming certainly has a sense of going out, being heard by many.
So is my right response to Your blessing yesterday to proclaim it? To tell everyone of Your glorious blessing? And even if I do that, am I assuming that because I take the right response that You will bless again tomorrow? Am I bringing the right response BECAUSE I want You to bless tomorrow?
Okay, I guess here's the bottom line for me today. The right response seems to be to sing to You (which is not hard right now) so I'm going to do that. The right response seems to be to declare Your wonder and blessing, so I'm going to do that when I have the chance. Of course I want to win the Sectional, which coach doesn't? Is that part of my motivation? Probably. But should a hint of the wrong motivation keep me from making the right response? I don't think so.
Blessed are You, LORD,
God of the blessing.
You give and You give
and we take and take.
Lord God, help us to give back.
Help us to be a blessing,
for the sake of Your name.
All praise and thanks to You.
Amen.
Thursday, September 27, 2007
In the Morning
Well, it's not in the morning at all. It's late at night and I can't sleep. It's been a really good day, absolutely gorgeous weather, spending time being outdoors for most of the morning, then the Sectional victory at night. Amazing. So tonight I can't sleep without stopping to give You praise. I don't always understand what Your hand does and what it doesn't do, but You are certainly breathing into my life right now. The way You made the air so perfect today, shaped the grove of trees I taught archery in, helped my players believe in the skills we've worked on. Unbelievable.
No wonder so many songs talk about You being worthy of praise. That's undeniable on good days like this. (As I type this, I suddenly have this fear that now You're going to put me through some bad days to test me and see if I still think You're worthy of praise on days like that. Don't, please...)
What I actually got on here to say to You tonight is how much I've enjoyed our mornings together this week. Who knows why I ever got away from them. But as I read a psalm to Gideon tonight, I just thought of what a joy it has been to wake up to You this week.
Psalm 5:3, 7
In the morning, LORD, your hear my
voice;
In the morning I lay my requests
before you
and wait expectantly...
But I, by your great love,
can come into your house;
in reverence I bow down
toward your holy temple.
Yes, in the morning...it's been all week that You have heard my voice in the morning. And what have You heard me singing? "Strength will rise as we WAIT upon the LORD." Yes I am waiting expectantly from morning til night from a wisp of Your breath.
And my response? Right now I want to acknowledge that it is by Your love that I come to You. I was listening to a song on the way to work this morning, singing and almost crying with emotion because the words were so true and hit me just right. "Your love endures my back to it." Yes, though I've been so focused on other things over the past several weeks, Your love has endured through it. Even though my back was turned and I was hiding, Your love endured.
So now, in reverence I bow before You. I want to give You Your proper place in my life - in my heart, in my mind, and in my soul: Be first, be above all, be what I am taking my meaning in. And I know that this comes out of a real good day, but with a passion filled heart I say: I love You.
No wonder so many songs talk about You being worthy of praise. That's undeniable on good days like this. (As I type this, I suddenly have this fear that now You're going to put me through some bad days to test me and see if I still think You're worthy of praise on days like that. Don't, please...)
What I actually got on here to say to You tonight is how much I've enjoyed our mornings together this week. Who knows why I ever got away from them. But as I read a psalm to Gideon tonight, I just thought of what a joy it has been to wake up to You this week.
Psalm 5:3, 7
In the morning, LORD, your hear my
voice;
In the morning I lay my requests
before you
and wait expectantly...
But I, by your great love,
can come into your house;
in reverence I bow down
toward your holy temple.
Yes, in the morning...it's been all week that You have heard my voice in the morning. And what have You heard me singing? "Strength will rise as we WAIT upon the LORD." Yes I am waiting expectantly from morning til night from a wisp of Your breath.
And my response? Right now I want to acknowledge that it is by Your love that I come to You. I was listening to a song on the way to work this morning, singing and almost crying with emotion because the words were so true and hit me just right. "Your love endures my back to it." Yes, though I've been so focused on other things over the past several weeks, Your love has endured through it. Even though my back was turned and I was hiding, Your love endured.
So now, in reverence I bow before You. I want to give You Your proper place in my life - in my heart, in my mind, and in my soul: Be first, be above all, be what I am taking my meaning in. And I know that this comes out of a real good day, but with a passion filled heart I say: I love You.
Nakedness, Shame, and Sin
Let's skip ahead to the fall of man. My interest is in this being naked part. Not in the normal perverted way but...why is it nakedness that they are suddenly aware of and ashamed of? I mean, why isn't it something like shame over the fact that they did what God told them not to? When You were walking through the garden, hoping to walk and talk with Adam and Eve, they hide and they are afraid because they are naked. That's weird.
They had never known anything but being naked, and so even if "their eyes were opened," what is the deal with nakedness? Plus, just to continue questioning here, what does it mean that You made garments of skin for them? Is that animal skin or did humans not have physical skin before the fall (which is kind of weird to think about)?
Last question, then maybe I'll look for some thoughts about these questions: And the LORD God said, "The man has now become like one of us, knowing good from evil." It doesn't say anything about the man doing evil before this, just that he didn't know the difference between good and evil. Does that mean that the man could have been doing evil, and because he didn't know that was forgivable. Maybe this ties together in a weird way with the nakedness.
When he was naked, and didn't know the difference between good and evil, man was most likely completely honest with You. He wouldn't have even know if he had a reason not to be. He didn't feel shame over any of his actions, so he didn't need to hide anything from You? So even if he was doing wrong in any case, it wasn't hidden, protected, silent, and thus growing. He would have been much easier to correct as well. So perhaps this nakedness (actually, the way the Bible layers on meaning, I'm sure this is part of it) is symbolic of a complete openness and honesty with God.
When I feel shame I certainly hide it from You. That's why confession ends up feeling so good. It's a chance to be naked again, to walk in the garden. Then there is nothing to hide, I've shared it all and that's all I can do. So today I'm feeling pretty good, because yesterday I kind of gave a rundown to the other pastors at Exodus Community of where I'm at in all sorts of situations.
But can I confess to You that's there is a whole lot more that I'm ashamed of? I'm ashamed of the way I treated You during tennis season. I'm ashamed of the way I view some of my students at school. I'm ashamed of the way I coach sometimes, that I don't demand perfection like other coaches do. I'm ashamed of the way I'm teaching Bible, because the students don't seem to care. I'm ashamed of a lot of things...many that I don't know how to change.
But I'm going to be naked before You today. I had a dream last night that I was walking around my classroom at school, completely naked and all the students were there. But nobody was feeling ashamed. Maybe it was symbolic like this story from Genesis, complete honesty seems scary, but in the end nobody feels ashamed. So here goes complete honesty in our relationship for the day...and then hopefully continuing on.
Great Father of Creation,
Blessed are You, the LORD.
You are calm and patient
when we are sinful and honest.
You are calling and hopeful
when we are walking away.
You are ready and able
when we acknowledge Your presence.
You are God above all
whether we know You or not.
Bring into to the blessing
of a naked walk with You.
Let me take that blessing
and pour it out into the land.
Amen.
They had never known anything but being naked, and so even if "their eyes were opened," what is the deal with nakedness? Plus, just to continue questioning here, what does it mean that You made garments of skin for them? Is that animal skin or did humans not have physical skin before the fall (which is kind of weird to think about)?
Last question, then maybe I'll look for some thoughts about these questions: And the LORD God said, "The man has now become like one of us, knowing good from evil." It doesn't say anything about the man doing evil before this, just that he didn't know the difference between good and evil. Does that mean that the man could have been doing evil, and because he didn't know that was forgivable. Maybe this ties together in a weird way with the nakedness.
When he was naked, and didn't know the difference between good and evil, man was most likely completely honest with You. He wouldn't have even know if he had a reason not to be. He didn't feel shame over any of his actions, so he didn't need to hide anything from You? So even if he was doing wrong in any case, it wasn't hidden, protected, silent, and thus growing. He would have been much easier to correct as well. So perhaps this nakedness (actually, the way the Bible layers on meaning, I'm sure this is part of it) is symbolic of a complete openness and honesty with God.
When I feel shame I certainly hide it from You. That's why confession ends up feeling so good. It's a chance to be naked again, to walk in the garden. Then there is nothing to hide, I've shared it all and that's all I can do. So today I'm feeling pretty good, because yesterday I kind of gave a rundown to the other pastors at Exodus Community of where I'm at in all sorts of situations.
But can I confess to You that's there is a whole lot more that I'm ashamed of? I'm ashamed of the way I treated You during tennis season. I'm ashamed of the way I view some of my students at school. I'm ashamed of the way I coach sometimes, that I don't demand perfection like other coaches do. I'm ashamed of the way I'm teaching Bible, because the students don't seem to care. I'm ashamed of a lot of things...many that I don't know how to change.
But I'm going to be naked before You today. I had a dream last night that I was walking around my classroom at school, completely naked and all the students were there. But nobody was feeling ashamed. Maybe it was symbolic like this story from Genesis, complete honesty seems scary, but in the end nobody feels ashamed. So here goes complete honesty in our relationship for the day...and then hopefully continuing on.
Great Father of Creation,
Blessed are You, the LORD.
You are calm and patient
when we are sinful and honest.
You are calling and hopeful
when we are walking away.
You are ready and able
when we acknowledge Your presence.
You are God above all
whether we know You or not.
Bring into to the blessing
of a naked walk with You.
Let me take that blessing
and pour it out into the land.
Amen.
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
We Will Wait Upon the Lord
Lord, I woke up this morning singing a song to You. There is a hope in my heart right now that I have not felt for a little while. Maybe it is because tennis season is nearing its close. Maybe its because You are showing Yourself to be very good right now in my life. Maybe its because I've been back in the Scriptures, feeling closer to the God of hope.
It's not as if I was despairing before. Its just that I'd lost a bit of my regular optimism. That's easy to have happen when You watch a lot of things that are important to You (tennis matches) not go the way You wanted them to. Its only even now as I type that that I realize how big of a deal tennis is to me. And why not? I get a lot of validation for the work that I do with the students. Probably more validation than any other thing that I do. Hence, I feel like it is the part of my life that I handle the best. Probably the part then that I leave You out of the most, therefore the disconnection that I've felt with You during the season.
A long time ago I wrote about giving up the good. How do I give up the good in tennis? Do You know what I mean? Like, I'm not going to quit (although, I guess if that were the only way I'd have to do some serious thinking about it). Is there another way to give up the good? To give You the credit maybe?
Well, that's something I'll continue to ponder probably. I still want the tennis season to end well. Probably my deepest desire for the end of this season is that we'd walk away with a win in Sectional. I'd even take a first round win but of course I think would could compete for the whole darn title. I've felt myself recently wanting to do "spiritual" things so maybe You'd repay me by letting the team do well at Sectional. Its funny because before the season I wrote a devotional for the team talking about how that isn't the way that You necessarily work, that we shouldn't expect it. But I want to expect it. I want You to act like that. I want You to help us win the Sectional.
Is that ridiculous? I don't know. I don't want it to be my motivation, and slowing it's becoming not the case. But it's always there in the back of my mind.
The song that I woke with this morning was "Everlasting God." I used to not like this song when we sang it at River Oaks, but after doing more study on waiting, and singing with the Exodus Community, I'm beginning to love it. "Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord." I am waiting this morning for You. I have a lot of things on my plate for the next several weeks, between Sectionals, baby showers, pastor's retreats, and simply being the leader You've called me to. I'm going to need strength. Let it rise, let me feel Your breath through the physical things I do today - teaching, coaching, being a husband. Continue to breathe in me the hope that delivers and leads us into a place of strength.
"Our God, You reign forever
Our hope, our strong Deliverer!"
It's not as if I was despairing before. Its just that I'd lost a bit of my regular optimism. That's easy to have happen when You watch a lot of things that are important to You (tennis matches) not go the way You wanted them to. Its only even now as I type that that I realize how big of a deal tennis is to me. And why not? I get a lot of validation for the work that I do with the students. Probably more validation than any other thing that I do. Hence, I feel like it is the part of my life that I handle the best. Probably the part then that I leave You out of the most, therefore the disconnection that I've felt with You during the season.
A long time ago I wrote about giving up the good. How do I give up the good in tennis? Do You know what I mean? Like, I'm not going to quit (although, I guess if that were the only way I'd have to do some serious thinking about it). Is there another way to give up the good? To give You the credit maybe?
Well, that's something I'll continue to ponder probably. I still want the tennis season to end well. Probably my deepest desire for the end of this season is that we'd walk away with a win in Sectional. I'd even take a first round win but of course I think would could compete for the whole darn title. I've felt myself recently wanting to do "spiritual" things so maybe You'd repay me by letting the team do well at Sectional. Its funny because before the season I wrote a devotional for the team talking about how that isn't the way that You necessarily work, that we shouldn't expect it. But I want to expect it. I want You to act like that. I want You to help us win the Sectional.
Is that ridiculous? I don't know. I don't want it to be my motivation, and slowing it's becoming not the case. But it's always there in the back of my mind.
The song that I woke with this morning was "Everlasting God." I used to not like this song when we sang it at River Oaks, but after doing more study on waiting, and singing with the Exodus Community, I'm beginning to love it. "Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord." I am waiting this morning for You. I have a lot of things on my plate for the next several weeks, between Sectionals, baby showers, pastor's retreats, and simply being the leader You've called me to. I'm going to need strength. Let it rise, let me feel Your breath through the physical things I do today - teaching, coaching, being a husband. Continue to breathe in me the hope that delivers and leads us into a place of strength.
"Our God, You reign forever
Our hope, our strong Deliverer!"
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Out of Nothing or Out of Dust?
So I'm questioning verse 27 of Genesis chapter 1 today. It's a really beautiful break of poetry in the story of creation, very much like the rest of the Bible in that it is repeating and very rhythmic if said in Hebrew it seems. The only reason I went to see what the Hebrew was on the verse was because I wanted to see what it meant to be formed in the image of God. I mean, I know what I've always been told, but I just wanted to see why, or if what I've been told was wrong. So here's Genesis 1:27.
In Engish:
So God created man in his own image,
in the image of God he created him;
male and female he created them.
In Hebrew:
Elohim bara adam tselem
Tselem elohim bara
Zakar neqebah bara
So actually when I started investigating this verse, something altogether different jumped out at me. Bara. I know that I've been like all over studying this verb, but then that's probably why it's jumping out at me when I see it. It's one of those few Hebrew words that I actually have a bit of understanding for, all for its full use. Like, I know that bara is almost always translated as "create" and that the actually meaning of the word is something like to create out of nothing. Like I said the other day:
"I've found that it really indicates that something was created where nothing was before. So when You bara' the heavens and the earth, You weren't taking pieces of something and fashioning it into another thing. You were making matter, brand new."
So here it is really interesting that the word bara is used in the creation of man, because we KNOW that You used dirt to create us. That You DID fashion man out of something. That You DID take matter that You'd already created and mold it together to make humans.
Now this seems significant to me, but maybe its not. It seems to me that when we were made in God's image, when You bara'ed us, made us from nothing this was not our physical bodies. This was the part of us that is most truly us, our emotions, our feelings, our intellect, our heart...to sum it all up: our soul. That is the part that is made in Your image.
Then You took the dust of the earth and formed our physical bodies. The word for making man from the dust is yatsar, not bara. The breathing into us was the bara. That's where life comes from. That's why we will never be able to create life from nothing ourselves. You are the one who bara's it. You are the one who gives us soul.
I will rejoice in my soul, the part of me that is like You, today.
In Engish:
So God created man in his own image,
in the image of God he created him;
male and female he created them.
In Hebrew:
Elohim bara adam tselem
Tselem elohim bara
Zakar neqebah bara
So actually when I started investigating this verse, something altogether different jumped out at me. Bara. I know that I've been like all over studying this verb, but then that's probably why it's jumping out at me when I see it. It's one of those few Hebrew words that I actually have a bit of understanding for, all for its full use. Like, I know that bara is almost always translated as "create" and that the actually meaning of the word is something like to create out of nothing. Like I said the other day:
"I've found that it really indicates that something was created where nothing was before. So when You bara' the heavens and the earth, You weren't taking pieces of something and fashioning it into another thing. You were making matter, brand new."
So here it is really interesting that the word bara is used in the creation of man, because we KNOW that You used dirt to create us. That You DID fashion man out of something. That You DID take matter that You'd already created and mold it together to make humans.
Now this seems significant to me, but maybe its not. It seems to me that when we were made in God's image, when You bara'ed us, made us from nothing this was not our physical bodies. This was the part of us that is most truly us, our emotions, our feelings, our intellect, our heart...to sum it all up: our soul. That is the part that is made in Your image.
Then You took the dust of the earth and formed our physical bodies. The word for making man from the dust is yatsar, not bara. The breathing into us was the bara. That's where life comes from. That's why we will never be able to create life from nothing ourselves. You are the one who bara's it. You are the one who gives us soul.
I will rejoice in my soul, the part of me that is like You, today.
Monday, September 24, 2007
Dirt and Breath
This isn't really a new thought, but I think it is really important in any study that I'm doing to point out some understandings that have been and continue to be significant to me. Lord, it's so amazing the thought behind creation and what it means, and how we see it play out even now.
The thing about creation of man that always gets me is how we are half physical, half spiritual. Formed from the dirt, breathed into by Your breath, Your spirit. It's something that has not gone unnoticed by the Christian community recently, as I've heard Rob Bell talk about that, David Crowder has the song "A Beautiful Collision" when this physical and spiritual, when heaven and earth collide. But the meaning behind this is intense.
What I see, is that if I am half physical and half spiritual, to be fully human I must make sure that I am attentive to both needs equally. There is no doubt that the physical life often takes precedence for me: what I am going to eat, what I am going to do, what is going to be pleasurable, what is going to be painful, etc. But how often do I try to balance that with what is important to You, the spiritual?
It's only when there is a balance that I am truly living rightly. Going way back to another one of my blog thoughts last winter, this is probably why we are often instructed by You to sacrifice the physical things that are good. Because they put too much of our attention back on the physical. And we forget to live with our other half.
And just think, it's not really possible for us to be alive without both halves. If You don't take the dust to be formed, we never take shape and never come into being. At the same time, if You don't blow into us we never come alive either.
So where do I find myself this evening/morning? Wondering how I live so blindly to this reality all the time. I have found myself most balanced when I denied the physical almost altogether (when I was fasting). That maybe should be a sign to me of how drastically I must cut back my physical thoughts and actions, and how much the spiritual is lagging behind. What's difficult is to separate myself from all the freaking busy-ness, because the spiritual cannot be attended to well in noise and rush.
So now Lord, even today, less noise, less rush, please, more breath!
UPDATE: As I thought about this through the day yesterday Lord, I realized that maybe there are other solutions as well. For example, when I am heavily involved in the physical things, maybe I can invite Your breath into those. However, I want to be wary of just believing I can keep up the pace at which I live and somehow slow my thoughts enough to bring You in.
By the way, I'm going on a mini-fast this week to remind myself of this reality. Hopefully it will jump start the spiritual to balance it with the physical. I hear You calling me to it, and I don't want to deny that call anymore.
The thing about creation of man that always gets me is how we are half physical, half spiritual. Formed from the dirt, breathed into by Your breath, Your spirit. It's something that has not gone unnoticed by the Christian community recently, as I've heard Rob Bell talk about that, David Crowder has the song "A Beautiful Collision" when this physical and spiritual, when heaven and earth collide. But the meaning behind this is intense.
What I see, is that if I am half physical and half spiritual, to be fully human I must make sure that I am attentive to both needs equally. There is no doubt that the physical life often takes precedence for me: what I am going to eat, what I am going to do, what is going to be pleasurable, what is going to be painful, etc. But how often do I try to balance that with what is important to You, the spiritual?
It's only when there is a balance that I am truly living rightly. Going way back to another one of my blog thoughts last winter, this is probably why we are often instructed by You to sacrifice the physical things that are good. Because they put too much of our attention back on the physical. And we forget to live with our other half.
And just think, it's not really possible for us to be alive without both halves. If You don't take the dust to be formed, we never take shape and never come into being. At the same time, if You don't blow into us we never come alive either.
So where do I find myself this evening/morning? Wondering how I live so blindly to this reality all the time. I have found myself most balanced when I denied the physical almost altogether (when I was fasting). That maybe should be a sign to me of how drastically I must cut back my physical thoughts and actions, and how much the spiritual is lagging behind. What's difficult is to separate myself from all the freaking busy-ness, because the spiritual cannot be attended to well in noise and rush.
So now Lord, even today, less noise, less rush, please, more breath!
UPDATE: As I thought about this through the day yesterday Lord, I realized that maybe there are other solutions as well. For example, when I am heavily involved in the physical things, maybe I can invite Your breath into those. However, I want to be wary of just believing I can keep up the pace at which I live and somehow slow my thoughts enough to bring You in.
By the way, I'm going on a mini-fast this week to remind myself of this reality. Hopefully it will jump start the spiritual to balance it with the physical. I hear You calling me to it, and I don't want to deny that call anymore.
Friday, September 21, 2007
And God Said
Creation has to be one of the coolest stories ever. #1, it's totally unbelievable. Example of that would be that much of the scientific community still will not believe it. I mean, there is something that is coming out of nothing. As I've continued to study the word bara' I've found that it really indicates that something was created where nothing was before. So when You bara' the heavens and the earth, You weren't taking pieces of something and fashioning it into another thing. You were making matter, brand new. That's not possible. That's why it's so awesome.
The Spirit of God (Elohim) is a really interesting thing to me today. It's not something big that I noticed in my study, just small. It's really just one line. The Spirit of God hovering over the waters is meant to indicate that it is God ready for action.
That's just a cool image to me. I relate to sports I guess. As I've coached tennis I continue to preach to the players the importance of ready feet. It's something inspiring to me to see a confident tennis player standing on the baseline, staring down his opponent and bouncing those feet around, ready for the point, ready for the battle. That's the sense I get when I read this. You're there, kind of like stretching out, cracking Your knuckles, rolling up Your sleeves, sly grin on Your face. You know what You're about to do, and You know it's going to be amazing.
Then BOOM! The action comes and its...what? God speaking? That's not very exciting. Why not a God fight, You like the Babylonians. The gods stab each other and the blood falls to the earth and begins creation. That, that is awesome! That is spectacular! That is false.
LORD, You are amazing at flipping things on their head. I know that if You asked my middle schoolers what the most boring lessons are, they would say it is when we just talk. But I've always felt differently. I can feel my heart move when we talk. And You have always defined action differently. There is action and power in speech.
And so there You are, ready for action, hovering over the deep, and You speak. And it is gorgeous. You speak creation. It flows out and covers the earth. You speak and You separate, You speak and the lights shine, You speak and creatures appear, You speak and decide to create us.
Let Your words fall afresh on me today LORD, creating a new spirit and new dedication.
The Spirit of God (Elohim) is a really interesting thing to me today. It's not something big that I noticed in my study, just small. It's really just one line. The Spirit of God hovering over the waters is meant to indicate that it is God ready for action.
That's just a cool image to me. I relate to sports I guess. As I've coached tennis I continue to preach to the players the importance of ready feet. It's something inspiring to me to see a confident tennis player standing on the baseline, staring down his opponent and bouncing those feet around, ready for the point, ready for the battle. That's the sense I get when I read this. You're there, kind of like stretching out, cracking Your knuckles, rolling up Your sleeves, sly grin on Your face. You know what You're about to do, and You know it's going to be amazing.
Then BOOM! The action comes and its...what? God speaking? That's not very exciting. Why not a God fight, You like the Babylonians. The gods stab each other and the blood falls to the earth and begins creation. That, that is awesome! That is spectacular! That is false.
LORD, You are amazing at flipping things on their head. I know that if You asked my middle schoolers what the most boring lessons are, they would say it is when we just talk. But I've always felt differently. I can feel my heart move when we talk. And You have always defined action differently. There is action and power in speech.
And so there You are, ready for action, hovering over the deep, and You speak. And it is gorgeous. You speak creation. It flows out and covers the earth. You speak and You separate, You speak and the lights shine, You speak and creatures appear, You speak and decide to create us.
Let Your words fall afresh on me today LORD, creating a new spirit and new dedication.
Thursday, September 20, 2007
I Don't Have Time/Didn't Want To...
Frustrating when all the things that I have to do get in the way of the things that I want to do, then when I get done with the things I have to do I don't want to do the things that I wanted to do before. So, maybe today I'll get back to posting.
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Light and Darkness
So Lord, I'm picking up my study from where I left off yesterday, which was basically just the first verse of Genesis. I've already explored how You are pure creation and creativity, the genesis of all inspiration. Also, I've looked at the question of what was happening before creation of the earth, and found one rabbi who would say I'm not to speculate on that.
My second thought upon diving into Genesis 1 is about light. Genesis 1, verses 3-4 read:
And God said, "Let there be light," and there was light. God saw that the light was good, and he separated the light from the darkness.
So, the question is, You saw that the light was good, but what about the dark? Are we to assume that the dark is good because in verse 2 darkness was over the surface of the deep. Maybe a better question, is darkness natural and light simply better? Why does the author of this opening creation poem take the time to say that You saw the light was good, but not to say that the darkness was good as well.
It becomes even more interesting as we look at the images of light throughout the rest of Scripture. Darkness is portrayed as lack of knowledge, evil...while light is certainly a continued metaphor for goodness. Light of the world, the pillar of fire bringing light to the Israelites, that You will dwell with us and be the light, etc. So is darkness evil?
Maybe an even better question is where did darkness come from? Because at the beginning of the story, darkness is already there. What the text in Genesis 1 indicates is that God spoke light into creation, and then separated light and dark. There is no indication that You created the darkness. So was that just something previous to the story that we don't need to speculate about? A creation that came from You, just earlier than this account? Or might there be another creative force in the world creating darkness?
Some rabbis I found discussing this on the net note that darkness is simply the absence of light. It is not created but caused. When there is no light, there is darkness. It's an effect not something that is made ("What Creation and Darkness Have in Common," Believing is Knowing)
What is interesting there is the discussion of language. In Isaiah 45:7, we have this on the creation of light and darkness (You are the speaker):
I form the light and create darkness, I bring prosperity and create disaster; I, the LORD, do all these things.
The Hebrew word for create in this passage is bara'. This, very interestingly, is the same word used in the creation narrative: In the beginning, God bara' the heavens and the earth. Now this is suddenly disturbing to me Lord. You created darkness, okay I can deal with that. But on the flip side of this passage is that You create disaster, or evil as other translations have it.
The rabbis that I found discussing this language, this usage of bara' say that bara' is used when something comes from nothing. You bara' the heavens and the earth because they were pure creation, they didn't come from anywhere. You bara' darkness and disaster because they suddenly appear when there is nothingness, in other words when there is a lack of light or a lack of goodness.
I don't know. I am certainly intrigued by the lack of light makes darkness, the lack of goodness creates disaster argument. Mainly it is interesting because it puts the emphasis back upon being a light and being a blessing in order to prevent darkness and disaster. But even if this is the case, then light and goodness should have been first, and then when they were gone we would discover darkness and disaster. The nothingness shouldn't come first, should it? And we know that darkness was first over the deep in Scripture.
Well, this has been an interesting study for now. Maybe this is why I'm not supposed to speculate about things before the story starts, it's too hard. I know this must have been a confusing read for anyone trying to. Sorry, that's how my thoughts have gone today. Back to the text tomorrow!
My second thought upon diving into Genesis 1 is about light. Genesis 1, verses 3-4 read:
And God said, "Let there be light," and there was light. God saw that the light was good, and he separated the light from the darkness.
So, the question is, You saw that the light was good, but what about the dark? Are we to assume that the dark is good because in verse 2 darkness was over the surface of the deep. Maybe a better question, is darkness natural and light simply better? Why does the author of this opening creation poem take the time to say that You saw the light was good, but not to say that the darkness was good as well.
It becomes even more interesting as we look at the images of light throughout the rest of Scripture. Darkness is portrayed as lack of knowledge, evil...while light is certainly a continued metaphor for goodness. Light of the world, the pillar of fire bringing light to the Israelites, that You will dwell with us and be the light, etc. So is darkness evil?
Maybe an even better question is where did darkness come from? Because at the beginning of the story, darkness is already there. What the text in Genesis 1 indicates is that God spoke light into creation, and then separated light and dark. There is no indication that You created the darkness. So was that just something previous to the story that we don't need to speculate about? A creation that came from You, just earlier than this account? Or might there be another creative force in the world creating darkness?
Some rabbis I found discussing this on the net note that darkness is simply the absence of light. It is not created but caused. When there is no light, there is darkness. It's an effect not something that is made ("What Creation and Darkness Have in Common," Believing is Knowing)
What is interesting there is the discussion of language. In Isaiah 45:7, we have this on the creation of light and darkness (You are the speaker):
I form the light and create darkness, I bring prosperity and create disaster; I, the LORD, do all these things.
The Hebrew word for create in this passage is bara'. This, very interestingly, is the same word used in the creation narrative: In the beginning, God bara' the heavens and the earth. Now this is suddenly disturbing to me Lord. You created darkness, okay I can deal with that. But on the flip side of this passage is that You create disaster, or evil as other translations have it.
The rabbis that I found discussing this language, this usage of bara' say that bara' is used when something comes from nothing. You bara' the heavens and the earth because they were pure creation, they didn't come from anywhere. You bara' darkness and disaster because they suddenly appear when there is nothingness, in other words when there is a lack of light or a lack of goodness.
I don't know. I am certainly intrigued by the lack of light makes darkness, the lack of goodness creates disaster argument. Mainly it is interesting because it puts the emphasis back upon being a light and being a blessing in order to prevent darkness and disaster. But even if this is the case, then light and goodness should have been first, and then when they were gone we would discover darkness and disaster. The nothingness shouldn't come first, should it? And we know that darkness was first over the deep in Scripture.
Well, this has been an interesting study for now. Maybe this is why I'm not supposed to speculate about things before the story starts, it's too hard. I know this must have been a confusing read for anyone trying to. Sorry, that's how my thoughts have gone today. Back to the text tomorrow!
Monday, September 17, 2007
Torah Study
A good place for a new beginning, right? So instead of reading straight through the Bible, or going through in chronological order in a year, I've decided to slow the pace of my Bible study for a time. I'm going to take one section of books and try to delve a little bit deeper into my questions, make a little analysis, etc. I figured the best place to start would be the books of Moses, so here we go. Well, actually, You saw that I kind of started musing about this on Friday, wondering at what a pure creator You are, but anyways...
So here we really begin, at the true beginning. It is however, interesting to note that this is not where the Israelites begin counting the years of their existence, as we just saw in Exodus Community that this starts after the Passover event. My first question in coming to this text was this: What was going on before this? If You are from long ago, then what were You doing before You created the earth? Where were You hanging out in Your little three-in-one community of love? Even now, as I think back to Joel's sermon and Greg Boyd's teaching at Mars, You don't claim the earth as Your dwelling place alone. So where are You dwelling? Where were You dwelling?
Interesting rabbinical commentary that I found on the net. It notes that the first letter of the text, Bet or ב , is closed on three sides. According to midrash, a Jewish compilation of teachings, this is because we as humans should only worry about the story here going forward, not in the other three directions. Practically meaning that I shouldn't speculate about the Your beginnings or whatever preceded creation. That's a fascinating idea, looking at the very form of the letter itself to find some interpretation, but I'm not sure its enough to keep the thoughts from rolling around in my head.
So here we really begin, at the true beginning. It is however, interesting to note that this is not where the Israelites begin counting the years of their existence, as we just saw in Exodus Community that this starts after the Passover event. My first question in coming to this text was this: What was going on before this? If You are from long ago, then what were You doing before You created the earth? Where were You hanging out in Your little three-in-one community of love? Even now, as I think back to Joel's sermon and Greg Boyd's teaching at Mars, You don't claim the earth as Your dwelling place alone. So where are You dwelling? Where were You dwelling?
Interesting rabbinical commentary that I found on the net. It notes that the first letter of the text, Bet or ב , is closed on three sides. According to midrash, a Jewish compilation of teachings, this is because we as humans should only worry about the story here going forward, not in the other three directions. Practically meaning that I shouldn't speculate about the Your beginnings or whatever preceded creation. That's a fascinating idea, looking at the very form of the letter itself to find some interpretation, but I'm not sure its enough to keep the thoughts from rolling around in my head.
Sunday, September 16, 2007
A Re-Birth
I've been so frustrated lately with the lack of direction in my devotional times Lord. Alright, I admit that with the time crunch that is tennis season, I've had a difficult task in even making time for our daily chats (as is evidenced by my lack of posts). I want to start afresh and anew, but with every attempt to do that I've found that it's usually just words.
Last week, I did a teaching on Passover. It was an eye-opening teaching for myself, seeing all the ways You connecting this original event to the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus. But the point that really was amazing to me was the idea of Passover as a re-birth. A new beginning. You instructed the Israelites to start counting their years from the day of Passover. They were given a fresh start.
When I come to You in repentance, I often don't feel like it's a fresh start. I feel like I've done something wrong and I owe You. For example, without consistent time in the Word, I am beginning to feel guilty. I feel like I owe it to You to spend that time in the Word. But just by feeling like I owe that to You, it all becomes a chore instead of a joy. When I fasted, when I started this online conversation with You, these times were a joy, not a chore, not something I had to do. Now even prayer seems difficult, even just reading is joyless.
So its with this shame and guilt that I come into repentance, and it is with shame and guilt that I leave. And shame and guilt are not a powerful motivator. I've learned at school, as we try to figure out a new direction for the school to go, that if you focus on the things that need to change, they actually don't change too much and the whole thing ends up dying. But if you keep attention on where you want to be, what it will look like if you change, that's a much more powerful motivation.
So what do I want to look like at the end of this week? At the end of the month? When Gideon is born? When the church grows a bit more? When I'm the Bible teacher (and not math) at Bethany? Where do I want my energy to truly flow from?
I know what I want to look like today. I want to be re-born. I want to be passed over, protected from the wrath I fear. I want to enter into safety by the blood-stained door and then be sent out in the morning into freedom. Give me this clean sheet, grant me the peace to rest in a re-birth.
Last week, I did a teaching on Passover. It was an eye-opening teaching for myself, seeing all the ways You connecting this original event to the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus. But the point that really was amazing to me was the idea of Passover as a re-birth. A new beginning. You instructed the Israelites to start counting their years from the day of Passover. They were given a fresh start.
When I come to You in repentance, I often don't feel like it's a fresh start. I feel like I've done something wrong and I owe You. For example, without consistent time in the Word, I am beginning to feel guilty. I feel like I owe it to You to spend that time in the Word. But just by feeling like I owe that to You, it all becomes a chore instead of a joy. When I fasted, when I started this online conversation with You, these times were a joy, not a chore, not something I had to do. Now even prayer seems difficult, even just reading is joyless.
So its with this shame and guilt that I come into repentance, and it is with shame and guilt that I leave. And shame and guilt are not a powerful motivator. I've learned at school, as we try to figure out a new direction for the school to go, that if you focus on the things that need to change, they actually don't change too much and the whole thing ends up dying. But if you keep attention on where you want to be, what it will look like if you change, that's a much more powerful motivation.
So what do I want to look like at the end of this week? At the end of the month? When Gideon is born? When the church grows a bit more? When I'm the Bible teacher (and not math) at Bethany? Where do I want my energy to truly flow from?
I know what I want to look like today. I want to be re-born. I want to be passed over, protected from the wrath I fear. I want to enter into safety by the blood-stained door and then be sent out in the morning into freedom. Give me this clean sheet, grant me the peace to rest in a re-birth.
Friday, September 14, 2007
In the Beginning...
God created the heavens and the earth. Why?
That's a good question to ask. I've asked before about why You bothered creating man, especially with all the questions that the sin and fall of man brings to mind. But why even create in the first place?
Were You bored? I know in my teaching, some of the best doodling done is during my most boring lessons. But the boredom isn't really the cause of that doodling is it? No, the boredom is the opportunity. They don't feel like they need to pay attention to me or the lesson, so their minds are freed to roam, and become creative.
So what is the inspiration? I mean, when we create as humans, we often have some type of inspiration. I write a poem because of a thought that Scripture has given me, or a student has inspired me, or a dog ran across the road. But what inspired You? There was nothingness before You spoke...
Where did green come from? I see it in the trees, grass, hills, skies, and flowers all around me, but how did You come up with that shade? I know that You were full of love when creating, that You said it was all good but what gave You the idea for valleys, plains and mountains? For sunshine, rain, and lightning? What inspired Your design for cats, Gaby, Courtney, Gideon, anyone?
A.W. Tozer says that everything that You are, You are purely. You are the beginning of every trait and element.
At the beginning, You are amazingly pure creation.
That's a good question to ask. I've asked before about why You bothered creating man, especially with all the questions that the sin and fall of man brings to mind. But why even create in the first place?
Were You bored? I know in my teaching, some of the best doodling done is during my most boring lessons. But the boredom isn't really the cause of that doodling is it? No, the boredom is the opportunity. They don't feel like they need to pay attention to me or the lesson, so their minds are freed to roam, and become creative.
So what is the inspiration? I mean, when we create as humans, we often have some type of inspiration. I write a poem because of a thought that Scripture has given me, or a student has inspired me, or a dog ran across the road. But what inspired You? There was nothingness before You spoke...
Where did green come from? I see it in the trees, grass, hills, skies, and flowers all around me, but how did You come up with that shade? I know that You were full of love when creating, that You said it was all good but what gave You the idea for valleys, plains and mountains? For sunshine, rain, and lightning? What inspired Your design for cats, Gaby, Courtney, Gideon, anyone?
A.W. Tozer says that everything that You are, You are purely. You are the beginning of every trait and element.
At the beginning, You are amazingly pure creation.
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