Weighty Things, Mighty Lord

Anything I say to You today must begin with thanks. My boy finally slept through the night. No two hour crying sessions or anything. As a matter of fact, he only cried for 45 minutes when we put him to bed, which is somewhat bearable, because even though we feel bad for him, we were going to be awake anyways. So, since my last couple of encounters with You have been begging You to help with this, I am truly thankful that it has happened. It is answered prayer.

And with that answered prayer, I can move beyond myself. My tiredness often lends to selfishness. When I've been denied rest, I find it hard to bear the lives (or sometimes even company) of others. But You have given me rest, Lord. At least, I got to sleep through a night!

So, the lives of our community always seem a bit heavy. Here's what I mean: There's always somebody struggling with something complicated, big, sad, or stressful. Rarely is our community operating at a point where all are enjoying life at the same time.

What really pains me, Lord, is to see people who have normally been so filled with joy hit a life situation that just stops them in their tracks. The loss of a job, the loss of a loved one, the never ending search for Your will in their lives, or at least their perception of what Your will looks like. Currently, I should be praying for, on a regular basis, people dealing with these problems... (number of people in parenthesis)

- depression (2)
- need for work (6)
- loneliness (2)
- significant life changes (2)
- struggles with parenting or the tiredness it brings (8)
- significant addictive battles (3)

And my list is probably small. I have so many questions for You when I type a list like this. Is this the way life has been for everybody? What do I tell these people? How do I comfort them on an individual level? What are my prayers doing (because if I'm being brutally honest, instead of seeing people come out of these situations, I've become more aware of people falling into them)?

But then again, if I'm being brutally honest, do I remember to pray for these problems on a regular basis?

What I'm doing by bringing this up in our time today Lord is simply saying this: these things are important to me. These people are important to me. And rather than moan about the weight of the world and the depression and stress that it brings, I'd like to be part of the relief and restoration. Even if that part is only as an observer.

Is there anything too hard for You, Lord God. Act in these situations. Act in the mighty power that saved the entire nation of Israel, and a whole world from the darkness. Act in that power, on our small behalf. Personally, give me the power of attention to pray and stay at You. That's a fun request, eh?

Produce Fruit in Keeping with Repentance (Outro)

So my conversation with Bryan and Joel brought this up again, bringing back to my attention that I've yet to finish this conversation with You. Where I left off the conversation is where I still am, trying to figure out what I can do to prepare the way of the Lord, to promote equality, and to help others.

Bryan brought up such an interesting point last night, and it's implications haunt me. There is need that is rampant all over our world, mountains and valleys all over the place. As a family, or even as Exodus Community, we've been stretched to our financial limits in trying to make the way smooth. We're at a point that for us to keep giving we will need more resources, or to be blunt, we will need more money.

And I hate this position. I don't care what I'm begging for money about, to get things for myself or to get things for others, I hate the position of coming to You saying, "Lord, where can we find the money for this?" What I'm afraid of is that question will become our only question, our only concern. So my thought is that there must be something more than money to make the road smooth.

And what if that thing is more difficult than money? Again, Bryan is a genius Lord (I thank You for putting he, and Joel and Andy in my close circle, I learn more from them than I could have ever imagined). He looked at the narrative of Scripture and realized that You don't always come and take away the problems that people have. You don't always meet the immediate need by solving it once and for all. But You do promise that You will be with us and that should be enough. Strangely it often is enough. What if that is our job too? As we follow You, perhaps we are to be with people right through their troubles, rather than always seeking to take them away. Sure, we can do the smaller, practical things when we have the resources, but maybe it's more important to be there.

I know that is true in my heart. I don't know why I type "maybe." It's a scary thought, that is why. I know that my wife wouldn't necessarily be all that excited about spending more time with different people. I know that with Gideon's arrival coming soon we don't have a whole lot of time for being more intentionally with others. But how serious are we about the gospel?

Christ, I lay myself at Your feet this morning. Break me open for people today. Let me just be that simple.

I love You Lord. The real You. The more I see of You, the more glorious Your ways become. Continue to speak to me, reveal Your truth close to me.