Hear and Act

Texts:
- Psalms 105-108
- Luke 17-18
- John 1:15-51
- Matthew 4
- Luke 4-5
- John 2-4

Lord God, as we sat around last night, weighing big questions in our hearts and examining them through the lens of Scripture, an idea really began to emerge to me. An idea of salvation, a life lived in salvation, a life lived to bring salvation. But it is so big, like all good things coming from You, it is so vast that it is difficult for me to even wrap my arms around it. And now that I've begun thinking about it, I am seeing it in many places throughout Scripture.

The real pattern seems to be that You deliver us, place us into a community of health and truth, and at this point we "know that You are God." We know because we see that You know us. You have heard our individual cries and have acted accordingly. I look all across my life and see the number of times that You have heard and acted and it makes me stop and praise.

- I remember very vividly when I cried out to You in college regarding Courtney. She had broken up with me and I was devastated and lonely. Besides just crying out in pain, my final cry or request was that You would simply be the most important thing in my life, and under that structure that You could bring me out of my loneliness. The day I made that concession Courtney was on the phone with me, getting back together under this new priority set, and You had delivered me.

- I remember how You've acted and are acting in the lives of others, as I have been crying out for them. My uncle, my grandfather, my brother, my sister, my wife (and that is an amazing, recent story), and so many others.

Lord, You hear and act. They go together. They make up the root of knowledge. For me to truly know You I must hear and act. It is the proper response to all You have done for me. So let it be so today.

May I act in a way that lives out all I have heard through Your word. May You be an ever-present light showing me my vast wealth of opportunities. Blessed are You, Lord God of action, moving in response to our prayerful words. May we move in response to Your eternal word and the stirrings of Your Spirit within us. Amen.

Nearing the End

Lord, I only have three days left of not eating for You, and it seems that my ears have been closed off from You. The tiredness has not been a problem and I've even made time to sit, study and pursue during all the crazy basketball that's going on. I guess that I have been hearing rumblings from Your thunder, but they certainly have not been as consistent or grandiose as I had imagined going in to this.

Lord, I long to be near to You. At intermittent times throughout these forty days I have been. But my passion is to prolong this. I'll tell You my biggest problem though, it's life. This life that You want me to live for You is difficult, it makes it very hard to actually keep my attention on You. I want to separate walking through my day and walking with You. And I know that this is false. This separation of You and my life is not a reality in the spiritual realm, because I truly subscribe to the idea that everything is spiritual.

So how do I integrate You into my life, so it doesn't seem as though life is in my way? I remember my parents talking about something that helped change their view of You in life. The entire church did it when I was probably in middle school, it was God-sightings. Taking some specific time in each day to look back and say where I saw You throughout my life, but specifically in that day. It seems like a great idea, a way to be more thankful.

Whatever I do, the bottom line is that the knowledge of what I need to do and the doing, being, feeling, hearing, reality of it are not the same thing at all. I realize that as I look back through this blog, I've come to this same realization multiple times. I feel great about my new knowledge or the new task ahead of me...then nothing really comes of it.

Life changes in action. God moves. God rests. God moves. God rests. There is a rhythm to it all. I move in God. I rest in God. I move in God. I rest in God. There needs to be a rhythm to it all for me.

Worries kill rhythm, they knock me off beat. Let me bring them to You:
- I am worried about Exodus Community, I want us to walk in You but we face many questions ( small groups, denominations, time table, paperwork, etc.)
- I am worried about myself and the people that are close to me and our spiritual maturity, ability to deal with change, think in new ways, be challenged, be a community of TRUTH, deal with spiritual warfare realities, and hear from You.
- I am worried about what people from the outside of the group will think about Exodus Community.
- I am worried that our whole group is worried, concerned, stressed and not ever rejoicing in You.
- I am worried that I am worried, concerned, stressed and not ever rejoicing in You.

Lord, these thoughts fill my mind constantly, like breathing. I need release. Take them from me.

I will fill this Sabbath with Your praise, for You are worthy. Tomorrow, Lord, let me come back with a myriad of ways I've seen You work, that I've been delivered, and that I was called to take part by Your side. I will end this fast lifting You up to Your rightful place, resurrected and living in all life.

Doing and Being

One of my biggest fears is not knowing what to do. I dread that feeling. And I am not talking spiritually here. It really scares me when I walk into new situations, when I talk to new people, when I reacquant with old people. That I won't know what to do or say.

And I get really angry when I'm forced into those situations where I don't know what to do. When Courtney asks me to call and find out why we were billed for more than the price of an appointment, or when I have to go file the home exemptions at the tax office, or talk to the insurance lady at work about adding some type of plan. All things I don't know much about and situations where I am not sure what to do. And am afraid that what I do will make me look stupid or uninformed.

Lord, I'm finding that You are not quite as concerned about what we do as to who we are. You are concerned about who we are being, not always what we are doing? This whole time I've been focusing on what it is that You want me to do, just look at my post on obedience, and not necessarily who You want me to be.

I have a sense now that what You really want from me now is just to BE with You. In that sense You will change who I am, and then my actions will flow out of that. The doing is not unimportant, it is simply an after-effect of the being. If I am the person seeking You I will find You. That I must trust.

So, time to shut up the blog for a while and just be with You. In rest, in relatioinship, in word, in intimacy. As a child as a bride. In obedience and in trust. Being with You will make me who You want me to be.