Giving Up the Good

This is another topic that I've been thinking about posting about for awhile. In the Christian life, in my Christian life, we often think of the things that we want to get rid of. Religiously I am considering the sin that is in my life that I suppose You want me to rid myself of so that our relationship can be closer.

I've never been able to do it. Since middle school I've struggled with lust and all the things that go with it. Right up until today, despite being married to the most beautiful woman in the world, Lord I still struggle. It makes me feel ashamed. It makes me feel ugly. It makes me hate myself. It makes me want to hide myself from You. It makes me feel all wrong. And that's just when I think about it, let alone when I've just done it, caught myself in the middle of it, etc. It's dirty and shameful and... You get the point.

But I'm not sure that sin is what really separates me from You most of the time. I'm almost sure it is not. Here's what I think. I think sin does not separate us because You chose to deal with sin by offering forgiveness through Jesus. Jesus died for me to live and be forgiven. Hence, even though sin is revolting to You, it is ultimately dealt with in my life.

So what keeps me from You? I know there are times when we are far apart, what makes that happen. I believe that it is the good that drives us apart. I believe it is the blessings that my life is full of. I mean, I can honestly say that my life's biggest blessing has been my wife, but the thing that pulled me the farthest from You was my wife as well.

The good tends to be worshipped. The wonderful job opportunity that I could have, the church that I could start, the friends that surround me, the money that You've provided, the food that You've provided, etc. All this becomes so important to me. It is more dangerous in taking over my life because, unlike sin, it has not been dealt with. It is my responsibility to deal with it. You dealt with my sin for me.

I must be willing to give it up. I must be willing to give it all up. Luke 14 calls this the cost of being a disciple. "If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters - yes, even his own life - he cannot be my disciple...any of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple."

I am willing to give things up for You Lord. I am willing, or I will deal with, anything that You want to take from me in order to be more committed to You. I lay it all down before You right now. You are in control. Take what You want. I want You to be in control of the good in me.

I want You to be in control of all of me. So thanks for dealing with the sin by forgiving, and because of that I'm giving up the good.