My question yesterday was who I needed to hear, where the cry was coming from, who I should release from chains of injustice...who? Lord, sometimes You answer me in very frustrating ways.
On Monday I was supervising study hall, walking around the room answering questions that many of the students had about their math homework. One student raised their hand and as I walked over simply stated, "I don't get it." As I started to explain the problem, she began to rant, "I tried that already and it doesn't make sense!" I calmly tried to help her through the correct process, "What is the first step that we take in solving this equation?" Her answer was short and bitter, "I don't know." She folded her arms and looked straight ahead, totally immersed in her own frustration. Of course, her notes were laying open right beside her with the first step to solving the equation listed in bold letters. Her frustration and earnest desire to have the answer were preventing her even beginning the problem. Her frustration was then taken out on me, the teacher, who just wouldn't give her the freaking answer.
Here I am this morning, sitting at home, reading Dallas Willard, just simply spending time with You. I was really dwelling in Your presence, not the frustration and the stress of the question. And then You hit me with an answer that I already knew. But a thought that I definitely needed to hear again.
Who do I set free from the chains of injustice... those who I AM HOLDING IN THOSE CHAINS. The ones that I am doing injustice towards. The ones that I do not find deserving to feel the power of the heavens. The ones who I cannot even bring myself to say their names without bitterness, pride and frustration entering my heart and mind.
So who are these? These are the people of my everyday world. The student with the constant bad attitude. The kids with little ambition and a lot of ADD. Those people who drain my energy and I'd rather cancel meetings with them than go for a half an hour. The mis-translators of Your words, the mis-informed of Your gospel, and the teachers who are responsible for all this misinformation. The Ken Silvas of the world. I do injustice in my attitudes and actions towards these people all the time.
The truth is that You are extremely generous. You sent Jesus to throw open the doors of the kingdom to anyone who would know You. How dare I hold those doors shut in my own kingdom. My will must become Your will, so I have to begin by seeing people the same way as You do... all deserve Your kingdom life. Lord I am envious of those who have not put in the amount of soul-searching that I have and still are offered Your kingdom. Today, begin to make me generous like you.
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