Moses + YHWH = Deliverance

This last week, one of my favorite experiences was our newly started Exodus Community teaching sessions. We meet in my dank basement, filled with storm windows that should be hung outside the house, porch furniture that we currently use to sit on or to hold the two whiteboards that hold our flighty thoughts. Oh my goodness, it is one of the funnest times of the week. Not only am I surrounded with good friends, I also am wading through theological depths and corners and wandering into questions and revelations. I can't quite describe the feeling of those nights without art, and I've not got that done yet, so there's my attempt.

But Joel brought up a really interesting point last night as we watched basketball, that maybe the first part of getting our hands around these teachings is to live them ourselves. I've been very convicted about living the text of the Scripture throughout the past few months, and especially during the fast. So as I rolled my tongue around this today, the taste that just coated my mouth was one of fear. Yea, fear.

Living the text is daunting. The text is immeasurable in its depth. It seems to me that the text is somewhat like a dark sea trench, and if I fall into it in intent to live, I may be as a swimmer with no underwater light. What I mean to say is that the text of Scripture is so vast I am afraid to live it for I know I'll get lost in it.

But that's exactly the point right. It's funny how just facing my fear of this idea made me think of the first lesson we are thinking of teaching from the book of Exodus: Fear. Facing our fears and realizing that if any fear controls us more than the fear-of-the-Lord, then that fear is really our God. And when I sit here afraid to fall into the text of Scripture and thus making excuses, I am making excuses of how to not fall into God, for the text is God and its Your revelation to us.

So, walking past this fear a bit I wade into our next topic from Exodus teaching: that only human participation combined with God's divine hand will bring about deliverance. Deliverance? Deliverance from what? Well, in the text it is deliverance from Egypt, the people whom the Hebrews feared. For us, it is deliverance from what we've made our gods by fearing them more than You, the Lord Almighty.

This makes me finally face a tough question. A question that will help me live. What do I truly fear? For some reason I fear not being sexually satisfied, but that's a rather minor issue compared to others. I fear failure, especially failure to do God's will, to lead well. I fear failing to walk faithfully with the men and women You have placed in my hands. But even more defeating is my fear of conflict and confrontation.

It's strange, Lord, I've always thought that this was somewhat of a good thing, allowing me to settle conflict without anger and such. And one thing that I've always hated was how quick many Christians are to "rebuke" in the name of the Lord. But Lord, I believe that their are really people that I'm trying to disciple that need to be delivered from some thing in their own lives. And to deliver them from that You need my human participation. And the thing is that the participation You need is to be a source of truth for them, showing them their lack of right attitude or understanding. But this presents the opportunity for conflict.

But I go back to this: What I learned with my Exodus teaching group is that Moses + YHWH = Deliverance. I want to bring teaching and discipleship to people's lives, but I can't go it alone. You want to bring teaching, discipleship and deliverance to people's lives, but You can't go it alone. We must be one. And You must be in control.

I'm ready to be delivered from fear. I am ready to fall into the depth of You. I am ready to join You in doing the work of deliverance. Help me take steps.