Living Life with You

On the second to last day of the fast Lord, I don't have that much to say. In fact, only one thing comes to mind: trust. Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord. Jesus in the midst of his deepest temptations and trials trusted in these words. I think that is good enough for me.

I don't need to just trust You with food though. That would be a narrow understading I think. This whole cyclical fast, learning and getting frustrated then learning the same thing again is bringing me round and round to a simple point. The point is that You want all of my life. I hate that phrase because it is so trite and worn, and difficult for those not in the same situation I am to understand.

Maybe it's like this, when Courtney and I got married, we had a line at the end of our vows that when like this, "it is my desire to live life with you." The little idea of "living life with each other" was and is filled with meaning to me. To try to explain, it's that I want to be excited to wake up in the morning next to Courtney and kiss her on the cheek. That sounds romantic and exciting. I want to take vacations with Courtney where the point is just to enjoy one another. That's life! I want to take out the garbage because she asked me last night, and I forgot, and I know that if she sees I haven't taken it out yet then she'll get upset. That's even more life! I want to go round and round about whether she should be looking for a job or continuing to heal from her last one. Living life is the dirty details and the extraordinary rest. Living life is everything.

I think, as I reflect, that this is what these past forty days have meant to me. I desire to live life with You. To find You in my home, my Bible, my classroom, especially and increasingly in my neighborhood. I want to find You in my thoughts, my feelings, my reactions and my actions. Maybe the best way to say it is that I want You to bust through my life and turn all of those "my's" into "our's."

So I give all mine to You. Let's live life together Lord.