Regular Life

I don't really know where to begin today. You know how they say that when things are going good in life it is hard to rely on You? I guess I'm fighting that temptation right now. I mean, things aren't all time perfect: I'm sick and very tired after a fairly long week, classes at school are starting to get to me, I forgot (again) to get a head start on planning Spiritual Life Week. So I've got plenty of stresses that You could help me out with.

The thing is that they feel a lot like my responsibilities, so I feel like I shouldn't bring those things before You. I am the one who procrastinates, I am the one who chooses to get up early in the morning, etc. And yet, since these are still real parts of my life, I do want You to walk through them with me.

And besides that, nothing has to be wrong for me to pray to You, at least that's the way that it should be. I have such a hard time just relaying life to You. I think my number one tag for posts on this site is "frustration." That's pretty remarkable, that I always come to You frustrated. I'm sure that gets tiring for You, as if You are a container to hold all my confessions and places where I've been wronged. I mean, that would kind of relegate You to my psychologist, rather than my Father, wouldn't it?

On the other hand, while I die to tell You of victories, I haven't felt the true joy of anything specific lately. Well, I guess yesterday I did achieve a victory in keeping my "Rule of Life." I desperately wanted to spend some money on Bruno's Pizza for lunch, and I didn't have any except the "house money" leftover from my Menard's trip. Part of my Rule is that I won't spend any money without direct permission from Courtney. But I contemplated and contemplated just going over to Bruno's because she would never know. And yet I didn't. It was very satisfying to know I have some bit of discipline within me.

I also got to go back through the poems that I have written to and about You in the past year. It's fun. I do love You in all Your complexity and ever changing angles. I like the fact that You're not static and neither is Your Word. Together, as one, You are penetrating, convicting, and more importantly to me, inspiring.

And so in mundane life, this was my mundane prayer. I have to say though, with no crisis looming and no mountain top victory, life is still very good. Wife, son, house, job...these things cannot be underestimated. I love You Lord. Thank You for life!