The Community's Role

TUESDAY 3.18.08 – MOSES
The Jewish people still revere Moses to this day. He lead the people out of captivity and recieved the Law right from the mouth of YHWH. But before all of that, God spoke to Moses from the burning bush, asking him to do impossible sounding things. His doubt in God and himself lead Moses to ask God to send someone else. God responds in Exodus 4:10–16.

This week during Lent, Bryan has asked us to consider the role that doubt plays in our lives. Where are we doubting You? Where am I not convinced of the things that You've asked me to do? Perhaps the number one way to recognize where doubt is ruling my life is to look for the places that I am making excuses. As I look at the character and the story of Moses, his excuses jump out at me every time.

Well, I've been trying to work through some hard issues involved with be a leader in the church. And certainly as I work through those excuses have jumped up in my conversations with You. First of all, and definitely foremost, there is a mandate that as a leader I must be honest with the other leaders who are striving to guide the church with me, even when that means being critical of them. Because they are my friends, because I fear criticism coming back at myself, and most of all because I hate conflict, I have avoided this. There is no way that I can call this anything but wrong. The hurtful part for me to think of is not only is it wrong, it is damaging to the community. So certainly, there is fear and doubt in that situation.

Doubt #1: Will honesty really leave people in a place of health, even when it provokes conflict?

Secondly, Joel shared with us that after his Super Bowl party several of his friends felt that we were cold. He wants us to meet with them again, so that they can see a different side of us. Part of me welcomes this second chance. Part of me dreads it. I am not always good at meeting new people. That is the excuse as well. My doubt is that You can use me to reach people I don't know very well, that You can enable me to be the outgoing person that I don't feel like being, that I've never been. Then I also doubt if this is what You called me to. Why would You give me a personality that is introverted, that only has ever required one or two friends, when You then call me to be outgoing and bring new people in?

Doubt #2: Can I be a people-friendly face of the church that I just need to be to be an attractive person?

I think I could probably find more doubts, but I want to end with a big third doubt. I doubt myself and my ability as a leader period. The responsibility of a teacher, that is great, but I was able to handle that when I thought that was going to be what it meant to be the leader of a church. Now, it seems that being a leader is more about being in tune with a variety of people, being in tune with You, being a connection between the congregation and God, helping them seek You personally, stepping into their lives and trying to point out where You are there with them, and oh so many other weighty things. And we're only talking about 20 people maybe! The responsibility has become a great weight, for I so desire to see their transformation into the character of Christ and when it is at all lacking, that falls upon me.

Doubt #3: Can I even be a leader under the force of this weight?

In Your answer to Moses, in the passage of Exodus 4:10-16, You get angry with him for continual doubt. LORD, please turn Your anger from me if You are tired of excuses. Despite Your anger in the passage, You do something so profound and wise. Sometimes I forget, this is going to sound ridiculous, that You have so much practical wisdom. What You do is that You send someone with Moses. You don't back off the call, instead, You give him some company along the way.

Look! You've done the same for me! And how I try to pick them apart at times, pridefully place myself ahead of them in my mind at times, shamefully think that they are so much better than me at other times, ridiculously live at times as if we are in some type of competition or something. No, LORD, no! You have given me an extremely talented, loving, and caring group of individuals to walk with me in these doubts. It's an amazing reason for joy within the difficulty. You have not left us alone, as You are with us. But You have not left us physically alone, as You are with us in the form of the community as well. You are beyond wise!

I will praise Your wisdom within my doubt today! Thank You for the blessing of community!