EXC Daily Office: Lead With Love

So the other day, I abandoned this to go on a walk with You. And what I realized there is that You would like me to be very much more attentive to my relationships. I need to put ultimate priority in the relationship itself.

I've done a very American thing this winter and summer I'm afraid. I've wanted to quantify my progress in many categories. I actually think that the success of my tennis team last fall started this. Until we won the Sectional, I'd always said that the relationships that I form with my players were the most important thing to me. But then all of a sudden we accomplished something, and my desires shifted.

In line with what I believe about the holistic nature of life, my desires didn't just shift in the tennis realm, but everywhere else as well. The number of people at church began to bother me, the number of times my wife and I were intimate stuck in my head, the number of calories burned at the gym or weight lost from the scale... basically to say that I truly shifted to a state where production was the measure of worth.

I've got to shift back. I've got to measure worth in presence and relationship.

The other day at my grandparents house, my dad shared that several years ago after a sermon he was challenged to think of a life motto, something phrase that he could live by. He thought about it for months and then decided that his motto was: "Just show up." It's something that he definitely embodied, coming to all my high school tennis and basketball matches, something that spoke deeply to me. It occurs to me now that perhaps that was a good way of measuring worth, that he was there. He never judged us on how well we played (though he would offer tips), but instead just enjoyed watching us perform. His simple presence, "just showing up," was really powerful.

Now, I don't want to steal my dad's motto, but I think the principle is so strong. I have got to be available to those who I cherish. That includes You, my wife, my son, my family, my church, my tennis team, my students. And I need to learn to not value them based on their performance, but instead to just value building the friendships, mentorships, and relationships with them.

So, I have to admit, my grandpa thought that it would be a great idea for everyone to have their own life motto. And I nodded and smiled, but inside was thinking that mottos are so trite... blah, blah, blah... (sometimes I'm such a pop culture snob!) Anyways, I didn't put to much serious thought into it. But yesterday, when we were relating, I realized that in many facets of my life I am in a leadership position. From family to church to team to school, I am looked at as a place of leadership. I have struggled with what to do. And suddenly, it came to me, my life's motto!

"Lead With Love."

I love it for many reasons. First of all, it is not about results. It is not about production. It is not "Lead to win," or "Lead to succeed," or "Lead like a champion," or something like that. No. It defines my success as a leader as being about my ability to love. And isn't that what being a leader should be about? Isn't that what Christ did for us? Isn't that what being a husband is supposed to be about?

So that is really helpful, but that isn't the only reason. There's something more subtle.

Lead With.

Such a relationship word, with. Not in front, not dragging the rest along. Not behind, pushing them with my new muscular strength. With. With. With. Walking alongside and through tough times with my family, church, team, and studetnts. Being with them, not talking down to them. Looking for You with them, not lecturing on what I think they should do.

So, I am hoping to be led by this new motto. But I have one request. I cannot "Lead With Love" if I do not "Lead With You." I need our relationship to be strong and alive. Remind me of this every time I start to plan, lead, move, change, direct, coach, teach, preach, sing, instruct, provide, play, whatever. I must be in relationship with You for anything to work. Thank You for revealing and reminding me. Lead me with love, beside me through this path of life. Amen.