It's been a learning experience for me during Lent, what happens when you give up on a sinful pattern in your life. It is amazing how quickly the whole experience becomes stressful, even if that stress has nothing to do with the temptation you give up. As you lose strength, the ability and willingness to resist becomes less and less. You develop other unhealthy habits until finally, you find yourself right back where you started.
Well, I haven't gone right back to where I started, Lord. But my strength is wearing thin, and I'm tired of being bombarded by thoughts of worthlessness. Three weeks ago I was not sitting around wondering whether I was a good teacher, a good pastor, a good husband, a good father, a good poet, whatever. It's not like me to be like that. And yet this week I've found myself dealing with those stresses. I'm really writing here just as a way to acknowledge this battle, this brand new place where I need You. I recognize the slander as not true, it's just the thoughts pop up far to often. So, help me deal with them in truth when they come.
Like the psalm said today as I read: "The LORD is my light and salvation - whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life - of whom should I be afraid?"
No one. No thing. Amen.
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