A Theology of Waiting: Day Fifteen

I often have difficulty right now sitting down and praying. When I start praying the list of things that I need to pray for seems overwhelming, and so I get through praying for Courtney and Gideon and then I simply stop. Sometimes I get started on the next topic of prayer, which is intermittently Exodus or my brother or sister or her boyfriend, or some random events at school, or tennis, or whatever... but rarely do I spend a significant amount of time in prayer.

And I know that prayer is not all about time. I know that we can offer short little prayers throughout the day. I know that prayer can be an attitude, an awareness, a .searching for Your presence and recognizing Your work. I suppose that is what this blog is, what I'm trying to do with these words and in these early mornings.

But intercessory prayer, I lack that ability to truly keep things things before on the behalf of others. I mean, really I lack that ability for myself too. I really admire parents who say they have prayed every day for the future path of their son or daughter. While I'm really concerned and trying to help guide Gideon the best that I can, I certainly haven't prayed for him even everyday. Some people will get real specific even and pray for the spouse of their child even when their child is young. I can't do that. I can't remember that many things.

The only success I've ever had with prayer was making a list. During tennis season, I made a list of all the players on my team and what I felt I needed to pray for them for. Then I would try everyday to go through that list. I didn't always make it through, but more often than not I remembered. In college I also made a list my senior year of all the things I needed to pray for each night on the side margins of my journal. Then I would pray through all of those side margins.

I need to make a list. I'm afraid it would become overwhelming, but I still need to make a list. It allows me to remember to pray at least. It will be constantly growing, constantly changing, but that will allow me to see even better how You are working in the lives of those around me.

As I think about waiting, prayer seems like one of those things I can control. Help me to do so with more regularity.