A Theology of Waiting: Day Eleven

You know what I need before I even say a thing.

In celebrating waiting here, before we get to Christmas season, I have to say I have actually struggled in the pursuit of Your presence. It hasn't been the normal holiday craziness that we often can claim, and how that holiday busyness keeps us away from You. That's what is concerning to me though. Because it is not just the extra stresses of the season, then the blame must fall fully on me. I'm tired though, of starting every conversation with You with self-indictment. Yes, I haven't been the best follower, call it failure if You want, but this is my effort at repentance. I am ready to walk in the opposite direction today, in the direction that leads to You.

As I read the psalm today, I realize what a weak view I have of myself. The last line of the psalm is to "Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord." I find that very interesting. Those of us who hope, who have been crying to You and repenting, actively clearing space for You in our lives, now we are to be strong because of our hope. It's interesting, You would think that with all the acknowledgment of how broken we are, and a view of how great You are, that we would be told to stay weak. But there is this encouragement to be strong.

I really wonder what be strong entails. When I looked it up just now in the original language, it seems to indicate a making strong, a rebuilding, a repairing. So when the verse says be strong, it is actually talking about restore and repairing the places we are damaged. And we do that because we hope in the Lord.

Okay, I'm damaged. Okay, I've been tired and I lack discipline. Okay, I will be strong and take heart. My cry today then changes, I know that You are the One who restores. Come and join me in the process of putting my life back together in a responsible, disciplined, Christ-like way. It's not that it has been terribly bad, it's not like I've fallen off the deep end, but it will be good to have Your hands moving with mine to keep everything in check. Thank You Father. Amen.