Even When I Don't

So, an update. Weekends make this whole "slowly and attentively" theme very difficult. First of all, it is difficult to find the consecrated time to be with You, because it is much easier to sleep in with my wife and son than get up and do this. It's like, sleep with my arms around my family or sit in the living room alone with my laptop? Easy decision. It's going to be my family (and I don't feel to bad about it... except...)

I never get to this time then. Being slow and attentive to Your presence is hard, and so taking two full days where I wasn't really even thinking about it made it a whole lot harder.

But there were times when You still hit me like a ton of bricks. We're driving over to Angola, to help clean out Courtney's room before her parents move in December. I'm listening to music while Gideon and Courtney are sleeping. On my iPod I select "Timothy Hay" by mewithoutYou and am just singing along, smiling at my beautiful family. And that is exactly what I'm thinking, "What a beautiful family, I love them so much! I couldn't be more grateful." And then on the music comes this line at the climax of the song...

"What a beautiful God, what a beautiful God, what a beautiful God You must be!"

Exactly. My thoughts exactly. And it fit so perfect, and Your presence was so close, that I could only cry beautiful tears. My wife woke up as I was wiping the tears from my eyes and Gideon did too. We sang together the rest of the way and had a beautiful time.

What a beautiful God You are. Thank You for showing up even when I don't. I love You.