Conflict

Joshua 8

Joshua is a really weird book to read slowly Lord. I mean, I decided not to change my course through the Bible because I was afraid that if I did I would never actually end up accomplishing my goal to read through the whole Bible again. I figured that if I added a "slow" reading to my "normal" reading, I would end up just quitting. So I just went on the slow approach right where I was on my reading schedule. And that all seemed like a really good idea until Joshua got violent.

I don't like conflict. Maybe I've said this before, and I'm sure You are aware, but I tend to shy away from anything that will put me at odds with another person. Sure, there are certain truths that I believe to be absolute (Your existence, Your love, the beauty of my wife :-) but I will listen to people who oppose even my absolutist of beliefs seriously, and usually not make my points about my beliefs as eloquently. You could spin it to say that I just care about all my relationships more than about proving that I'm right, but that is only true some of the time. Most of the time, I just don't want to be disliked.

Which makes it difficult to confront wrongdoing. In Joshua 7 that I read yesterday, Achan takes stuff he's not supposed to and burries it in his tent. He's not using it, flaunting it, declaring himself rich... it's just buried. So, the whole nation of Israel suffers because he did not obey the Lord. When they search to discern who is at fault, and they come to him, he confesses. He tells them where the stuff is hidden and why he took it and seems apologetic. Then they stone him.

What? I mean, I knew this story, but reading it slowly, my emotions start to follow it a bit more, and I felt sorry for Achan. I have no sense of someone getting what they deserved and liking it. I don't like to see human pain and disappointment. So as a leader, I particularly don't like to cause the pain and disappointment by upholding punishments. I like to believe that you won't do it again, that you are sorry, that you didn't know what you were supposed to do.

In the classroom, I warn multiple times before I punish. It's so stupid. At home, I can punish right away. As a father, I have yet to be afraid of conflict. Why am I so afraid with everyone else?

Well, this has been more productive than I thought. When I sat down to read, I was afraid that my pattern of not really engaging You (set over the weekend, stupid weekends!) was going to continue. Instead, You've given me a new way to look at the war and violence of Joshua. What will it say to me regarding conflict? How are You working in me in regards to conflict?

I pray that I stay attentive to these things. In the name of Christ, I come to You Lord. Amen.