Reading Without Getting It

Hebrews 10-13

Lord, I've continued to read through the epistles of the New Testament, and I've been struck by my different reading of Paul's writings. I mean, in the past I would have said that I didn't really like Paul. But I identified a lot more with him this time through. He seemed to be a person trying to speak truth to people who didn't always want to hear it. And I think the thing that I liked best about Paul was his empathy. He seemed to have suffered and gone through the ringer on his own, so he identifies well with others.

But then this weekend I've come to Hebrews, which some attribute to Paul and some do not. Really, Hebrews has been a difficult read for me. All this priestly talk and the order of Melchizedek (I'm pretty sure that's spelled wrong, but, not a big deal). Anyways, it just strikes me as odd that a HUGE Biblical character like the Son of God would get such a big deal made out of comparing him to a minor character like Melchizedek. Like, Melchizedek was in one story. I think it threw the whole book off for me.

What I'd really like to do is read a commentary along with Hebrews at some point. Maybe a commentary by a Jewish scholar. That would be good.

Sometimes, when I read the Bible, I just get frustrated when I can't quite get it. Because I feel when I can't quite get it that it isn't really lead me or others closer in relationship to You. So, I guess that's why I'm here tonight. Not because I have something brilliant to spout about the text, but instead because I don't. And I still want to use it to point me to You.

Today, in church, I brought up the question of relationship. What is our relationship like with You? I know what I've often wanted it to be. Speak to me to speak through me. Lord, can You please do this? Will You answer me if I stop typing and listen? What do You have to say to me if I am just still? Can You explain Melchizedek? Can You bring me closer some other way? Speak to me as I wait.