The Refreshing Here and Now

Scripture Reading:
Exodus 16-18

As I flipped down through my posts yesterday, I realized that I must always seem like I'm complaining on the blog. I ask a lot of questions, often say how texts or behavior is frustrating to me, and most often stand throughly confused at what You want me to do. I guess this is what they call struggle, which You have revealed through the Word and I truly believe to be a good thing.

I guess I write that this morning to say that what I share with You is often the un-figured-out side of my faith. As I wrote yesterday about personal praise, it was kind of a side note to the entry, but it is making me stop and think today. How often do I partake in that type of worship. My prayers often reflect the same type of thoughts that I share with You here, with maybe a bit of praise sprinkled here and there.

Joel preached on Sunday about maintaining our focus on the here and the now. Distraction in our spiritual lives comes when find ourselves floating around in the what about last week, what about tomorrow, worry and doubt cycles. Fear has such a grip on that type of existence. But here and now living, that allows us to see what we have, the good that we are right now doing, etc.

Last night, Courtney and I were sitting in bed. She was holding Gideon and I had my arm around her. I looked her in the eye, shook my head in wonder, and said, "I love you." She gave me a confused smile and offered back the same thoughts. But I think the depth of my feeling caught her a little off-guard. I mean, this wasn't some routine, "see-you-after-work" I love you. I meant so much more, but didn't have the words to say it.

My son, my wife, what amazing pillars of joy in my here and now! I absolutely cherish the time I spend with them. They are such a big part of my personal praise Lord. You have blessed in astonishing ways with those two. I simply recognize the part You play in that this morning.

And yesterweek (that's a new made up word one of my precious eighth grade students gave to me) I sat at my computer trying to think of a way to tell my best friends what they mean to me. That I have a tight-knit community, one that seriously encourages me to be serious about You, that's a gift. Speaking of knitting, You have guided and woven my life together with some special people. Your people. And living our lives together only happens because we believe that's what You would have us do. Because that's the best way to live. And that has proven true.

Even simple things strike me this week. My house is a 1914 Craftsmen style home. Bryan is working on a logo for a Craftsmen style village. We walked around looking at the unique features of my house. It's really a neat little place that as we looked at the windows beside the fireplace, I said, I love these little details, I love this home. Again, not possible without Your blessings.

So certainly, people and possessions You have blessed me with. But also with the experiences that I have with You and those people. Gideon's birth (amazing!) or even Abigail's early baby-hood last year. Watching, waiting, praying with friends who need a new job (provided), need to move through a bad situation (working), or even need a car (provided, twice!)

I don't want to be the Israelites, complaining that there is no food and no water. I want to be the one who has my eyes open to the here and now and sees all that You have provided me, blooming all around me. I want to say thank You. I want to say I love You.

And I mean that, deeply.