Today is the Due Day

I have often wondered throughout this Advent season about the awesome nature of Christ's birth, and why You chose to bring Your presence into the world through a baby. I mean, honestly, You could have just come as an unknown man and been God among us. But You chose to first break into this world in flesh by birth. What a miracle. And by what a miracle, I'm talking about both birth and You coming to the world.

I have all sorts of thoughts to set before You about being a father. Fears to be sure, but also joy, fulfillment, love, doubt, worry, peace and joy. It's so hard for me to not have the physical connection to our son that Courtney has. It makes me feel like a bystander at times, and I am in reality. I know that I'm supporting her, but I really want to hold him at this point.

I guess it's taken a lot of getting there, but what I'm trying to say is: "I'm ready." I'm ready to take that newborn child and wrap him in swaddling clothes and think about how Mary and Joseph did the same to an incarnate You thousands of years ago. I'm ready to take a child and put him close to my heart. I'm ready to hold my wife's hand through pain, watching the real life example of the journey through pain leading to joy. I feel a peace about the birth right now. Some things seem to be in order and some things don't, I guess we call that life. So I'm as ready as I will be.

And while I'm feeling good about the baby, I still long for intimacy with You. I have this hope that the miracle of birth will spur a closeness with You that I haven't felt in a while. Bu I long to have that closeness throughout the experience, from this beginning, from this waiting, until the end. I have given little time to slow down over the past couple weeks. I need some time to slow down and just thank You.

I read an article the other day that talked about a guy who prayed all the time. But he only ever prayed two prayers. "Thank You," and "Help me." That's me right now, simultaneously. Thank You for the joy You are providing to my life, help me take care of him and Courtney. I know in Your strength that I have security. And for that I thank You. I know You've given me supportive family, and for that I thank You. I know that You are with me, and have given me many people who are also with me...

and for that I thank You.

Glory to God in the highest,
and on earth soon, bring Gideon!