The Desparate Stress

Texts:
- Psalms 109-112
- Luke 19-20
- Mark 2

Lord, often times when I come to You lately, I feel an ache within my body. It's familiar. It's the same one that I get when I can't finish a poem in a way that sounds right, the one that I got when a paper was due in 30 minutes at college and I couldn't get the right last paragraph, the one that I get when class starts in 5 minutes and I have no idea what I'm going to teach. It's stress. I cannot believe it, but I've been coming to You and instead of rest I've been feeling stressed.

I know why too. I've been feeling like every time we get together I MUST walk away with something new. I've gotten so used to You amazing me, that I expect it and I'm beginning to think that I have something to do with it. If a text doesn't come to life immediately I'm re-reading and thinking, "There's got to be something here I can make a connection with, I just need to try harder." I'm trying to do it all, I'm coming to Your word hoping that I can find something. All this emphasis on I hasn't even really worked, it's just thrown me into the desparate stress.

It's just so easy to forget that You are the one who really opens Scripture to me, You are the one who makes the connections fly off the page, that has brilliant insight marked brightly for me to see. You are the one that I need to seek with excitement and wonder. That's hard to do with a heart full of stress and a mind bogged down by what needs to be done.

Lord, simply open up some Scripture for me today in a way that makes me praise. I have found that You are good for the past several days, but those realizations have come from events other than revelation from Scripture. I would love that to continue, for that is mighty good reason to praise as well, but I still want to see You in Your word.

I praise You, Lord God of word and deed, continue to bring Your word and deed together in my life and before my eyes and ears.